Hey (e:) Maureen,
Hope you are having a happy birthday.
-Jesse

okay, so I am officially really homesick. I have not been in buffalo since december 26th. And I have not been home for more than 2 weeks since dec 2003. I really need to get home. And all the banners with pics of buffalo make me want to be home even more. I do really like them. I just bought an old postcard on ebay of city hall at night. It is one of those drawing postcards that they used to do. It looks really cool. It was such a homesick impulse buy though. Oh well.

I will be home in less than 2 weeks. The only bad part about that is that because I am so homesick, I might not appreciate hanging out with my friends as much and that is bad cause I will miss my friends dearly. They have been such an integral part of my life. It will not be the same without just being able to hang out with them at will. I will especially miss my Indian. What will I do without him sleeping in the bed next to me? I really lucked out getting him as a roommate freshman year. There have been moments this year where I wanted to strangle him, but he is my right hand man. I will also miss the people that I like and am friends with, but I know that we will never talk to each other again cause we are not that close.The people that you pass in the hall, say hi to and occasionaly hang out with them at a party. I know people say, "well just become better freinds with them and stay in touch," but we all know that won't happen cause you weren't close now so why would you when you are so far away.

This brings me to my next topic, people I won't miss. I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about a mutual friend that neither of us have been fond of as of late (for different reasons). My friend had said something about not wanting to do something because it would annoy the mutual friend. My response was fuck them. I don't really care what they think. To which my friend replied, well I want to leave on good terms with everyone. Which is the better way to approach it? To me, I know that I will never have any type of relationship with this mutual friend once I leave, why should I worry about offending her when she has done a lot of bs that I don't care for. I have been like this with a lot of people lately. I have just been speaking my mind, not caring what people think. I guess it is good in someways but at the same time, am I too quick to burn bridges? I just don't think it is worth faking it for someone I don't particularly care for anymore. Should I tone it down or say fuck it?

I really should be doing work, hence the long entry. I only have one take home final, one 5 page paper and one real final left in my undergraduate career. I just can't seem to make myself do them. Oh well. I should give it a try.

Talk to you all later and hopefully I will see you soon.
-Jesse

I was watching a program on the history channel the other day about the Russian tsars, and it got me to thinking about how some monarchs had an adjective added to their name, such as Cathering the Great, Ivan the Terrible, etc. I then wondered what would my name be. Would I be remembered as great, as an asshole, as nice, what? This all ties in with my last week as Student Director for the Leadership Program. One of the people in the program approached me with a problem with next year's student director and how they approached people and it made me wonder what people will think of me and what I did with the Program while I was there. Will I be Jesse the Sufficient? Jesse the Replacement? Jesse the Person who was available? I don't know. I am just starting to think about my days ending here at AU and I hope that I made it a better place than it was before.

Sorry about that rambling. I'm sure it sounds very pompous and masterbatory, but I am pompous and masterbate a lot so deal with it.

On to other exciting news, my desktop is finally working again after a nine month hiatus. It makes me very happy, not because I didn't have access to my papers, I had them all backed up on my laptop, but because I have all the music videos I downloaded freshman year back. I can't wait to watch them and the few episodes of pete and pete I have saved on there.

Well I have to go read for class. Talk to you later.

-Jesse

Hello All,
It has been a long time since I posted. I have been working on my senior thesis and in the interest of getting it done, I had a self-imposed exile from AIM, elmwoodstrip, etc. But my thesis is now drafted YAY!!! I just have to go through and make the edits my thesis advisor tells me to. IT should be a pain but I am ok with it because I have something down and that is what matters because I only need to get a B in order for me to get credit for it and graduate with University Honors in Political Science.

On to other news, I just got back from FLorida for my cousin's wedding. I was there for a weekend with all my family on my dad's side. It was great to see everyone. ALl but 2 of my cousins on that side were there, which is pretty impressive, my dad has 3 brothers and 3 sisters and many of them had multiple offspring and now they are starting to get married and have kids. Two of my cousins are pregnant. It is craziness. But the wedding was really nice. Rather than throwing rice, they had live butterflies in these envelope things and you let them go. It was wierd but ok.

When we were in Florida, it was also my Grandfather's 80th birthday. I can't believe he is 80. He is so active and energetic. It is great. He is constantly running around keeping himself busy doing stuff. If I could have half of the energy he has when I am 80, I will be set. At the wedding, he was supposed to say grace before the meal, but when he went up there, he felt that he should sing a song (my grandfather is not a singer). It was a song that his mother use to sing to sing to him when he was younger. It was really sweet and genuine. My grandpa is a great guy.

On to other things. Did you ever know someone that you really wanted to get to know better? Like a friend of a friend or something like that. You know them casually but you feel like you would be great friends if you hung out regularly. But at the same time you know you never could. Hmmm. That is all on that. Hopefully I will post more regularly.

Peace out,
-Jesse

As of late I have really enjoyed the Pretenders' song "My City Was Gone." I watched them play it on their induction to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I looked up the lyrics, and as I read them, I almost laughed/cried at how applicable they were to Buffalo. I decided to make a few changes and make the song about Buffalo. Here is my adapted version followed by the original:

Buffalo Version:
I went back to Buffalo
But my city was gone
There was no train station
There was no downtown
The zoo had disappeared
All my favorite places
My city had been pulled down
Reduced to parking spaces
A, o, way to go Buffalo

Well I went back to Buffalo
But my family was gone
I stood on the back porch
There was nobody home
I was stunned and amazed
My childhood memories
Slowly swirled past
Like the wind through the trees
A, o, oh way to go Buffalo

I went back to Buffalo
But my pretty countryside
Had been paved down the middle
By a government that had no pride
The parks of Buffalo
Had been replaced by shopping malls
And muzak filled the air
From West Seneca to Niagara Falls
Said, a, o, oh way to go Buffalo


Original Version:
I went back to ohio
But my city was gone
There was no train station
There was no downtown
South howard had disappeared
All my favorite places
My city had been pulled down
Reduced to parking spaces
A, o, way to go ohio

Well I went back to ohio
But my family was gone
I stood on the back porch
There was nobody home
I was stunned and amazed
My childhood memories
Slowly swirled past
Like the wind through the trees
A, o, oh way to go ohio

I went back to ohio
But my pretty countryside
Had been paved down the middle
By a government that had no pride
The farms of ohio
Had been replaced by shopping malls
And muzak filled the air
From seneca to cuyahoga falls
Said, a, o, oh way to go ohio