Can I just tell you that I think I'm a wacko. I had a dream that I cut my hair, and afterwards I realized that I have been trying to grow out my hair (which is true) and I started SCREAMING at everyone...like, I was hysterical. And I woke up that way, too.

I feel like something is really going wrong inside of my head and I just don't know what to do? But maybe I'm saying this because I slept way too much. I felt sick this morning when I woke up and I really don't feel much better now. And now I have to go to class until like 9 pm and somehow get home so I can go to the doctor's early tomorrow morning, and then go back to Fredonia to take a huge test I really haven't studied for much because I've been distracting myself with things that seem important at the time but aren't. But in reality, tests don't matter. It would just be nice to do well because if we get a 97 or higher we get free photocopying of library materials for the rest of the year. Now wouldn't that be nice? I could have extra money to do more ridiculous things that make me feel yucky and miss class! WOO!

Wow I just wrote that really fast. What is wrong with me!?!?! I have really bad breath too. That doesn't help anything. Ok well I have to go and look presentable for the world that I don't want to be in today at all. I would like to wake up and have it be Wednesday. Better yet, Friday, and I'd wake up in a car on my way to an adventure singing along to the Beatles and thinking that I'm really happy for once.

hanging on here until i'm gone
right where i belong, just hanging on
even though i pass the time alone,
somewhere so unknown, it heals the soul

you ask for walls, i'll build them higher
we'll lie in shadows of them all

february stars,
floating in the dark
temporary scars
february stars

ok so i have nothing to say but i couldn't keep the sadness as my last entry. soooo here is an update! now time for bed!

So sometimes I am really, really sad. And maybe the night makes it worse, and it changes from day to day...but that not much...every night sort of ends up the same. Uuugghhh....I just get sooooooooo sad and I don't know how to change it. and I have so many great things around me but something is missing and I hate it. Ahhh... =0(

so here is a person and a picture who always makes me smile...

i love big lindsay kramer

and another picture just cuz i like it and i love brian


don't be offended if your picture isn't here, you know if i love you.

EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS = Cinnamon London
(Favorite Spice + Favorite Foreign Vacation Spot)

SOCIALITE ALIAS = Doodles Fredonia
(Silliest Childhood Nickname + Town Where You First Partied)

"FLY GIRL" ALIAS (a la J.Lo) = M. Mal ...wow thats stupid
(First Initial + First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name)

DIVA ALIAS = Skittles Pepsi
(Something Sweet Within Sight + Any Liquid in Kitchen)

GIRL DETECTIVE ALIAS = Penguin Fredonia
(Favorite Baby Animal + Where You Last Went to School)

BARFLY ALIAS = Popcorn Spotsicle
(Last Snack Food You Ate + Your Favorite Drink)

SOAP OPERA ALIAS = Kathleen Lincoln
(Middle Name + Street You Live On)

PORN STAR ALIAS = Liberty Lincoln
(First Pet's Name + Street You Grew Up On)

ROCK STAR ALIAS = Goldschlager Rock
(Any Liquid on the Bar + Last Name of Bad-Ass Celebrity