and not tia chi.
that is currently what i am drinking.
well, it's monday. i'm at the store. just me, some old school moby before he completely sold out and 1000 area rugs.
so it's been a bit since i blogged on here and there's probably a million and one excuses i could make as to why i haven't but why lie? i haven't felt like it. plain and simple.
at least in the meantime the weather has warmed.
'do you think the weather will hold?'
'no, i think it's gonna stop!'
so anyway, getting to leave job early today which is pretty alright. gotta haul home some of my moving boxes. woot.
and i just spilled hot water all over my hand. sigh.
well, i'm in a pretty good mood today for some reason. maybe it's the warm temperature, idk. rocked out to sequencer by covenant on the bus. definately one of my all time top 5. not that i'll be able to list the others now, but still. the music i make is, i believe, on a machine more advanced than that of covenant from when they made sequencer, and yet, they sound so much cooler. then again, they do have a lot more practice than i.
now that my boss' daughter is gone from the store and i'm in total control, i love my ability to listen to what ever. now i have an apop song playing, it's awesome. i don't know whether to hang rugs or dance.
well, it's still a little early in the day for dancing.
found a new owner for my poor poor car yesterday. glad to be rid of it but sad at the same time.
oh, whatelse. did nothing last night after painting at the new place, played a little oblivion and went sleep. played with my cat for a while. i wanted to get up a bit earlier today and stop at the bank to deposit my birthday checks from my fam but once again, i didn't. then again, i need the money in a few weeks so by leaving it in check form, i can't spend it so not a bad thing right?
why am i hungry?
i ate yesterday.
i have terrible eating habits. i eat like once a day if that. i'd say on average in a 7 day week (as opposed to one of those 9 day weeks) i eat five of those days and just once.
see, before i was in the air force i was a heavy dude. my whole life. if any of you were over weight for high school, you probably are aware of what that can do to a kid. anyway, when i lost it all in the air force (they have a great workout program called get up at 4am and start running!) i was determined to not put it all back on. but i hate working out, i have no work out motivation what's so ever. so i just learned to not eat, which in of it's self i believe would be some type of eating dissorder.
oh well. i smoke too much, i drink too much, i don't eat or sleep enough. i'm probably not gonna make it to retirement age.
meh.
i suppose if i had a reason to actually want a long life i'd be totally capable of changing my habits, but a lot of the time right now in my life i feel like 'eh, what's the differance?'
seabound just came on, huzzah! idk why i put this song in here. 'with out you' it's kind of depressing to a hopeless romantic. it's a release from the poisonous friend single, which is still my favorite seabound disk. good haujobb remix on there, the third version of poisonous friend is the best version in my opinion. but actually, this band called fluke does a remix of, i believe it's call control......hmmm, maybe contact. anyway, that's the best ever!!!! so kick ass. if i like it so much i should probably lean it's name huh??
well, yesterday my boss was in for about 45 minutes. she had her chemo so she was really out of it. luckily she's on the weakest level of chemo she's ever been on and her hair isn't gonna fall out for the third time. it is adamantly refusing. anyway, like i said, she was pretty out of it, so i didn't bug her w/ store crap as there really was none anyway. so we talked about john cusak movies for 40 mins.
being 27 now in 07, i was raised, like so many of us 20 something odd balls, on john cusak movies. i personally blame john cusak for a lot of my way of thinking about love and life and relationships. he made the geeky hopeless romantic into a novel yet tangeble protagonist who you really want to win in the end. the problem is that he generally does win. going at life with the john cusak 80's hopeless romantic mindset ultimately just makes you cynical about love and life, as when you follow the patten you typically see that yes indeed, good guys do finish last.
ahh, the world.
i need a new book or two to read. i'm stumped. got two really good ones from my mom for xmas, but was done w/ both of them by the second saturday in january. then i reread the history of narcotics. then i read house of leaves again. then i read dune again. just got my copy of the 48 laws of power back from my dealer, but i think i'm gonna pass on that one again for now.
i need some cool non fiction.
any suggestions if you bothered to read this far?
