It has been a month and a week now, and it feels like eternity. That's how long it has been since I've been unemployed. And that's a bitch. I had a job everyday since 2000, and now look at me. No job, no love. Woe to me, woe to me. I need to work, It's getting to cold to go to the corner at night and drop it like it's hot. I can't even let it down like it's warm anymore either. So if any of you know of ANY job opening, please, please, please let a nigga know. I am very talented, I work really good with people, especially men. I am very good with my hands, they move quite quickly. I love to talk, but my mouth works best when it's full. I am normally avaliable for work in the late night when mothers and children are sleep. So if any of you know of anyone looking to put this tall handsome youngman to work call me at 883-0688. Then give me about 20 min to prepare my "work station" thank you and I am here for you

Now with the year of 2003 coming to an end, I must say this. The year of 2003 has been by far the best year of my life. I have been through so much and met so many people, which I am deeply grateful for. This has been my healthiest year. I tried many new things this year that just made 2003 that much more exciting. Thank you, all of my old and new friends and I anticipate what the next year will bring to us.

"And so this is christmas, I hope you have fun"- lennon

Well in ways i am glad I didn't come home last night and i waited untill today. Although I was sick, I still had a good time with my family. I slept so late that I missed the opening of presents and dinner. And thats only because my family eats dinner about 1:00 pm. Weirdos!

It's christmas, and I have not had one happy moment with the ones I love the most. Forgiveness is a key to happiness. Some people find that harder to deal with then others. My brother has so much anger in his heart. He dosen't forgive my mother for all the pain she caused in OUR childhood. The drinking,the drugs, the hitting, has happened to both of us. I was there. So why can I find it easier to let go then him. My heart aches, coming here I fear was a mistake. Away is where i belong, I have moved on and backtracking, only brings me back down. My father is "a man of god" and one night he chased me out of our house, and screamed that he would kill me. He wasn't drunk, he dosen't drink. He has turned his back just eyvonne (mommy) did. Even more so because, he still hasn't realized it yet. My mother has come to terms that because of the heavy drug and alcohol abuse, that she lost everything. Her husband, money,house, children and mind. what she needs now is support.Being angry at her will only encourage her to continue her life style. I am proud of her. This past year she went to a centre in Penn. And she told her girlfriend she didn't want to use drugs anymore and that her and she should part. Now maybe that will only last a little while, but the fact that she made that decision is mopre important then ever. So this christmas, I bought her a gift. She deserves it. I hope that it will inspire her to kepp at the good things and maybe be on the right trac for the rest of her short life. That to me is the meaning of giving, and thats why I give. I am sorry to put this on here and it's christmas eve, but it was on my mind. So I say to you, if you haven't yet don't dwell on the bad this holiday season. If oyu look around oyu will see so much joy in everyone else that i hope it inspires you to keep a cool head. Even if you don't celebrate the season. Others do and others need you. Happy holidays and make someone happy this week.

tk

Well I have been in niagara falls all of one day, and i find out that my roomate wants to move back to the falls. What the hell? she's a litle spoiled girl who can't handle that being on her own. Which means sometimes you are going to be poor. Comes wit da tertoi hunny. I told her that i will not be moving with her and she will be on her own, cause Dinah is not moving to the falls. So i don't know whats going to happen now i really wish she would have thought of this before we moved into this new apt about a month ago. But nothing is set in stone. Another thing that caught me by surprise is my newly found lesbian cousin is joining the army. She feels like a loser I guess and she complains about not having money a lot. MY friend tyshieka but we call her "wee wee" dropped out of high school, got her GED and joined the ARMY also. WHAT THE HELL! culture shocks all over this biotch and i haven't even seen my family yet.
I was also searched out last night by an ex, who thought that i would be in town so he went to Denny's to look for me, and guess what? I was there. He came up laughing and acting like i was the idiot. Um hello you are the one whose stalking? Stupid bitch.
I saw a woman i used to go to church with when i was child, and i said hi to her. She asked "how is your relationship with christ?" I shrugged and told her that i talk to it every now and again. Some people never change. I cannot wait untill i come back to the strip. I am going to be back much sooner then i initially planned. It's soooooooo boring here and i have some things i have to take care of ASAP that i have been putting off for a while. So christ IF you are up there and listening. Thank you. they think my "relationship" might not be as strong as it was before but, we know better. Love to all, and you all be safe.