Life and all it's mystery,
unfold before my eyes.
All the twists and turns,
are really no surprise.
The sun will rise and rise again,
the moon will wax and wane.
And I'll have smiles and laughter,
to help me through my pain.

So what, I hear voices, I'm sure we all do. I bet doctors ( or whoever) would say it's just our brains winding down for a good nights sleep. I hear little two word, partial sentences, different recognisable voices, but I can never put my finger on them. It's I'm in a trance, not asleep and not awake. The voices are like little audio memories of something I can't remember. Like being outside someones door, something catches my ear and creates an indescribable picture in my brain, then gone.

I've always had them, there's even a voice that scares me a little. I figure It's from my childhood, because it's been bothering me for the last ten years. And not just while sleeping, there's a trigger in my brain, whenever there's a loud bang, or any loud random noise I hear it, like an echo. I know I hear it but the words never form, and the voice is one note short for me to " name that tune". It chills me, changes my breathing, my little demon. Reducing me to a scared child.

I wonder if our past is really behind us, because sometimes it stares us right in the face, like a rear-view mirror.

Well since 1989, I have been a fan of the Simpson's. I don't even want to think about how much of my life was spent watching this show. But for myself (and I'm sure many others) they're like another family. But my problem is everything reminds me of the Simpson's. I hear the word steak, I think " homer what do you want for diner,'Steak', but money's to tight for steak,'steak'." or I hear $20, and I think " Twenty dollars, I wanted a peanut!" When I should be quoting Blake and Poe, I'm quoting Ralphie and Milhouse (oh and the Simpson's did Poe's Raven for an episode).
I'm going to try to subdue my inner D'oh, and keep those thoughts to myself. People think you're a moron when you quote TV. I can quote Poe, Frost, Bobby Burns. But when is "wee sleekit cowrin timrous beastie" going to come up in conversation. So I say,"mmm forbidden doughnut." So Simpsons no more !!! I must take the road less traveled by, I hope it will make a difference.

So today I was eating some Nutter Butters, ( they're Peanut Butter Cookies shaped like Peanuts), and I noticed on the package two statments:
1. Now with Planters Peanuts !!!
2. Same great taste !!!
So how good are Planters peanuts if the damn cookie tastes exactly the same.

Hey has anybody been luckey enough to see the billboard on Elmwood near the AmVets. It's for a company called clean sceen. " Suicide and Homicide cleanup". I had no idea that things like this existed. But I'm happy to live in a city where you can advertise for such a thing.
And speaking of advertising, I hate, I hate, I hate that Divorce Billboard on the Skyway ( I think the name is Whaler). Then to proudly slap your ugly mug up there, peacock ! It's a hell of a way to make a life, by destroying others. I was at The Lowest of the Low Concert at the Pier, and they couldn't help but comment on the Giant eyesore. They were a little suprised, saying " We don't have things like that in Canada." I know some divorces are unavoidable, but don't plants seeds. A divorce is a huge decision, it shouldn't be treated like impulse shopping.

Wow my very own e-journal. Arn't I just a rock star. So anyway, Hello I'm Timmy, another friend of the NPP. I have a few friends that frequent these pages, and now so shall I.
I tend to be blunt so I hope not to offend, I have no predjudices, but in this Politically Correct world we live in, I find that I rub people the wrong way. But nothing I say is based in hate, it's based in honesty. I find that people never take the time to really think about, well anything.
A good example of this is definitly the issue of race. I, coming from Orchard Park, don't know,(personaly) any Black people (I have like four friends and there all white). But, I worked with a gentleman named Ladarryl over a period of a few months. During this time I was constintly asking questions like, " Since your African American, are there African English, or African Irish ?", and " Since Dave Matthews is from Africa, does that technically make him African American ?" I know what your all thinking, boy Tim your an idiot, well maybe I am, but this guy told me that some days I was the only reason he hadn't quit.( and he nicknamed me "the wiza" ) And he would go home and tell his family about me, his sister wanted to meet me, and his brother wanted to beat me up. But he liked me because I was totally honest, which is out of fashion now. People traded honesty for nice. I don't work with Ladarryl anymore, and honestly I miss our conversations, because I still need answers. (to my stupid questions)
Well now that I alienated everybody, this German Irish American is going to bed.

Remind me with every thistle scrape, my love, with every stubbed toe, of the beauty in the lost art of imperfection, Hawksley