Today, my best friend Mark had to have his 18 year old cat, Emo put to sleep. Emo had kidney failure and needed to have pills every day and injections every other day. More recently, Emo had troubles eating and it was discovered that he had yet another abcessed tooth. More meds to battle another infection may have interfered with his kidney pills and despite it being a hell of a lot harder than he thought it would be, Mark made the decision it was time to let Emo go.

Back in February, Walt and i stayed at Mark's place in Toronto and took care of Emo. Mark went to Boston to help out his friend (and ex girlfriend), Aimee after she was in a car accidnet that killed her boyfriend and left her with a broken pelvis. I couldn't do much to help Aimee but i could do what i had in my power to help Mark to help her by staying with Emo. I got to know Emo even better during those 8 days. I didn't get much of a chance to hang with Mark and Emo after i moved out of Canada, soi it was like getting to know this very affectionate kitty all over again.

Mark called Emo an affection whore.. and he was. Anyone would do. He loved just being with people. Just laying there, smucking the top of his head against your hand as if to say "Pet me, DAMNIT!" He had respiratory problems and i know some of you may not believe it, but he was rather sensitive about it. Once Emo fell asleep near my face and i could hear the snoring and snored right back at him. He didn't like that much, the sensitvie guy.. gave me quite a swat. I deserved it.

Emo used to be called Michael. A fine name, but Mark didn't care for it much. He used to be the store cat of a used clothing store on King Street East in downtown Hamilton. That store... hell, that building isn't there anymore. Michael, as he was called then, was a mere 6 months old when Mark took him home. Mark knew almost right away what he would call him. Emo, named after his favorite comedian, Emo Philips .

It's not the best photo, but it is the only one i have. Taken during the time Walt and i were in Toronto looking after him.



RIP Emo. I will miss you lots.

Today, i had to stay at home to wait for a package to come, as delivered by UPS. I decided, since it was after 2pm, to track it online. Well, glory be, the package that was due to arrive on the 17th for the past 4 days is suddenly rescheduled. Last time we got a package from UPS the guy that delivered them (the chairs for the front porch) said he hates coming all the way out to the west side because it is "such a bad neighbourhoo". *sigh* So, i called UPS to see what the hell was up with this package. The girl at the national call center said someone from the Buffalo area center would call me "within the hour" to discuss options with me. You see, i can't stay at home and wait all day tomorrow, too. It's been about 45 minutes. Who wants to bet what i won't hear from them until i call?

This all started as a favour for my best friend, Mark, who is coming to visit us this weekend. Prying Mark out of his beloved Toronto is difficult... the option of feeding the lorikeets at the Buffalo Zoo tempted him (are my friends and family coming to see me or the birdies?). Recently, Mark boycotted Nike, who now owns Converse, which means he cannot wear his former uniform of chucks. So, he found a place in Toronto that sells PF Flyers, but they don't have any black ones. Mark said "what if i suddenly need to go to a funeral; i can't wear red shoes!", and he found a place online that has his size. But said company won't take out of country credit cards. OK, so, i used mine and got them to ship the shoes here... via UPS (i told the guy at the company that the Post Office might be cheaper and more efficent, but he just laughed... i was SERIOUS!! Sheesh!). They said they would be here Tuesday, Wednesday at the LATEST. We are going to Canada tomorrow, to visit with my family and then we will pick Mark up on Friday morning and all drive back here. We were hoping his damn shoes would be here so he can have and wear them on the weekend. Looks like UPS doesn't want that.

Still no ring ring ring from UPS. Shocked? I'm not. *sigh*

[size=m]UPDATE[/size]

UPS called. They take take the complaint seriously that they don't like to deliver to the "west end". Someone will be there to deliver the package "between 5 - 5.30pm" today. Wow. Shock. If it happens, it appears as though Mark will have his shoes and i need to find me some vegetarian crow.

We went to the fair today. When we lived in Knoxville, we went to the Tennessee Valley Fair and i guess i expected most fairs to be the same.

I was happily surprised today. It reminded me a little bit of the EX (aka the Canadian Nation Exhibition), which i loved going to as a kid. We went every year and my dad and i always came home with lots of stuffed animals. Brought up all sorts of warm and fuzzy childhood memories.

