The water is so warm here in Venice.

We were on the plane and it broke. Luckily it wasn't in the air yet. Now I am listening to the most ridiculous man force his life story on the flight staff.

Part of it him is royal blood from England. Specifically he is 350 people away from the queen.

He literally just said, "I am more important than a doctor, I am a medical administrator, I tell the doctors what to do and how much they get paid."

Which lead to him telling a story about actually being out of work for a year because he can't keep his mouth shut so no one will hire him.

He was here because his family member died. Then his best friend died suddenly. Now he is on his way to burry another friend who just died. At one point I think I heard him say to someone else that he is terminally ill himself and only had a week to live.

At some point he was bragging about living in Boco Rotan and not speaking the language but having a tutor that cost $125/hr that he couldn't bother listening to and making 100k.

Then he started telling the air crew all about plane crashes. The staff were not happy with that.

All of this because he just wants a cigarette but no one will let him out. Even they he was former CIA. No wait he dated someone from the CIA. Then he harassed the police because the TSA left before we cleared airspace and when he was working in the CIA that would never happen.

He drives a Mercedes but his wife took with everything else. She is his best friend still luckily.

I wish I could remember half of the crazy stories he had.

Going into hour two of waiting all the cigarette smokers are going nuts. I've just never seen people feind like this.

Sometimes when I'm on annoying conference calls I draw the weirdest faces.

This was one of the best chicken sandwiches I ever ate.

With freshly scooped baby coconut flesh.