remember when you told me the foam in the ocean is fish pee, and i didn't swim for 5 days? mom was so pissed. anyway, im thinking of making this blog into a homage to you. ur funny and lovely, and who else knits sweatears w/o arm holes? who wants to talk about feelings anyways?

i was complaining on the way to dinner this evening with (e:paul) and (e:terry). well, its cold, and with forced air, it just makes my hands and skin in gerneal so dry. not like the nice moistness of summer, mmmm.

paul says thats why i should masturbate with oil more.

who knew that was the solution?

jess left early this morning. back to the city. wah. her last words to me were, "there's coconut encrusted shrimp in the freezer, and mango sauce too!". yum. maybe ill check that out today.

it weird. even though my strange and awful illness is gone, i still have not regained my appetite. i can eat a little here and there, but nothing like my normal mammoth hunger. stress will do that to you.

my mom had to work today, so im kinda just here in the beautiful place with nothing to do. i go a little crazy sitting around all day.

maybe i will just take super long getting ready and mess around with my multitudes of new makeup, jewelry and clothing. oh the joys of being woman.

one good thing about having so much time on my hands, is all of the thinking I've been doing. thinking about the direction of my life, or lake thereof(lol). my aunt and uncle asked me last night why i was still in buffalo, she was sure id be in paris by now. i guess the answer is that life does always go as planned, and i made a few mistakes in the past few years. nothing i can't fix relatively easily. but its funny that my whole family is gone, and here i am, still a buffaloinian. its not so bad, i have some great friends and my own little apartment. lonely at times, but thats life.

when will i go to paris?


p.s. im buying my sis's ibook, so soon i will no longer be computer free. look for me at spot, ill be the one with ligloss eating cookies and drinking italian soda; pretending to do work, but really just idling.

i guess my stomach needed one day of rest, and then back to its old ways.

what is wrong with me?

plus, another holdiay family crisis...

as bobby b would say, "hell to tha hohoho!"

i collapsed and my whole body went numb. my family got me in the car and we headed for the hospital, but i started to feel my hands and feet again, so we headed back home.

i guess i feel ok now. thats only because i am completely free of any liquids or nourishment. i afraid even to drink water.

this is the most sick I've ever been and i might have to have iv fluids today. i don't have any health insurance, so lets hope to god i don't worse.

i wish for christmas to pass without any notice.