Today, i was a good girl, not pigging out on junk food all day. Just had a portabella sandwich with cheese and split some fries with (e:uncutsanilfush).

I saw all sorts of cute and fuzzy animals... had a nice convo with an older retired man taking care of his Devon Horned sheep. Fed a few goats, petted some bunnies, petted some cows, discussed world events with horses, looked lovingly at some very young piglets and talked to some parrots. Sat, looking at the elephant give rides, wondering how happy she is, feeling sorry for her... i just love elephants and i just don't know how happy a life she leads, having people sit on her back walking around in circles all day long. Seems sad to me.

I had a nice time at the fair today. My feet might not forgive me, though... least not for a few days. They worked harder than they expected to today.

the wind blowing a sudden cool breeze through my hair on a hot day

new and interesting cloud patterns in the sky

rain puddles and bare feet

hearing my husband speak my name with love and affection in his voice

hearing my best friend's voice on the phone

wondering if friends are having a good time overseas

seeing a bird fluttering at our bird feeder

remembering with extreme clarity the feeling of Diamond's fur

the first sip of very cold water

remembering the distinct sound of a friend's infectious laughter

wondering what happened to an old friend

the first notes of a loved song

the colour orange![bgcolor]#000000[/bgcolor]

Both (e:Jason) and (e:Maureen) have written about relationships recently, and both entries lead me to think about the subject of being in a relationship and marriage...

As ya'll know, (e:cutsaniflush) is my husband. I am very proud to be his wife. But, 5 years ago, if someone had told me i would be married right now, i would have told the they were full of shit...

I never thought i was marriage material. I never thought i would get married. The thought didn't upset me, even if i was a little saddened to find out that i was, once again, not typical and certainly not "normal". I had been in some horrible, horrible relationships. Too many times i made choices based on my lack of confidence in myself... and sometimes, the availability of drugs from my partner. I can't entirely call myself a victim, but i was involved in an abusive relationship. I must have thought i deserved it, because i stuck around for far too long. Besides, his drugs were really good.

After that relationship, i became seriously ill and was partially forced to get clean (i dunno wny, but chemo and heroin don't mix. go figure). I was bald, single and newly focused. I remained celibate for about 10 years. It was the right thing for me to do. During that time, i found a lot of time to think.

I used to think i had an ideal man. As (e:Jason) mentioned, there are women who do this... men, too. We all think we have a type. I thought he would be British, maybe Irish, glasses, a bookworm, some sort of science geek perhaps. What can i say, i have weird taste? I didn't know where i would find this man, but i did think he was out there, waiting for me.

Then, i met a frog... thought he might be in Prince's clothing, just mixed up like me. But such was not the case. I got burned again... and thought i would go the celibacy route again for a while.

But i had this crush on some guy i knew online. He and i had been friends for a while... longer than i could remember, really. A year, perhaps.

He offered to pay for me to come visit him, but i was too gun shy after my last failure in the romance department. I didn't trust my instincts. Then, an odd thing happened. A former Prime Minister of Canada died, Pierre Trudeau, and it made me realize how short life is. So, i called him and we made arragements for me to visit him.

He met me at the airport on the night of Friday, October 6, 2000, and we were married on Saturday October 6, 2001. I have not regretted that decision for one moment. Being with him, marrying him. Moving to another country to be with him. Not even through all the immigration complications and stresses. I love him.

If i had to be with my type, my husband would not be who i would end up with. He and i have both said if we had met in person the first time, we might not have ever given each other a second look. But we met online, a forum in which we were both able to know someone before the thought of looks or "is he hot?" even came to mind. He is a wonderful loving caring intelligent person and i consider myself lucky to just know him, let alone be the person he decided to share his life with.

In order to find that person that we were meant to be with, whether it is forever or for a long time, or for a short life lesson, being open to the possibilities is all we can do. We will all get hurt. I wish it weren't so, but it is. But it's what we do with that hurt is what makes us better people and what we can do to make the relationship we are supposed to be in to be the way it should be.