(WIKIPEDIA - )So I spent the evening over in Canada tonight. I had dinner over at Fallsview and just puttered around enjoying the roar of the falls. I'm posting my Falls Pics since everyone else seems to be doing it lately, Ha Ha





So (WIKIPEDIA - Ricky WIlliams) is now a Toronto Argonaught! I actually love the guy. We're about the same age and both had out bouts with shyness/social anxiety disorder. I never quite got into Yoga, but could. I just can generally relate to the being the quiet "weird" guy. It is just funny that he is now going to play in my "home and native land." Being from Hamilton he is playing for the arch rivals of my Hamilton Tiger Cats, but I can put that aside. I did when Raghib Ismail played for Toronto when he bailed on the NFL.

But the irony is just killing me. He is only playing up here because he violate the NFL drug police (Smoking Weed) and is suspended from the Dolphins for a year. Well Ricky Marijuana is ALMOST legal in Canada so we will just look at you as a Political Asylum Seeker. It is just in less than an hour you won't be able to smoke anything indoors in Ontario as the COMPLETE Smoking ban takes effect. You better be 9 meters away from the door after midnight.

When I was walking around Casino Niagara I was ALMOST tempted to smoke one last cigarette. Then I realized that I didn't want to smell or push the envelope of falling off the wagon. So I just walked through the place sucking in second hand smoke for the last time ever indoors in Ontario. Oh the memories of almost 10 years ago. When I was in the process of blowing my big money from the 90's sucking down a Export 'A' or whatever I smoked back then, maybe a Salem Ultra Light?

SO here is to Ricky Williams coming up to Canada to play football and smoke...but not indoors.

Went for a descent skate this afternoon. I just love the heat and to me there is nothing greater than the feeling you get when you come in out of the sun and just wash all of the salty slim off of your body in a hot shower.

I popped in the new Tool when I was blading and now it is finally growing on me. I skated by this house along the way to Old Fort Niagara where i did quite a few exploratory things when I was in High School. I was just realized that I was smoking herb and listening to Tool about 13 years ago at the house. Now I am just whizzing by with their latest CD from the mind of Maynard. Didn't care for it too much at first, now I just can't get enough of it.

Had dinner tonight with my Dad @ my place of employment.
The Italian Meal @ LA CASCATA. It was a descent meal, but I bit down on an olive pit in this garlic paste and it is just annoying the heck out of me right now. Hopefully it will just fade away. I have taken bigger chomps on bigger pits before.

If anyone would to Rollerblade or go for a descent walk on Wednesday let me know.

I had a intense conversation with a former fling on Friday and it really got me to analyze everything in what I was doing and how honest I am with my latest ex-girlfriend.

In my LJ I posted this:

"talked to a friend last night begging me to cut off
the relationship that i have with my ex-girlfriend. In
some ways she is right in the fact that we are not
going to get married or should not period. While at
the same time i am pathetic in being afraid to be
totally alone. It is just i really dislike having
people instruct me on my personal life. Then at the
same time, finding someone else at this juncture is a
pretty heavy task."

Now I guess in a big way I feel like she is a buffer zone for me. Someone that I call upon to do things at the last minute. For example she accompanied me on Friday night when I went to Fallsview Casino to see the "Turkish River Dance" set to the Greek legend of Pandora and Prometheus.






After the party last night I went and checked out my favorite cover band in the world, The Karma Police at the Brickyard in Lewiston. It was a blast, yea I really became drawn to the songs off of The Bends but the whole social interaction of people that I knew for years was just mind blowing. I even ran into my cousin's wife Cindy.

The condensed story is she really wanted to act life my girlfriend. We haven't been "together" since January. So I just didn't feel the connection to PDA in a bar full of people that I see once once in a long while.

She obviously is wanting a closer connection that we currently have, although she was the one that dumped me in the first place. It is just making me sad that although this is going to really hurt and suck for a while it may be the best for both of us to cut off seeing each other and put the pressure on ourselves to move along and find other people (Seriously, not the half hearted attempts to find a new S.O.)

It just kills me since I just don't want to go a year or so without even landing a date let along something more. Yea, thinking like that may be setting myself up for a self fulling prophecy, but I did go almost 2 years without......

So I make a deal and work a 7th day today. My relief never shows up and I'm there for another hour until they figured out what to do. So I get out of there at 12. I'm contemplating going out to a bar on 3rd street. I drive by and there are a few people out. Nothing special but nothing dead. I just come home and shy away from drinking from my crazy brethren.

I come home to an empty house. My Dad is not back from his Germany/Florida trip. He comes home at 2am. From my place of employment!!! At least he brought home some leftovers from La Cascata!!!

All I can say is I'm really exciting when my Dad is living it up and I'm home in front of the computer....

Yea after working for 7 days straight I think my mind went a little loopy. The most important thing out of this is I think finally after years of being stubborn I think I may be finally experiencing a breakthrough. On my 7th Day I went early to see my "shrink" on my last day and afternoon shift. Something he said to me actually got through for once. The state that I am in currently is a bit uncomfortable, but for the longest time I actually logically believed that I could not do anything about it. So I just stayed where I was stewed and festered. Being restless and uncomfortable but unable to move, but knowing with that there is so much more potential out there. I guess it would be like waking up during a surgery consciously aware but unable to move or communicate.

I don't feel that way today and hopefully it was stay and resonate through my life.

Going to pick up my new specs if I can get away from doing a productive endeavor at the moment. I will take a pic as soon as I can.

Just trying to figure out if the weather is going to cooperate for TATS.

At least I know what day is actually is today!

EDIT I'm going, heading up to the Square now. Yea a bit early but I have nothing better to do at the moment. No sense of working out right before the show. I'm going to be standing for 3 hours.