Ok, I'm over it already - thanks to the healing power of group therapy (I really should hit the "donate" button every time I post something longer than 1000 words - a sure sign I'll regret it later), and of course the unerring advice of Dr. Lurve [inlink]ajay,291[/inlink] and confidential support from various other (e:peeps).

I don't mind getting tossed back with or without explanation. But give me some hint before dragging me along as chum on your next fishing expedition. Maybe I'm just more sensitive about it having sweated over telling my music buddy I just saw us as platonic buds. Turns out we have a mutual friend in this class I just ditched, and she met my music bud through a local dating service. She's this really cool Irish chick, and the way she put it, she had to tell him she "didn't fancy him." I wish to hell I could pull off a phrase like that.

Everything I Own / Bread

::DOWNLOAD MEDIA::

You sheltered me from harm.
Kept me warm, kept me warm
You gave my life to me
Set me free, set me free
The finest years I ever knew
Were all the years I had with you

I would give anything I own,
Give up me life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own,
Just to have you back again.

You taught me how to love,
What it's of, what it's of.
You never said too much,
But still you showed the way,
And I knew from watching you.
Nobody else could ever know
The part of me that can't let go.

I would give anything I own,
Give up me life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again.

Is there someone you know,
You're loving them so,
But taking them all for granted.
You may lose them one day,
Someone takes them away,
And they don't hear the words you long to say

I would give anything I own,
Give up me life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again.


for Mom

SF Fetish Ball 2005http://www.sffetishball.com/
March 10-13

Kinksters Rejoice! The San Francisco Fetish Ball is now four years old, and the last three years were just a warm up for what's coming in 2005! No city embraces kink like San Francisco, so get ready for the most over-the-top pervy event in the world! As you read this, the SF Fetish Ball 2005 team is assembling a world-class lineup, and we mean world class! From London, New York, Boston, Los Angeles and, of course, San Francisco the most beautiful models, fabulous DJs, renowned performers, photographers, personalities, and many other glittering stars from the fetish firmament will be on hand to keep the party rockin' and shockin' all night long! You won't want to miss the 2005 San Francisco Fetish Ball! It's sure to be a night to remember -- one everybody will be talking about for years to come.

(e:j3sse) are you sure you can't come a few days earlier? You're gonna miss it!

What do you make of this?

A couple weeks ago I ended up with a spare ticket to Mission of Burma when my music buddy came down with the flu. So I posted on craigslist (under "platonic, women for men" for those of you into the nuances of CL search categories) looking for someone to take the other ticket. Since this story is all about nuances, I'll just copy the exact wording here so you can judge the rest for yourself.

Mission of Burma at Bimbo's Tonight - w4m
I've got two tickets for Mission of Burma tonight and my friend can't go. Anybody interested in buying the second ticket and possibly hanging out at the show? Otherwise I'll be selling it at the door. Sorry this isn't more enticing - just feeling practical at the moment. Although I would love to meet someone with similar musical interests - alt 80s, Franz Ferdinand, Postal Service / Death Cab for Cutie... you know, like that.

So I get a couple responses but end up selling the ticket at the door and going alone anyway. BUT, a few days later, I get another response from this guy who I just went out with for the second time last night (forget I ever used the word "date" in the title - you decide). His email:

If you are not too busy sorting out your craigslist responses, let's hang out without any pressure but meeting a somebody new. How was the Mission of Burma show? They were amazing last year at the Fillmore. By chance would you be interested in meeting for some other live music sometime? My 50-60 hour week leaves me only a couple nights free to make the most out of it which usually is checking out the local music scene. Whenever our schedules mesh maybe we can meet and check out some cool bars with live music along Polk Street. If one is terrible, there are a bunch of other venues we could move on to like the Hemlock, Edinburgh Castle, Kimo's or Red Devil Lounge which is all within walking distance. On Mondays, the Red Devil Lounge has an art, film and music show.

Sounds good to me, so we plan to get something to eat and see Every Move A Picture at the Rickshaw Stop last Friday. I maybe jump the gun by telling him about my journal (on west, never on east) and when he sees I went to the Sci-Fi movie thing in Boston he emails me that he won two tickets for "It Came From Outer Space" in 3D at the Red Vic and wondered if I wanted to fit that in between dinner and the show. Sounding better all the time.

