well....for some reason, i was sitting here on my computer and I got this overwhelming feeling....of total uncontrol. I guess what I mean to say is that I am afraid of the future because it is still so unknown. I really want to go to graduate school....and I am planning on going to UNLV, but now that I think about it, maybe UB isn't that bad....but the problem is that the applications are due on the first of february. I haven't even taken my GRE's yet...and they only take new students in the fall...so if i don't apply now, i can't start till next year....o my gosh, i am just so stressed. what the fuck am i going to do when i graduate? I am going to have $30,000 in student loans....and no health insurance (which i need because i have $400 worth of prescriptions a month). And the chances of me getting a job in buffalo with a BA in Anthropology and Sociology is slim to none. This is why I did the CJ minor....as a back up, but now that I have finished my minor, i realize how much I fucking hate the criminal justice system and how corrupt it is. I want nothing to do with it. I want to be an epidemiologist. I just need to keep going to school in order to do that....and in order to keep going to school, I need to get all A's this semester and I have to take my GRE's in the next month. This is impossible! fuck fuck fuck.

and to top it off, my tummy hurts because of this new medicine i am on for my skin makes me so sick. It's like...i am 23....and have been dealing with acne my entire life. I have been going to a dermatologist since i was 10. My parents and I have spent hundreds of dollars to try to make my skin look nice...and it just wont' happen. I take better care of my skin than any single person I have ever met. So what the fuck is going on here? So...it's either be on the verge of puking every second and have nice skin eventually (i hope) or just keep doing the same thing that has given me shitty skin anyway. Ugh.

im in a really bitchy mood if you couldn't tell....its rare this happens, but when it happens, it all flies in my face at once and i can't get a grasp of anything. I just feel so lost sometimes.

and....im worried about sophia. I found a little lump under her mouth...and it might be a little tumor. great. I have to take her to the vet when we get home next week. All i need is the love of my life to be diagnosed with cancer. fuck.

I FINISHED MY SENIOR THESIS LAST NIGHT! IT IS FINALLY DONE. THIS PIECE OF SHIT THAT HAS BEEN MY LIFE FOR MONTHS IS FINALLY DONE! well....at least for the class. I guess I still have some work to do according to my mentor if i am going to use it as my writing sample for graduate school....but I can do that in a few weeks. ANYWAY...I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!

and the finals begin....good luck everyone!

O yes....does anyone remember that wonderful show? it was my favorite when i was a kid...it was great!


anyway....the start of the long finals week is on. Tomorrow i have to do my final draft of my million i have written for my senior thesis. I wrote my paper on Understanding the Epidemiological Research of MS. It's a great topic, and im proud of the work i have done with it....but come on, i have been doing this paper for 5 months now. I have put my heart and soul into it....and really, im ready for it to be done. So, a huge celebration is on once im done.

I have 4 finals. all on thursday and friday. awesome. They are going to suck my penis so bad. If i only had one.

im going out to this club tonight. its not really my scene, but i have to get out of my apartment.

and...for the record...i stll think my dog is the best thing that has ever happened to me....and once this week is over, everything will be wonderful.


i hope everyone that has finals has a good smooth week with no suicides or anything....remember: its not worth it. ok...with that said....goodbye.

yea...i know my dog is cute.....see below:

After months of convincing from my bf, i decided to try ebay for his christmas gift. I cannot say what I got him just in case he reads this, but let me say, i did not mean to win both auctions, but i did....and now im stuck with two of these things. wonderful.

See, I used ebay a few years back, and i ordered a pair of red pointe slippers... after being inspired from the movie center stage (no laughs please).... and they were posted online as being my size and blah blah blah...there was even a picture! but when i got them in the mail, the were way too small. WTF? i was pissed. And then i ordered these headphones, and when i got them in the mail, they were so fucked up, i was pissed.....i returned them. So, after that, i didn't do the ebay thing except when i was doing the selling at my job at Frizb's....but i decided that I would do the christmas thing to get this stupid shit....and now im stuck with 2. boo.


charlie browns christmas was on tonight. it made me really happy. i like that movie.

you know what also makes me happy: my dog sophia. she is the best. I need to post tons of pics of her on here so all of you can see how adorable she is. I love her.

and school is almost done. thank fucking god.