i have this book about the nazi's and hitler';s obsession with the occult, documenting everything they did before, during and after ww2 concerning it. it's awsome and totally freaky. they had some uber seriously fucked up plans. i forget it's exact name, but you should find it if you google nazi's and the occult. spectacular reading. i've been thinking about finding a book about the ottoman empire, seeing as it ruled a huge part of the world for almost 500 years. the last great empire before the world was changed by the great war.
really, looking at history, ww1 and ww2 really did change the course of history quite substantially. people were less isolated and more connected after that. idk, i'm sure it could be my entire thesis in college for history. but i just found out last night i didn't get excepted.
i also heard this morning that another friend of mine won't beable to move southward and go to college this years either. thank god hydro got into where he wanted and we all didn't come up short.
blech, well, ok, this is once again long but fuck it. not butt fuck it.
endin' it today on new order.
ohh you've got green eyes, oh you've got blue eyes, oh you've got greeeeyyy eeeyyyeees
Knife's Journal
My Podcast Link
03/26/2007 12:14 #38622
chai tea02/24/2007 12:24 #38264
the curse of 242Category: weirdness
warning: reading this may subject you to the curse of 242.
on a good note though, it's not a bad curse, it's just weird.
well, i'm assuming that this all started with front 242 but i don't know too much about it beyond my own history.
when i first moved into the city and started hanging out with the claremontians, b.s and b.c to be vaguely specific, the mystery of 242 was presented to me by these guys going 'oh, 242!' any time it was anywhere, which actually was quite often. on a clock, on tv in a video game, on a sign....where ever.
in discussion i discovered that these guys didn't really get it either other than that they both do/did listen to a bit of 242 in their lives and it helped shape them into the music that they listened to and made in their lives.
now, i had only recently learned of front 242 and had one of their albums which was ok. i mean, they are pretty old, seeing as headhunter and welcome to paradise were made when i was 8 years old!
anyway, that's when it started.
242 is everywhere. the number i mean. and it can't just be coincidence, i don't believe that anymore. i can't explain enough how many times a week i see that number. example: yesterday it came up four times. the first was while i was waiting for the bus, a van w/.....oh shit, what's it called.....gerber vision, come bill, help me out from your rainbow spite days......anyway, like the huge guy adds on all the buses, went by with it's phone number all over it and the last three digits were 242. then, around noon i was on the phone with a customer talking about rug pads and when i hung up the phone, the screen said 2:42 as the length of our phone conversation. in the afternoon, i was doing some stuff on one side of the store, totally oblivious to the time, walked the length of the store to our office to have a drink of my soda which was next to the clock, when i picked it up the clock changed from 2:41 to 2:42 right then and there. granted 2:42 happens twice a day but during one week i'll usually look at a clock when it's that time 4 or 5 times! the last was when i was on the bus. i'm a headphone wearer while riding because i can't stand the background conversation. well, i was on the bus for about 20 minutes on my way home when my batteries died abruptly, which was ok cause i alwas carry extras. anyway, before i got in the fresh ones, i could hear the dude infront of me talking into his cell (more like shouting) and damned if he didn't say 'no, 242. 2 4 2, it's a blue house. blue!' which made me smile because it was freaking 242 again.
so yeah, idk, it's something that happens in my life. i must have subconsciously pick it up from b.c. and b.s. amongst others but i don't know for sure. i mean, why is the clock in madden football, in fact in real football i've seen it a few times too, on 242? why is there always a car in front of me at a stop light with 242 in it's plate? this morning, what prompted this was i had 2420 profile views, there it is agan 242.
have any of you dealt with this particular phenominon?
on a good note though, it's not a bad curse, it's just weird.
well, i'm assuming that this all started with front 242 but i don't know too much about it beyond my own history.
when i first moved into the city and started hanging out with the claremontians, b.s and b.c to be vaguely specific, the mystery of 242 was presented to me by these guys going 'oh, 242!' any time it was anywhere, which actually was quite often. on a clock, on tv in a video game, on a sign....where ever.
in discussion i discovered that these guys didn't really get it either other than that they both do/did listen to a bit of 242 in their lives and it helped shape them into the music that they listened to and made in their lives.
now, i had only recently learned of front 242 and had one of their albums which was ok. i mean, they are pretty old, seeing as headhunter and welcome to paradise were made when i was 8 years old!
anyway, that's when it started.
