there is way too much going on here, im on overload. i need to get grounded again, so i don't forget things. quick, send me some words to remind me of who we are.

i also just discovered: taking place every week in bklyn- degrassi junior high, 4 episodes during happy hour. how can you beat that?

also, street theatre in the best city to do it: the surveillance camera players. (http://www.notbored.org/the-scp.html) they've mapped out the surge of cams (http://www.notbored.org/times-square.html) all over nyc, (http://www.notbored.org/scp-maps.html) which of course we all know is today's reality but still when you hear the numbers.. there's something like 4 cams for each city block at the rate they're popping up. there are cams everywhere, between the atms, stores, private residences, subways, etc. even if you and i don't know where i am at any given moment, someone knows.

"sometimes two people will regard each other over a gulf too wide to ever be bridged, and know immediately what could have happened, and that it never will." (r. ebert)

there's quite a soundtrack for this

• ding*

new years eve is always a lot more contentious for me than i would hope. maybe some new year in the future it will work out. but i hope that you find yourselves surrounded by the people you want to be surrounded by. i'm sorry i wont be there, if i happen to be one of those people for you. have a wonderful beginning to 2004 and i will see you soon maybe

"
I die fast in this city
outside I die slow

everywhere i am is just another thing without you in it
"

years ago a friend purchased one of those very not legal tiny miniature turtles in the streets of chinatown. somehow it came to pass that she could not keep the turtle, so little turtle was handed over to the custody of my family. the poor thing, it turns out the turtle is suicidal. could it be the pressure of feeling unwanted? who knows. but little turtle got out of the tank that was eir home, and tried walking off the desk, plummeting to a certain death that wasnt so certain after all. little turtle lived.

but little turtle's fate is yet to be determined, for eir shell is misshapen beyond normalcy. we have a little hunchback turtle!

ok, the turtle isn't really a hunchback. but theres something quite strange going on with eir shell, where the body seems to have outgrown the shell but it's still attached, and is turning onto itself in some strange twisted way. when i can get ray and his digicam over here, i'll post a picture as testimony. what's one to do..