So last season I totally loved Laguna Beach, the MTV reality show that was like the real life OC and followed some highschoolers in Laguna Beach, in Orange County California. I loved the seniors last year and they didn't seem to much like they were acting. But this season is totally different. It now like stars Kristen who was a junior dating one of the seniors last year. She was also one of my least favorite characterers. Her and her friends now seem waaaay to hard trying to act and ask certain questions. It also spent way too much time on like just people walking or driving and stuff with no conversation. Plus a new girl moved to school and is shaking things up. Yeah I'm sure she didn't move there because she watned to be on the show, yeah right?!

This first two episodes though did have the people from last year coming back from college which was enjoyable. Oh and a side note. This season seems like it will feature more sex. Like there was totally an implied innuendo and then I was like ew these are real people, who are like 16 or 17, that is something I shouldn't be seeing on tv , right?

Holy Heck! Can I tell you how much I love low bandwith mode? My computer at my parent's house is circa like 1995 and we have dial up internet so you can just imagine the connection speed we have. It is prolly like 10bites/minute. Seriously! Estrip, like most websites with anything in them usually would freeze the computer and shut it down. But now with low bandwith mode it totally works fine! It totally has got me back into reading everyoen's journal because it doesn't take 2 hours to load each one! I love it and it has made me fall back in love with (e:strip)!!! See y'all at the party tomorrow...

Last night me and (e:maureen) decided to hit up Chippewa. It was lots of fun and we were nervous about going out just the two of us but it was super fun!!! Maybe I'll write more detials later but right now I just want to tell about something I saw. We stopped by Marcella's for a little bit and they were like patting everyone down and using the metal detector wand. I have never seen that there before, is this common? Then after going in, someone mentioned it was Hip Hop NIght. So do they only use the metal detectors and pat downs on Hip Hop Night? That seems a little shady to me, do'nt you think?

Lately, I've been thinking about (e:jill) and (e:beast) a lot. I miss them a lot!!! But not in the way I thought I would. Like I am surviving much better than I thought I would and if I just look at things like for what they are and not at them as how they could be if (e:jill) and (e:beast) were here then I think I would have a much better outlook. Like at work the other day Michele was like you seem to be having such a great summer or something like that. And I was like hmmm I guess i actually have had a really good summer pretty much. I've done a lot of fun things and hung out with lots of fun people. And instead of looking at it as all the times I couldn't hang out with jill and teres, if i just look at it for what it was it was actually super fun.

At the same time, now I am getting nervous about their return and how it will be. Maybe I am overreacting but I just fear how it will go. For some reason when (e:beast) returns in november I feel like we will fall right back into our old ways and everything will be fine and we will be the same friends we always have been but I feel like it will be different with (e:jill). I feel like so much of mine and (e:jill)'s friendship was that for the last four years we had had almost all the same experiences. We had been there for each other or together for everything. And now this summer we aren't like. And like I don't know if we will be able to get right back into our we do everything together and hang out together all the time moide. Will we fall right back into getting along so great and just meshing so well together? Or have we become different people that won't be able to just be like that ever again? Her and JIm will most likely be getting more serious or will be more serious and like I don't konw, I just am afraid that everythign will add up to us not being where we once were. Maybe that is ok, but I don't think so. I would like to think we will always be as good freinds as we were. What if I have changed too much or she has changed too much? What if we don't liek the same thigns anymore. LIke I still tell her everything through email or our sporadic phone calls but I don't know, I feel like this summer i am changign in a lot of ways and i hope we will still be what we have always been....I will be so sad to see it change...but maybe that is part of growing up...I'm not good at that....as (e:maureen) pointed out I failed adjusting to new situations on my kindergarden reprot card and have never really mastered it since...

I MISS YOU (e:JILL) and (e:BEAST) .... PPP 4EVER

So oops! Last night me and (e:MK) and (e:Amanda) were hanging out on Jesse/Heidi/Amanda's porch. Now mind you we had basically invited ourselves in a way, but anywho we are sitting on this chair swing that Jesse got that was at his grandparents house I believe he said and then after sitting on it liek for an hour all of a sudden we hear a loud "CRRRRRRRAAAAAACCKK". Yes, we broke the swing! I felt terrible. I had no idea we were so obese that we go around breaking swinging chairs by sitting on them. I felt so terrible. LIke at least if it is liek a good friend that breaks one of your things it is kinda ok but when it is basically a stranger, it is way worse! It was embarssing and terrible though they were nice about it. At one piont I also said outloud "I peed myself" when I meant I spilled on myself. Everytime I see these people, I swear I come across as the stupidest, annoyingest, least classy person possible. Its so not who I really am (or is it? and I just like to think its not?)! I feel like I always make a bad impression! When I was telling Maureen about it she reminded me about my kindergarden report card where I got like the highest in everything except one category and my teacher wrote that I am bad at "adapting to new situations!" . I guess some things never change!!!

Afterwards , me, (e:amanda), (e:mk) headed out to Liars and everyone there was kinda ugly but thinking they were really hot, it was entertaining. I think I am done wiht Chippewa for a while, well for a few days at least, it is not my favorite place but it can be fun, so who knows...we'll see...tonight I think something very chill and involving nothing breakable is in the works......