242 is everywhere. the number i mean. and it can't just be coincidence, i don't believe that anymore. i can't explain enough how many times a week i see that number. example: yesterday it came up four times. the first was while i was waiting for the bus, a van w/.....oh shit, what's it called.....gerber vision, come bill, help me out from your rainbow spite days......anyway, like the huge guy adds on all the buses, went by with it's phone number all over it and the last three digits were 242. then, around noon i was on the phone with a customer talking about rug pads and when i hung up the phone, the screen said 2:42 as the length of our phone conversation. in the afternoon, i was doing some stuff on one side of the store, totally oblivious to the time, walked the length of the store to our office to have a drink of my soda which was next to the clock, when i picked it up the clock changed from 2:41 to 2:42 right then and there. granted 2:42 happens twice a day but during one week i'll usually look at a clock when it's that time 4 or 5 times! the last was when i was on the bus. i'm a headphone wearer while riding because i can't stand the background conversation. well, i was on the bus for about 20 minutes on my way home when my batteries died abruptly, which was ok cause i alwas carry extras. anyway, before i got in the fresh ones, i could hear the dude infront of me talking into his cell (more like shouting) and damned if he didn't say 'no, 242. 2 4 2, it's a blue house. blue!' which made me smile because it was freaking 242 again.
so yeah, idk, it's something that happens in my life. i must have subconsciously pick it up from b.c. and b.s. amongst others but i don't know for sure. i mean, why is the clock in madden football, in fact in real football i've seen it a few times too, on 242? why is there always a car in front of me at a stop light with 242 in it's plate? this morning, what prompted this was i had 2420 profile views, there it is agan 242.
have any of you dealt with this particular phenominon?
metalpeter - 02/24/07 15:15
In terms of (e:Jenks) mom always waking up at the same time. That makes sense since each persons body has an inside clock of its own (a figuretive one). But once she noticed the patern there is a good chance that if she didn't wake up at that exact time or if she didn't see the clock at that exact time her mind might forget that and only remember the time of 333. It is also posible that the mind once it sees a patern will repeat that pateran as a false memory. But in terms of 333 I do know someone who had that address and maybe even a second person. I myself allways notice when it is 420 not that I'm a 420er myself. Usaly if I see it on something I will notice it well the same can be said of 69 also but most numbers I just discount. I maygo to see 23 today not sure, if I do that might change my perspective. I'm not saying your mother jenks didn't wake up at that time, I'm saying sometimes our own mind tricks us.
In terms of (e:Jenks) mom always waking up at the same time. That makes sense since each persons body has an inside clock of its own (a figuretive one). But once she noticed the patern there is a good chance that if she didn't wake up at that exact time or if she didn't see the clock at that exact time her mind might forget that and only remember the time of 333. It is also posible that the mind once it sees a patern will repeat that pateran as a false memory. But in terms of 333 I do know someone who had that address and maybe even a second person. I myself allways notice when it is 420 not that I'm a 420er myself. Usaly if I see it on something I will notice it well the same can be said of 69 also but most numbers I just discount. I maygo to see 23 today not sure, if I do that might change my perspective. I'm not saying your mother jenks didn't wake up at that time, I'm saying sometimes our own mind tricks us.
knife - 02/24/07 14:21
cool, good input all around so far. you, metalpeter, are probably right. these thoughts have crossed my mind as well in the past.
you're right about the buses too! lol
cool, good input all around so far. you, metalpeter, are probably right. these thoughts have crossed my mind as well in the past.
you're right about the buses too! lol
jenks - 02/24/07 14:03
For years my mom swore she would wake up at 3:33 every night. No alarm, just all of the sudden she'd be awake and would look at the clock and it was always 3:33. Weird.
