I love flowers all flowers. Most women do. And like most women, I am particularly fond of roses. Today, one of my co-workers, who is in the throws of a new romance with a man that she actually met at Pleasure Island in Disney World (Who knew?) received roses, beautiful red roses. Although cliche, still soul achingly lovely. I'm happy for her, genuinely happy but it still stings as I have never had anyone send me roses. And so, I will wallow, just for a little while longer in my roses pity party.
Springfaerie's Journal
My Podcast Link
06/18/2004 17:08 #34919
Roses pity party06/18/2004 13:39 #34918
And on to the rest...I work in a bank. It's sort of a strange place for me to work given as I have no head for numbers, am a terrible multitasker, and I'm just generally the "creative type." I'm a bit off the wall. Often, someone will say something, and then a minute later, I will say something else that seems totally unrelated. Then, they give me the "Where the hell did that come from?" look and I have to explain the chain reaction that occurred in my head to get from what they originally said to where I came up with the "strange" statement. Then the other party inevitably says, "Oh." but I don't think they feel any better about my explanation.
And after that HUGE digression, I will resume my point... which is why I like my job at the bank. I have the unglorious job of bankteller. I work in my home town, in the bank that I have been going to since I was 18. Needless to say, to get hired there 8 years later was strange. But what makes it strange is that I already knew everyone, my fellow tellers and the customers. I see high school teachers that have since retired. (It is sad to me to see their somewhat disappointed looks on there faces when they see that this is what I am doing now. It's not forever,just for now.) I see my dad, my brothers, all of their friends, and prior to her death, my grandmother. (I think I would faint if I saw her walk through the door! I believe in ghosts but I don't want to see any!) One of my favourite things is the old men who come in and flirt with us. Like Trisha said when she and I were at her grandfather's Legion post, "There's nothing like old men to make a girl feel young and hot!" I don't like the stress. Working with large amounts of money is not exactly a relaxing work environment. But as I said it is for now, not forever. Does anyone really know what they want to do forever? Can you believe that they actually expect us to have it figued out by the time we're 20? That just seems so wrong!
And after that HUGE digression, I will resume my point... which is why I like my job at the bank. I have the unglorious job of bankteller. I work in my home town, in the bank that I have been going to since I was 18. Needless to say, to get hired there 8 years later was strange. But what makes it strange is that I already knew everyone, my fellow tellers and the customers. I see high school teachers that have since retired. (It is sad to me to see their somewhat disappointed looks on there faces when they see that this is what I am doing now. It's not forever,just for now.) I see my dad, my brothers, all of their friends, and prior to her death, my grandmother. (I think I would faint if I saw her walk through the door! I believe in ghosts but I don't want to see any!) One of my favourite things is the old men who come in and flirt with us. Like Trisha said when she and I were at her grandfather's Legion post, "There's nothing like old men to make a girl feel young and hot!" I don't like the stress. Working with large amounts of money is not exactly a relaxing work environment. But as I said it is for now, not forever. Does anyone really know what they want to do forever? Can you believe that they actually expect us to have it figued out by the time we're 20? That just seems so wrong!
06/18/2004 12:06 #34917
fascinationI have to admit that I am fascinated by "Stickboy's" entries. Who is this enigma? I can't help but wonder.
06/17/2004 13:56 #34916
My "Things I Haven't Done Yet" listI have to admit that my favourite journals to read on Elwoodstrip.com are TK's, because they're hilarious and honest, and Trish's, because she is my best friend and I love her quirkiness. Saying that, I have to ask, Trish, You actually WANT to grow a third nipple? Like Crusty the Clown?
I loved the idea of the "things I have never done list" but mine would be, I hate to say it, kind of sad. What do you expect from the non-sexual, good girl!?
Screw it. Here goes anyways.
1. Bungee chord jump, possibly from a hot air
balloon.
2. Watch the sun set over Paris
3. Have one of my novels published
4. Dance naked in the moonlight
5. Have sex that makes my mind want to explode
6. Sing Ella Fitzgerald tunes with a jazz band
7. Tell The Boy how I REALLY feel
8. Gain my independence
9. Finish the books that I've started, put down,
and never ended.
10. Be out of debt.
I don't really care the order I accomplish this list, but I think that they are all do-able, many in the not so distant future. Wish me luck!
I loved the idea of the "things I have never done list" but mine would be, I hate to say it, kind of sad. What do you expect from the non-sexual, good girl!?
Screw it. Here goes anyways.
1. Bungee chord jump, possibly from a hot air
balloon.
2. Watch the sun set over Paris
3. Have one of my novels published
4. Dance naked in the moonlight
5. Have sex that makes my mind want to explode
6. Sing Ella Fitzgerald tunes with a jazz band
7. Tell The Boy how I REALLY feel
8. Gain my independence
9. Finish the books that I've started, put down,
and never ended.
10. Be out of debt.
I don't really care the order I accomplish this list, but I think that they are all do-able, many in the not so distant future. Wish me luck!
06/16/2004 12:08 #34915
Re-Reading the PastI always find it very enlightening to re-read my journal entries, or stories, or little notes that I write in the margins of notebooks when I'm bored. It's like a snapshot into my own mind, a time and place and frame of thought that I won't be in again. Last summer, I was living in NYC. Well, the apartment I was living in was in Astoria and I worked at the Disney Store on 5th Ave., if we're being technical. It was, emotionally and mentally and spiritually, a rough summer. It was the first time I had ever lived with someone outside of my family, and she is a very good friend, but it was rough because I tried very, very hard to be ultra-courteous and aware of her feelings and she didn't really care about mine. I was re-reading the journal entries that I had written. They ran roughly from my arrival there in the middle of May and stopped at the end on July, when my sanity started to return. I can actually read myself turning from sane and happy and excited to angry, embittered and on the edge of my sanity. In short, I was losing it. And strangely enough, or not really for me, I finally began to get balanced when I started going to church. *The good thing about being an Episcopalian who attends St. Paul's Cathedral and then relocates to NYC is that Trinity Wall Street is so very like home. They even SMELL the same!*
All in all it was a good, growing experience for me. I had to do it. I had to go. I still love NYC. It's a great place to visit but the only way I would live there again is if I made a hell of a lot more money.
When I re-read that particular journal, incomplete though it is, I remember the truth, not some rose-tinted version of it. I think the hardest thing for me to recall when I do re-visit that time not so long ago is not that I nearly lost my mind, but that I was so very needy. It's hard for a fiercely independent person to confront aspects of themselves that they don't admit even exists.
And so, another chapter closes. I have to admit, I never know how to end these things. End.
All in all it was a good, growing experience for me. I had to do it. I had to go. I still love NYC. It's a great place to visit but the only way I would live there again is if I made a hell of a lot more money.
When I re-read that particular journal, incomplete though it is, I remember the truth, not some rose-tinted version of it. I think the hardest thing for me to recall when I do re-visit that time not so long ago is not that I nearly lost my mind, but that I was so very needy. It's hard for a fiercely independent person to confront aspects of themselves that they don't admit even exists.
And so, another chapter closes. I have to admit, I never know how to end these things. End.