Troma protestor rehearsal for Poultrygeist ( ) today was just down the street from P:Labs ((e:paul)), in the basement of the Linwood Street Church of Christ? (I might be wrong -- I get all the churches mixed up anyway; it was Protestant.) How cool is that -- Troma taking over a church. I think we should give them a zone grant...

The church HQ is the rain location, which suXXorz big time. It is so much hotter in the basement of that church. But what a wacky assortment of people and things going on in there. (e:Paul), (e:Terry), and (e:Matthew) don't even know what total freaking wackiness is going on in their backyard... I got so sweaty protesting (er, rehearsing the protest, and the big musical chorus scene) that I was completely soaked. I mean, completely. It was terrible. I bolted right away, but I'm still contemplating whether or not I want to go ALL THE WAY and become a zombie chicken in the movie. On the positive side is that I would get to be mowed down and have squibs planted on me -- I've never done a machine-gun death before. On the negative side is that I seriously sweat so much that I don't know if the prosthetic zombie chicken beak would stick. Seriously. I've sweat so much this week that I'm beginning to slough my own skin...

Anyway, it was fun. And hot.

Thanks to the work that (e:paul) and I have put in on a new moblog, I've posted up some media from the rehearsal. Paul's new P:Mobl system is amazing -- it just sits there checking the mail and putting whatever comes in wherever it is supposed to go. I've built our moblog (http://www.shawnrider.com/moblog) to run from Paul's. Hopefully we can get my stuff into some shape comparable to Paul's stuff, and together we'll have a pretty badass moblog system. At least for users of T-Mobile. I'm sure other systems could be adapted in the future -- that's what Paul is all about, of course.

Paul tells me that he'll be adding moblog functions like these to estrip soon. I definitely hope he does. I think that half the reason people don't use their phones for media and communications is that they don't know it's so easy to do or so fun and accessible. I mean, who is going to invest in a data cable to get phonecam pix off their phone? And who is going to set up a badass moblog system on their own? (e:paul) haha Of COURSE!

Anyway, check out the new moblog (http://www.shawnrider.com/moblog) and vote estrip (http://www.artvoice.com).

This year the Best of Buffalo Readers' Choice ballot is online and easier to fill out. We've also added fun new cateogories to vote for, and great prizes for a lucky winner who votes for at least 20 categories!Quoted from: Artvoice.com - Best Of Buffalo

OK, people, we need to get Elmwoodstrip.com for best Buffalo blog and Natalie's Deli for best deli/rest/mediterranean/veggie friendly/ etc. on the list. Estrip is new-ish, so I can sort of forgive AV for not including it in previous years (did they even have a blog category before?), but Natalie's has been here longer than I have and they are an amazing place to eat. Regardless of how you feel about Mediterranean food, hopefully we can all agree that EStrip is the best. Otherwise, why would you be here?

There are over 200 of us on the site. If we pull together we can easily win this for Elmwoodstrip.com. So let's keep things clean (no stuffing ballot boxes), but let's win this thing:

Vote Elmwoodstrip.com for Best Buffalo Blog!

Troma films is shooting their new zombie musical, Poultrygeist, here in Buffalo, on Bailey at the Old MacDonald's rest (it's just a little ways north of Amherst street if I'm thinking of the right one -- how many old MacD's are on Bailey?). That is right around the corner. The film is also supposed to be an homage to Takashi Miike, and I imagine they're referring to his wacked out gore-splattered musical The Happiness of the Katakuris, which is, well, totally fucked up. Anyway, here's a quote from the website. They're looking for loads of extras and helpers in Buffalo. I can't pass up what could be the only chance I get to be in a Troma film. Who's with me?

"Poultrygeist: Attack of the Chicken Zombies!, a fromage to Takashi Miike, is the next planned offering in Troma Entertainment's thirty-plus-years-long tradition of wildly successful low-budget, high-concept, one-of-a-kind cinematic creations designed to satisfy the hunger for reel entertainment.

Poultrygeist! will be directed by Lloyd Kaufman, creator of The Toxic Avenger, and will go into production in July 2005. Casting is underway in NYC, and the movie will be filmed on location in Buffalo, New York" -- PoultrygeistMovie.com

(e:terry) bravely made us Lupper on Thursday, the hottest day in Buffalo for all of the three years I've been here. Seriously. They wrote about it in the News. And this was the driest May in like 30 years or something insane like that. (e:julie) noticed the heat, too [inlink]julie,99[/inlink]. And my dogs and dogs are similarly pooped.

But for a Pac NorthWest kind of guy, I'm so missing my rainy spring and wet, cold June. I feel totally ripped off. The last couple years in Buffalo led me to believe I could hope for lots of rain in the Spring, at least a bit of goodness before the hell of summer weather. But nope -- stupid, stupid sunshine. I hate it. I get my 15 minutes a day to generate vitamin D, and that's plenty for me.

I get a sunburn in about 30 minutes in the sun. I was on lots of accutane as a child, and I think it killed off all the melonin producing cells in my body. Now I'm just a pale, hairy, short guy who sweats a lot. A LOT. Like, if you meet me, you'll be like, wow, shawn sweats a lot. I was so happy to see that (e:) Terry, also a native dry-heat westerner, sweats a lot, too, in Buffalo. But I think I sweat more than him. How could one measure that sort of thing?

If I get to stay in Buffalo, it has to be central air. I'll make my own little virtual environment. I'll let Sarah keep it at 75. But no more...

Uncyclopedia.org (http://www.uncyclopedia.org) is the opposite of Wikipedia (http://www.wikipedia.org):

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.

Full of humorous stuff contributed by all kinds of regular folks, I just chose a chunk of the featured article for Today, "You have two cows." I've seen these jokes in many different forms, but never catalogued together like this. Fun stuff. Here's a sample form the Literature section:

1984
You have two cows. Your neighbour has two cows. Together you have five cows. Your child reveal that to the government and one day they come and take your cows. You have never had any cows. You love big brother.

Animal Farm
You have two cows. Two cows bad. Four cows good. (Comrade Napoleon is always right.)

A different Animal Farm
You have two cows and you fuck them on video. Unless you live in the U.S. Deep South this is probably illegal. Makes you wonder why it's called the Deep South though...

Russia
You have two coups.

Two cows have you!

Paranoia RPG
Aren't you happy that Friend Computer gave you two cows, citizen?

What's that, citizen? The cows trampled you? They must have known you are a commie mutant traitor!

COBRA Master plan
The Joes have two cows. You steal the cows and attempt to crossbreed them with a snake to produce the milk-producing cowbra. The Joes discover your ridiculous plot and after causing several million dollars worth of damage to your private army retire to their base to drink Yo Joe! Cola and swap an amusing anecdote. Baroness Thatcher steals the milk anyway and makes the children cry.

Shakespeare
Two cows or not two cows? That is the question.
Quoted from: You have two cows - Uncyclopedia