While watching the slow exectuion, she had recalled an old story of a prophet who at one point in his caeer was met by an angel who cut him open from throat to groin. The angel then washed the propet's heart with holy water, and filled it with gems symbolizing knowledge and faith. She had thought, absratcly, Wouldn't we all like to imagine that we are so within, filled with valuable, beautiful and indestructible things, not this vulnerable and stinking offal?

-a quote from some random novel I'm reading. Good though, right? Who wouldn't let the angel slice them open to replace the stinking mass that is our flesh? To be replaced by some irrefutable holiness. Some truth? Of course you wonder, whether truth is what we really desire, or just some kind of truth to make us feel better about the stinking bag of flesh we are.

Hey!

Look at this neat picture of our planet...


Oh America. Seeing you and being happy, but so not happy. Knowing your truth and seeing our truth. The truth of those with power and those without. Lights symbolising eternity, the gems we hope to find within our bodies, our souls. Does light really symbolize that which is desired, don't we all want a little darkness, a little fun? Give me back my rainforests. Take your fucking light. I don't need it anymore.





Oh, how the white world shines. Obviously, exhibting our divine glory. Oh the benefit of whiteness, so close to GOD!

[inlink]lisa,53[/inlink] DDR Party!!!!

Ridiculous as it is, I am an avid DDRer. I am using it as a kinda workout device. It really gets you sweatin. Like really, I'm dripping after an hour. I am getting pretty good now. I can do the Standard mode but not Heavy. I think you might need to be Asian to do the hardest ones. So Lisa you have to come over, or I need to go over there (you even have fancy nailed-down(?) pads). Left Right Right Up Up Up Down Left Right...

I'm perplexed by the people who drive down to the waterfront along the lake and then sit there in their cars. Half of them leave them turned on and some don't even roll down the windows. It's so strange to have the desire to see the beauty of the lake and then not get out of your car to really enjoy it. My theory is that people are so used to enjoying sights through frames (TV-screens, computer monitors, etc.) that they don't understand that there is more than a purely visual sensation to be had. There's the wind through your hair, the cawing of the gulls, the smell of river mush. Yet as I ride by the people sit there, half not even bothering to look out the window, some just asleep. Get out of the freakin car, at least go sit on a bench. Why not try walking or biking there in the first place? I feel sorry for them. I wanna knock on their windows and tell them to get out of their box and enjoy the air.

Isn't life just amazing. I love it so much, and at the same time I am puzzled, by my love and my life. Why? The eternal question. The answer lies in the question. It's not about why it's about living. It's not about ends but means. The process is the only succes you can have. You can't ever reach the end goal, heck that's what religion is all about, reassurance that though you'll never find the end it's still out there. Science, in that respect, is similar, describing things that we perhaps may never witness but whose very theoretical existence drives us on.

Look. There are no answers. At least none that won't lead to many more questions. What are you looking for anyway. Happiness, love, contentment, adventure? The trick is that every moment is filled with all of these, and more! So maybe the goal isn't finding them, but letting them find their fruition in every possibility. Garbage, you say, you've got to have goals, everything isn't equal, there are such things as good and bad. And yes, opinions do matter. But they're so very fleeting, who can have an opinion for more than a while before it starts changing right beneath their meta-fingertips.

People call me capricious, as if that were a bad thing. As if it was a character flaw that my views are constantly in flux. I tarry on ideas and make them my own, and then before I know it they've morphed, as if with a life of their own, into other concepts. Sometimes I have stored in me completely conflicting ideas that I cling to, knowing that somehow they both make sense but that I haven't quite figured out how they coexist. But I abstain from letting them cancel each other out into some distorted average. The clue will come, that tidbit of knowledge or experience that will allow me to glue the tattered peices into the jigsaw puzzle of reality.

The tapestry is complex and writhes beneath my fingers. Sometimes I lose sight of most of it, intently staring at one singular wonder. Other times the pure vastness of it overwhelms me, I can't see the individual threads. I'm caught up in the overwhelming beauty of the whole. The shining wonder of existence, of being, of scale, pattern, and wholeness. What more is there? We live, we think, we make sense of our environment, that's life (with lots of eating/sleeping/fucking/working in between).

So just relax and break a little wind.

-sidenote: [inlink]robin,205[/inlink] biking is the best (and I really do know tons of cool trails), let's go for a ride.

-sidenote2: [inlink]jill,113[/inlink] Ayn Rand definately has a philosophy. Unfortunately it's kind of twisted and fucked up (yet somehow appealing). Go ahead and read her but make sure you've got lots of questions for her supposed answers.

First off, goodbye Bidgette, moving on to fairer pastures. I wish you godspeed and clear skies, with a dash of sparkling blue ocean! Bon Voyage!

Hey MK! [inlink]mk,97[/inlink]

The DaVinci code is pretty good. I try not to read too many bestsellers, cuz they're usually cheesy, but it was worth it, if only for the neat concept. I borrowed it from Maria (paul and mike's mom) and still have it, so if you wanna ask her I'm sure she'd be happy to lend it to you (I think it's been at my house for half a year or so now, so she obviously doesn't miss it much). Snow Falling on Cedars was good too (I read it in 11th grade so it's a bit foggy now). It is a murder-mystery but also involves the detention of Japanese during WWII and is a pretty powerful reminder of the atrocities even we "civilized" people can commit in the name of national security.

Maidencateyes [inlink]maidencateyes,38[/inlink] is right though, that the libraries have all of these books and you can get them for a month and a half at a time. Support the libraries! They're also really good about requests. You just go to their website search the catalog and hit request and you can pick them up from the nearest library. If you haven't already, you just have to get a PIN number to use the service (also available through the website).

I love to sing!