Looking back a year or so, I've changed a lot. I found my center. I found motivation to roll with the punches and come out on top. Instead of not even wanting to get out of bed in the morning, I want to go out and live.

I've come really far. I've had to isolate myself, which some of you may not understand. It may have seemed weird, odd, flaky, but how many of you have ever had to ask the question "Who are you?" and force yourself to be alone to figure it out? Even though I feel like I've done well, and I have something to be proud of, it feels to me like I've only taken a step and there is an endless path ahead of me.

Now, it is just lonely. I haven't seen some of you in so long, and others I have always wanted to meet but it just hasn't happened. I felt alone even when I had a girlfriend. She didn't get me, and deep down I didn't want her to. A year from now I want to bury some demons for good. I've come pretty far up until now, and will I be a super hero in another year's time? No, but maybe it is okay to just be a super hero to one person.

I want to be happy. I want to be safe. I want I want I want. I need I need I need. Please God just give me one glimpse of daylight and I promise I'll turn it into a sunny day, every day, no matter how tough things get.

I'm gonna LIVE, y'all!

The mood is a little cynical. I had a hell of a bout of insomnia last night. Anyhow, check this shit out:

Spitzer aides use state police to tarnish Joseph Bruno!



Now, we all know about the three men in a room scenario (actually, do we all know about that?) and we know that our state politicians don't need any help being tarnished. I voted for you, Spitzer! Why aren't you above this bullshit?! Don't tell me you didn't know about it!

Unions hire homeless picketers!



You hear that, Buffalo unions? Don't quite have us by the short and curlies enough just yet? Next time you want to squeeze us for every last fucking penny, take the homeless to the picket line, pay them $8 and hour and claim they are temporary employees! LOL!

NYT Exposes Journalistic Fraud!



Not that any of you read The New Republic, it is far too centrist for your tastes (personally, I hate that they make you pay for articles on the web) but I think it takes some nerve for the Gray Lady to broach the subject of fabricated stories. Any of you ever read their Op-Ed columnists? Hahahahaha.

Edit: Oh, how could I have forgotten this one? Lindsay Lohan, arrested on suspicion of DUI (and definitely having some fuggin blow in her pocket).



There is something indescribably delicious about seeing an entitled celeb, who really doesn't get what it means to be a junkie, fall from grace. Oh yes, I am aware of her gravy training, enabling mother. When is Lohan going to visit the clink like Paris? When is she going to be unlucky and kill some poor fucker with her car because she's too much of an ignorant slutzilla to be sober when she gets behind the wheel?

Got a Razr V3t, which has all the features I could realistically use. Dude tried selling me a bluetooth headset but I think they're more of a fashion accessory, given the poor reputation they have for quality, plus they're about $50. I also don't want to be that douche that can't help but "be seen" with it out on the town. F THAT.

Saw a Pimp on Saturday, no really. Wish I had snapped a photo.

Eh, weekend was alright. Saw Chelsea FC on television on Saturday which was cool. Not much really to report. Oh, I did send my first picture text on Saturday, but I doubt they know who sent it! Very random.

Later peeps

Okay, so a week (ok, more than that) ago I lost my phone after I went to Consumer's to get my St. Bernardus - I was hoping to find it but at the same time the damn thing was broken (no to ringey, yes to vibey).

So I need a new phone, and I guess I have to get it tomorrow sometime.

Now, I don't need the newest fanciest, most advanced tech in a hand held device. I have never felt the need to browse the web on my phone, so I guess I don't really care if it has uber fast data transfer rates or neat browsers. I also will probably never care to listen to music on my phone. I have an iPod that works.

I need a phone, with voice mail, with a camera on it, and I also text on occasion. Basically something decent, fairly modern. I was thinking either LG Chocolate, or maybe a KRZR, or something along those lines.

What do you use? What would you pick?

Anyone ever heard of Avenue Q?