if you find yourself caught in love,
say a prayer to the man above,
thank him for everything you know,
you should thank him for every breath you blow,
if you find yourself caught in love,
say a prayer to the man above,
thank him for every day you pass,
you should thank him for saving your sorry ass.

--belle and sebastian

gemini:

don't stay in today! while walking, you will catch sight of a rotten tomato, which will then become allegorical for you. you will realize the transitory, fleeting aspect of this thing called life, and that someday we're all worm food in the end. you will make attempts to become just as juicy and satisfying as that tomato was in its prime.

saggitarius:

the stars have it in for you, saggy baby! you will encounter the devil in the form of a tea leaf, floating around the bottom of (what else?) your teacup. he will proclaim in a booming voice only you can hear, that you were not meant to wear those socks today. he will arrange it so that your favorite possession will be taken away if you don't take them off immediately. so either don't drink tea, or don't wear socks today. the stars will allow you to choose in this instance.

libra:

strangely, six virgins will offer themselves to you today. unfortunately, you won't get the message, for reasons too numerous (and complicated, starswise!) to list. so sorry.

taurus:

you are beautiful, in every single way. no, words can't bring you down. you are beautiful, no matter what they say. no words can't bring you down. no, no. so don't you bring me down today.

capricorn:

hey cap, when's the last time you asked yourself: what are a few of my favorite things? somehow you've forgotten that bathing in custard or belting it out barbara (striesand, who else?) style used to be a crucial part of your emotional health. let go, capri! let the stars......

dear ob/gyn:
please write me a descriptive essay of just what goes through your mind as you deliver a child.

dear artist:
how does average, boring life factor into your thoughts?

dear old lady:
what is the thing you want most to remember?

dear so-and-so, walking down the street:
tell me something that will make us both smile.






asking these questions is what i want my life to be like.

i didn't want to look outside,
and so i looked on the internet for 'spring scenes'
this is what i found right away!
what a breath.......

if you have money
you can buy the good soap
the kind that is viscous liquid
it smells like the company's
rendition of 'spring breeze'
but to me it smells like fake watermelon
and makes me want a ring pop
it's the only difference
from the cheap kinds--
they work just as well
but it would be so gross,
an ivory flavored ring pop
no, no ivory flavored ring pop.