For years my mom swore she would wake up at 3:33 every night. No alarm, just all of the sudden she'd be awake and would look at the clock and it was always 3:33. Weird.
metalpeter - 02/24/07 13:38
Not that I have seen it but it is the same idea in that movie 23. That being said I belive that the number 242 apears no more then any other number you see. It is just that you have heard people talk about the number so now your mind notices it when you see it. If you do something and the clock says 3:00Pm or the lincanse plate is 578 it dosn't stick out but when you see those numbers it sticks out. For some people this happns with 420. It like when you wait (me also) for a bus and more buses always pass you on the other side before your bus comes. The reason for that is if your bus gets there first then you can't see the other buses get there. But when your bus comes you don't go why didn't three buses get here before mine. That is also the way psyics work. They tell you a lot of stuff and a lot of it is wrong or dosn't happen but the few things that do are so powerfull to your mind that you think wow they really know me and thats awesome. What is happening is really just a form of perception. Or maybe you should just play that number as the 3 digit everyday.
Not that I have seen it but it is the same idea in that movie 23. That being said I belive that the number 242 apears no more then any other number you see. It is just that you have heard people talk about the number so now your mind notices it when you see it. If you do something and the clock says 3:00Pm or the lincanse plate is 578 it dosn't stick out but when you see those numbers it sticks out. For some people this happns with 420. It like when you wait (me also) for a bus and more buses always pass you on the other side before your bus comes. The reason for that is if your bus gets there first then you can't see the other buses get there. But when your bus comes you don't go why didn't three buses get here before mine. That is also the way psyics work. They tell you a lot of stuff and a lot of it is wrong or dosn't happen but the few things that do are so powerfull to your mind that you think wow they really know me and thats awesome. What is happening is really just a form of perception. Or maybe you should just play that number as the 3 digit everyday.
vincent - 02/24/07 13:30
For me it's eirther 11:11 or 1:11. Although I have heard that it is a good sign when you see the 1's and one should make a wish upon seeing it on a clock...
For me it's eirther 11:11 or 1:11. Although I have heard that it is a good sign when you see the 1's and one should make a wish upon seeing it on a clock...
knife - 02/24/07 13:02
ha! that's weird.
some one in a club tonight has stolen my idea.
or, well, ok, so not my idea but still.
ha! that's weird.
some one in a club tonight has stolen my idea.
or, well, ok, so not my idea but still.
02/14/2007 12:27 #38145
ladies and gentlemen, mr. bobby darin!Category: vd
Down with love the flowers and rice and shoes
Down with love the root of all midnight blues
Down with things that give you that well-known pain
Take that moon wrap it in cellophane.
Down with love let's liquidate all its friends
The moons, the Junes, the roses and rainbow's ends
Down with songs that moan about night and day
Down with love yes take it away ... away.
Away ...
Far away ...
Give it back to the birds and the bees and especially the Viennese.
Down with eyes romantic and stupid
Down with sighs and down with cupid
Brother ... let's stuff that dove
Down with love.
Down with love let's liquidate all its friends
The moons the Junes the roses and rainbow's ends
Down with songs that moan about night and day
Down with love yes take it away, away.
Far away ...
So very, very far away ...
Give it back to the birds and the bees and especially the Viennese.
Down with eyes romantic and stupid
Down with sighs and down with cupid
Brother ... let's stuff that dove
Down with love.
happy stinking valentines day consumers!
Down with love the root of all midnight blues
Down with things that give you that well-known pain
Take that moon wrap it in cellophane.
Down with love let's liquidate all its friends
The moons, the Junes, the roses and rainbow's ends
Down with songs that moan about night and day
Down with love yes take it away ... away.
Away ...
Far away ...
Give it back to the birds and the bees and especially the Viennese.
Down with eyes romantic and stupid
Down with sighs and down with cupid
Brother ... let's stuff that dove
Down with love.
Down with love let's liquidate all its friends
The moons the Junes the roses and rainbow's ends
Down with songs that moan about night and day
Down with love yes take it away, away.
Far away ...
So very, very far away ...
Give it back to the birds and the bees and especially the Viennese.
Down with eyes romantic and stupid
Down with sighs and down with cupid
Brother ... let's stuff that dove
Down with love.
happy stinking valentines day consumers!