So we do all that and it was really fun. Met a bunch of his friends at the Rickshaw stop and I can see why he's looking for somebody to hang out with since they're all paired off. Turns out he met them all through craigslist.

The next day I email him saying, "Hey Ed. That was fun last night. Thanks. -Lisa." He responds:

Hi L-

Anytime. I'm heading to the Bottom of the Hill tonight for Polkacide if you can handle more ear stress. The show is only $5 and starts at 10pm. Otherwise there's always more shows approaching.

-E

I decline, but make a mental note that we apparently are now on a first initial basis.

On Monday he emails me saying, "If you're free later this week, here's some shows I'm thinking of checking out" with links to shows on Thurs, Fri and Sat. I was already booked to see the Futureheads on Thursday and some friends are having a party in Alameda Saturday (tonight) after the all-day class I think I'm about to blow-off. So I tell him I'd be up for the Friday show if he decides to go to that. He tells me where he'll be Thursday night if the Futureheads get out early and I want to join him, and says "For Friday, I'll see who's interested in catching The Creature From the Black Lagoon in 3D, food and Birdmonster."

On Friday we switch it to a different band but otherwise the evening starts as planned. We grab a comfy spot in the bench seating section at the Red Vic. I ask him if anybody else is coming for the movie, he says no but a friend might be coming for dinner and the show.

After the movie I stop for cash and he phones the friend to talk her through how to get to us. He doesn't say much about the friend, but I thought he referred to her as "Karen" - one of the friends I met the previous Friday. Turns out he said "Erin" but I'm not thinking much of it at this point.

She's about 30 minutes away so he looks at me for the ok as he tells her we'll be at Amoeba Records until she gets there. I'm thinking this couldn't get any better in the basic compatibility department.

We hit the racks at Amoeba and each come out with 1/2 dozen discs and start heading down to Ben & Jerry's which is where it turns out we're meeting "Erin not Karen." At this point I know it's not Karen, but I don't know if it's Aaron or Erin and I'm still not thinking much of it. (Sorry for the big build up - I'll just tell you right now this wasn't a set-up for a 3-way or anything like that. At least not so far. So if you're looking for a big pay-off you can stop reading right now.)

So Erin and Ed meet for the first time and introductions are made all around. I'm still not sure who posted for what, but it turns out this is another craigslist conquest. (Ok, "conquest" is editorializing, but it sounds good. Take it with a grain of salt.)

Finally at this point I'm thinking, "what the hell is going on?" and also rethinking my earlier wardrobe adjustment in deference to decorum in light of Erin's more provocative choice for this first encounter.

For the record, I would say a strict reading of all negotiations up to this point certainly did not implicitly or explicitly exclude whatever was going on. Still, I was left feeling out of the loop to say the least.

Here's my take on it.

1) I think he should have told me in advance someone he was meeting for the first time would be joining us. I mean, that goes without saying, right? If it was someone he knew and had an established relationship with, that would be different.

2) Backpedaling to this wasn't a date in the first place, I still think it's fair to say we were deciding if it was heading in that direction. (You'll have to take my judgment on that since this is already way too long to start explaining what makes me think that.) In my opinion, you make that decision before bringing another dating candidate into the picture. Or, make darn sure the other person is ok with an open casting call, and any other open activities you have in mind.

So I'm wondering whether I'm 1) overreacting, 2) going too easy on the guy, or 3) nailed it. Just for point of reference I'd like to nail it. Granted the whole craigslist scene in the Bay area may be worlds apart from Buffalo. I'm still trying to figure that one out myself.

Ok, I think I've thoroughly exhausted this topic.

Freelance Writer/Blogger Needed - eHomeUpgrade.com

Ok, it's only $5/entry, 3-5 posts/day, but that would buy a lot of Palak Paneer plus a little something to wash it down. Also, they mention "Freebies: gadgets, memberships, trials, trade show/press event invites, etc." as a fringe benefit.