My aunt Lizzie passed away this afternoon. She was 82, quite fond of smoke and fonder still of drink, and had a full ride. We knew it was coming and so did she. She was diagnosed with cancer of everywhere it seemed a few months back.

I admire the fact that she took that in stride. She was of the opinion that "I had a nice run." She got to go in peace in her own bed and on her own terms. How many of us can say that. She was able to will herself to hang in there until the out of towners could arrive to say goodbye. When my wife and I split, she was the first to say how little that mattered, that there was always a place of me at her table and a cold beer when I needed one. That's what made it easy. When you meet your significant others family, it can be intimidating. First time I met the family was in Towne Gardens and despite how cool my in-laws are and were then, it was a little daunting to greet them en masse. But Lizzie was of a mind set that not only was I welcome, but what took me so long get there in the first place.

She told my daughter not to cry for her, that there really wasn't anything to be sad about. I later told my child that she should do whatever works best for her, but Lizzie's point was that she didn't get cheated and leaves on her own terms.

Me, I guess I feel bad that I don't feel worse. I admire that she was able to pick her time and essentially tell Cancer to fuck off until she got to see everybody once more. Mostly because it didn't feel right, we postponed my daughter's birthday revelry for a few days (still gave her the non-ipod today).

I miss Lizzie already. The "we all just folks, that's it" way she approached people should be law. So, I could go to Shakespeare for the gathering but it didn't seem right. We didn't birthday party today, we just hung out family style and raised the occasional glass to Aunt Lizzie.

Miss you, Lizzie!

Paul Weller and Noel Gallagher doing "That's Entertainment" It was the first thing to go right today. I didn't get my mail Tuesday, instead grabbed it on my way to work. Something about reading a rejection letter with your morning coffee can color the whole day. Fate really hates me. Within a hour, 3 different managers wanted to find out what my story was with the transition to Time Warner. Apparently, my boss telling them I was being forced to a new department was a complicated concept for them to get the arms around.

While this was transpiring, I got an email that I was behind on my cable bill (I was), so I had to go fix that. An incentive I was running got complicated and problem laden. I've yet to get my introductory crap and am still waiting literally for my Time Warner pot to pee in.

I think my last nerve is coming unspooled.

All this just to find out we're getting Adult Swim on Demand when the new bosses come in.

I stopped by the house formerly known as mine to drop off a pooh bear for my nephew and my daughter was making cookies.

It's funny what will keep you from going to pieces.

In between death, taxes, and spreading news about death to the family with a side of working in the middle of a silly ass merger, forcing my sisters to grow the fuck up and place, monday found me in serious need of some cosmic serenity, Monday night found me with no obligations to be anyplace so I headed out to the marina. As (e:jenks) once said, "if you leave your house, you occasionally see people." I did the stroll down the to the tower at the edge of the marina and took the attached by doing that incredible photographic stunt of turning 90 degrees (it's a tricky one when your feet are all thumbs.)
















The last one came from my spot at the ice cream stand. I figured I was entitled, having hiked the marina to the tower and back again.

You gotta reward yourself, ya know...

If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it.This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet.

It will re-write your harddrive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to yourcomputer.

It will recalibrate yourrefrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles.

It will demagnetize the strips onall your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.

It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.

It will mix anti freeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table whenthere's company coming over.

It will hide your car keys when youare late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic. Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened criminal.

It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their dates and rendezvous to your Visa card. Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease.

It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole.

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.

It is also a rather interestingshade of mauve.These are just a few signs.

Be very, very afraid.

I understand life is unfair. Hell, that's the world for you and in the middle of the TW-Adelphia takeover, I'm doing my best to roll with the punches but I'm feeling worked and it has a trickle down effect on everything else.

I've had estrip on a lot in the background to help keep my sanity. I'm being shoved aside not for some marketing wunderkind, but for a recent college grad who's rents are connected with the people who make a lot of cable tchotckeys, tote bags and crap. Essentially, I've been dealt to ensure a steady supply of souvenirs. That does not do wonders for one's self esteem. My big mouth got me into trouble too. When the transition happens, hourly employees will not get paid for a week, yet salaried won't miss a beat. I pointed out the double standard as well as how patronizing it was to tell hourlies "to save a little" for the transition.
My question of "Why punish those who could afford the least?" I'm thinking if the salaried folks can seamlessly work their way in, why can't the hourlies? We get commission and ot. I'm fine with settling that in, but if salary is going to get pinched, do for all or not at all.

I'm doing my best to cope with the shift in position -- Went to my new desk and posted a coming soon -- watch this space sign, with but not too closely in small print and the three women closest started carping about is that your desk? are you sitting there? Perhaps we should break you at that spot instead?

Oy vey! I can work with anybody, but this is going to be tough.

My current department had a work gathering to go to at the ballpark (causing me to miss India.Arie (dammit)), but it felt good to sit in the sun and have a few cold beers and forget about all the prima donnas and troublesome finances and questionable social life.

I got a funny feeling I'm not going to get the job I interviewed for before the holiday.

My esteem is taking a beating, sort of screaming in a crowded room and nobody turns.

Sucks