02/13/2007 15:13 #38128
three beers, three barsCategory: life
damn it's cold today.
my skull hurt this morning while waiting for the bus. not my brain like a headache, my freaking skull!
ugh, so what's new?
bar hopped this weekend, was ok. we decided to go to bars we were unfamiliar with. first up was century grill, which was ok, pretty dead, 4 bucks for a pint of blue. meh. after an hour we walked over to hemingways (which we thought was a tad closer than it really was), pint of guiness for 3 bucks, slammin deal. definately more designed with resturant in mind. me 'n' tina got to talkin' to the tender, who showed us a menu. the menu is the dead give away that the digs are owned by the same people who own gabriel's gate. same exact sandwiches and such, but instead of street names....what did they have...oh, stage venue names, like sheas and alleyway and what not, which makes sense seeing as they're in the theater district. just a word to the wise if you go there, they have two different menu's, one for whenever, and one scheduled around show times, so if sheas is letting out when you get there, be prepared for inflated costs. oh, and while talking to us, the bartender got a bloody nose and bled all over the bar leaving us to stare at his blood on the counter while he was away. the other bar tender wouldn't clean it up, we told him, he looked at it and said 'ewww, gross' and walked away. then after a pint and a half (i measure time in increments of alcohol) we decided to check out staples on allen, new bar...no office supplies.
staples, from first appearance, looks like a hallway that serves alcohol packed with people. once you get past that and hang a left, there's a great open area with tables and loungy furniture for chillin' and games and stuff. had my very first red stripe, it was very nice.
so that was my big weekend out. i barely go out anymore, at least to bars and stuff cause it's too damn expensive. but then again, i had fun for 4 1/2 hrs and spent what, 13 bucks, so not too shabby.
see ya
my skull hurt this morning while waiting for the bus. not my brain like a headache, my freaking skull!
ugh, so what's new?
bar hopped this weekend, was ok. we decided to go to bars we were unfamiliar with. first up was century grill, which was ok, pretty dead, 4 bucks for a pint of blue. meh. after an hour we walked over to hemingways (which we thought was a tad closer than it really was), pint of guiness for 3 bucks, slammin deal. definately more designed with resturant in mind. me 'n' tina got to talkin' to the tender, who showed us a menu. the menu is the dead give away that the digs are owned by the same people who own gabriel's gate. same exact sandwiches and such, but instead of street names....what did they have...oh, stage venue names, like sheas and alleyway and what not, which makes sense seeing as they're in the theater district. just a word to the wise if you go there, they have two different menu's, one for whenever, and one scheduled around show times, so if sheas is letting out when you get there, be prepared for inflated costs. oh, and while talking to us, the bartender got a bloody nose and bled all over the bar leaving us to stare at his blood on the counter while he was away. the other bar tender wouldn't clean it up, we told him, he looked at it and said 'ewww, gross' and walked away. then after a pint and a half (i measure time in increments of alcohol) we decided to check out staples on allen, new bar...no office supplies.
staples, from first appearance, looks like a hallway that serves alcohol packed with people. once you get past that and hang a left, there's a great open area with tables and loungy furniture for chillin' and games and stuff. had my very first red stripe, it was very nice.
so that was my big weekend out. i barely go out anymore, at least to bars and stuff cause it's too damn expensive. but then again, i had fun for 4 1/2 hrs and spent what, 13 bucks, so not too shabby.
see ya
02/08/2007 18:55 #38074
oh the wasting of timeCategory: work
well, it's thursday night which means i'm here alone at the store until all ungodly hours of the night.
well, 9:15.
been here since ten, no shoppers since 11:30ish. what a long ass day.
worked on my inventory for a bit, but it numbs my brain and will give me something to do on saturday if there is aweful weather.
have you ever felt like you're wasting your life at your job?
this is a good job, no doubt, but lately, since about the middle of last year, it all just feels like a waste of time.
i used to be really into my job, used to like coming here everyday.
back when we had customers. psst and employees.
since saturday to today i have been here aprox 40hrs, with sunday off. my only coworker is my boss' daughter who's part time and not very, sall i say.........well, she's the boss' daughter.
