i was told that i made a mistake in posting what i had previously posted about my experience at the new year's party.

i appologize that i was careless and would never, ever want to hurt anyone.

in order to not offend anyone, i have censored my journal entry.

at the party, ALL I COULD DO WAS MEDITATE. i had little desire to join the rest of the party, i just wanted to be quiet and peaceful and enjoy meditating. (although i did enjoy when people came in a couple times to visit for a bit.) it was so peaceful. it was really intense to sit in a room completely still and alone while people all around were enjoying a party. it was enjoyable to me, even if it doesn't necesarily sound it.

but then i realized that i did want to go to a party. and i decided that it was pretty fun.

i realized that there are a lot of drugs in buffalo: yesterday, i went to visit my neighbor and he described all the drugs he did on new years: lsd, k, pot, and various pills that i didn't know. when he was describing his experience of being in a "k hole" i realized that i never want to be that messed up in my life. and i am sure that i never will be.

definitely.

i got up super early this morning to go to the world peace meditation at the unity church on delaware.

it was the nicest service i've ever been to that was inside a church. this meditation is done all throughout the world at noon greenwich mean time on december 31 every year. it started 20 years ago, in 1986, the international year of peace.

it was a touching service, consisting of members of the church coming up to the front to read peaceful words that are meaningful to them. people read from a number of traditions, including rabbi harold kushner, psalms from the bible, a hindu swami, and the peace document from the unity church itself. there was a lot of emotion because people had chosen the readings themselves, especially from the blind woman who found her readings on the internet and read them from a braille page.

then we lit candles for each of the seven major religions of the world. (according to them, they are Islam, Judiasm, Christianity/B'hai, native american traditions, buddhism, hinduism, and daoism) people read a paragraph of how each of those religions defines peace as each candle was lit.

finally, we read the world peace meditation together. exactly as the sun rose (7:43), we read these words:

I now open my heart.
and let the pure essence of unconditional love pour out.
i see it as a golden light radiating from the center of my being.
and i feel its divine vibrations in and through me, above and below me.

i am so glad that i happened to drive by the unity church the other day and read "world peace meditation, 7am." this was a wonderful experience to have on the last day of 2006.

I celebrated christmas for the third time today.

today the invitees were:
bridget, my roommate
sabrina, roommate's sister
chuck, sabrina's boyfriend
ray, bridget & sabrina's schizophrenic father
hannah, bridget's 5-week old daughter
me

it turned out that all the left over presents that had been presented to me by the universe had a chance to be given out today. I couldn't find the duct tape that I had been using to wrap presents, so I hid the presents under a blanket <poof!> and we played "grap a gift." chuck chose the box of toothbrush, toothpase, floss, and chapstick, saying that he really could use all of those things. bridget unwrapped the 2007 calendar that I got for her a couple months ago. sabrina grabbed a clock that had a place for a photograph, of which bridget had many of hannah that she just had taken. everyone was surprised that there still was another present left for ray, seeing as I never could have imagened that he would come over. (I've known bridget for 13 years but have never yet met ray.) ray got a flashlight and was really happy with it.

I had never spent as much time with a schizophrenic person as I did today. it really seemed like he was on acid from how he talked and how many times he repeated the things he found interesting. i could tell that he really liked me, but luckily kept a respectful distance but did ask me interesting questions the times that i did talke with him.
eventually, ray and his girlfriend made up so I gave him a ride home. he was so pleased to get the flashlight gift that he gave me a gift, too (grab in the bag to get it, oda!) and he gave me 2 packs of guitar strings. turns out that I just got a guitar for christmas...

i took my first exam today, getting an a-. i'm taking developmental psychology at ecc for their winter session, which lasts only 2 weeks. i read the whole textbook and take eight exams over the two weeks.

i thought i was going to have to take the bus to orchard park every day, spending at least 4 hours travelling a day, but it turns out that this is an online course, which really means that you can skip class every day. i personally enjoy going to class; that's where i learn the most, but i am glad to not have to waste all that time on the bus.

this is working out perfectly.

as i was walking out to sit on the steps outside to have a cigarette, i was thinking how i always avoid the numbers 2 and 4, especially 4 and that i probably should make peace with the number 4.

i sat down, unintentionally, or intentionally, as the universe always is, on the fourth step. it was particularly comfortable, had a better view of the tree than the others around it and i did enjoy sitting there.

but i just don't have that many positive associations about the number 4.

so i was thinking about the associations i have with the other numbers,
number 1 is the power and strength of one
number 2 is a pair (which i sometimes tend to avoid, but know also that it can be nice)
number 3 is body mind soul
number 5 is smiles and freedom
number 6 has a lot of power. i don't know that i fully understand the significance of 6, but i don't feel negative about it
number 7 is a lucky number
number 8 is infinity
number 9 is three times three, triple trinity--who can't win! and some people i like a lot really love nine and have it as their favorite number.

my favorite number has always been three