she's been here about 10 of those hours, 2 of them being when i was gone on tuesday night, so really for about 8 hrs of my time. my boss has cancer and is not very well and really is not here very often, actually about an hour from sat thru today, all on tuesday.
sure i make hourly and commission, but the steady decrease in customers since we sold half the business (used to be two connected stores) is really atrocias.
i remember days of haveing three sets of customers at once between two stores all day long. today i have only had two customers at all, and neither of them were even close to buying.
idk, i really don't want to work here anymore, especially since i lost money in 2006. sure i have virtually no competition on the sales floor, but i also don't have any help in maintaining the store. i know that (i have fridays off) when i come in on saturday the place will be destroyed like always because of it not being cleaned up after each customer comes in. because of laziness. because of the feeling of being deserving just by being blood and not having to actually earn a living.
the whole situation is depressing and aggrivating.
i don't want to just quit though because i've put too much effort into this place for the last five years and i do owe my boss quite a bit in regards to our actual friendship.
the problem is she's fighting her illness and is never here.
when carolyn got sick the store got sick with her.
idk.
problem is too that i don't really want to leave this job for another one like it because i really do not like sales. it's so redundant with the same kind of people with the same kind of questions with the same bitchy attitude when they're actually expected to pay for their goods.
somewhere along the line a lot of people 'learned' that they're entitled to special deals by just walking in the door. i have no idea where this mentality came from but it's so overly abundant now it's suffocating.
i hope i get into buff state.
i really want to be a historian.
well, 9:15.
been here since ten, no shoppers since 11:30ish. what a long ass day.
worked on my inventory for a bit, but it numbs my brain and will give me something to do on saturday if there is aweful weather.
have you ever felt like you're wasting your life at your job?
this is a good job, no doubt, but lately, since about the middle of last year, it all just feels like a waste of time.
i used to be really into my job, used to like coming here everyday.
back when we had customers. psst and employees.
since saturday to today i have been here aprox 40hrs, with sunday off. my only coworker is my boss' daughter who's part time and not very, sall i say.........well, she's the boss' daughter.
she's been here about 10 of those hours, 2 of them being when i was gone on tuesday night, so really for about 8 hrs of my time. my boss has cancer and is not very well and really is not here very often, actually about an hour from sat thru today, all on tuesday.
sure i make hourly and commission, but the steady decrease in customers since we sold half the business (used to be two connected stores) is really atrocias.
i remember days of haveing three sets of customers at once between two stores all day long. today i have only had two customers at all, and neither of them were even close to buying.
idk, i really don't want to work here anymore, especially since i lost money in 2006. sure i have virtually no competition on the sales floor, but i also don't have any help in maintaining the store. i know that (i have fridays off) when i come in on saturday the place will be destroyed like always because of it not being cleaned up after each customer comes in. because of laziness. because of the feeling of being deserving just by being blood and not having to actually earn a living.
the whole situation is depressing and aggrivating.
i don't want to just quit though because i've put too much effort into this place for the last five years and i do owe my boss quite a bit in regards to our actual friendship.
the problem is she's fighting her illness and is never here.
when carolyn got sick the store got sick with her.
idk.
problem is too that i don't really want to leave this job for another one like it because i really do not like sales. it's so redundant with the same kind of people with the same kind of questions with the same bitchy attitude when they're actually expected to pay for their goods.
somewhere along the line a lot of people 'learned' that they're entitled to special deals by just walking in the door. i have no idea where this mentality came from but it's so overly abundant now it's suffocating.
i hope i get into buff state.
i really want to be a historian.
i don't feel bad, gives me something aspire to!
i saw an old vid once of bowie and eno working on low. gotta love analogue synth, all the cables and half inch jacks, mmm.
It is baffling to think that Brian Eno could revolutionize music the way John Cage could on the crappy equipment he had in the 70's. Or how Thomas Dolby was able to sing harmonies with himself because of his crappy, homemade equipment. Even John Cale made Nico sound amazing with just a dinky harmonium, not even real electronic equipment.
It boggles the mind, so don't feel too bad about what covenant can do.