So this is what our 'justice' system has come to. Throwing little old ladies into the Holding Center for 15 days for feeding deer.

Feeding deer. Not actually calling them over and hand feeding them, but just dropping corn kernels on the ground for the deer to find.

That's 15 days in an unsanitary, unsafe, and overcrowded jail, for feeding deer. Her last stay in jail was just one night, but 15 days is another thing altogether.

What a clear and present menace to society she is! Walking around Stieglmaier (sic) park with her little wagon, and dropping corn kernels on the ground. A person acting that dangerous clearly needs to be locked up.

I am going to write my State Senator and see if we can't come up with a more appropriate punishment, say chopping off both her hands so that she will be physically unable to feed deer in the future. Or perhaps they can ban her from living within 1,500 yards of deer or their excrement. Or better yet, argue that she is a mass murderer by her contribution to deer deaths, and send her to Dannemora Correctional Facility to be put to death.

Puh....lease.

If the ignorant justices in Cheektowaga were remotely aware of the fact that the NYS legislature has a bill under current consideration to repeal the ban on feeding deer, they might have exercised judicial discretion and taken that into consideration. Anita was proven guilty of a violation (not a misdemeanor nor felony) that carries as punishment NO mandatory minimum sentence.

So why did they lock her up? Well it is fairly simple. Retribution, plain and simple. Retribution is not justice, contrary to what many people think. She appealed her case to higher authorities than the dolts running the Cheektowaga legal dog and pony show, and they were pissed because of this. So when she lost her appeal and was remanded back to their kangaroo court for final sentencing, they HAD to lock her up for the full maximum term, or they would look to be soft on deer crime, as the deer lobby very heavily these days in Albany.

Why anyone that has committed a non-violent crime and has no violent tendencies deserves to be locked up is beyond me. There are plenty of ways to punish non-violent criminals that do not involve incarceration at taxpayer and (more importantly) human expense.

One day, reason and common sense will hopefully invade the 'justice' system and design it in a more rational manner. Fyodor Dostoyevsky said that "The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons".

Civilization indeed.

Never once in the 35-1/2 years in my existence have I ever deliberately gone shopping on the day after Thanksgiving, let alone pre-plan my precise early morning consumer offensive on the local retail establishments. I normally park my kiester on the couch and watch football, and laugh at those who battle other zealous shoppers for parking spaces, shopping carts, and the newest hippest 'must-have' gifties for the holiday season.

So what gives? Am I getting soft in my old age? Some bizarre chemical imbalance?

I should be so lucky. No ladies and gents, my motivation to go to bed far too early tonight in order to get up far too early tomorrow to shop is quite simple, now that I reflect upon things.

DVD's. Digital Video Discs. These are my Achilles heel. You see, I am obsessed with movies. OBSESSED. Two years ago I would have given you many reasons why VHS tapes were superior to DVD's. My viewpoint dramatically changed when my curmudgeonly self actually watched 'Easy Rider' on DVD at my buddy's house.

Easy Rider is one of the best movies ever made, if not the best. Great music, wonderful imagery, talented young actors, and of course the whole counter-culture vibe going on. It is one thing to watch this movie on VHS, and entirely another thing to watch it on DVD. The DVD offers up some priceless commentary by Dennis Hopper, which adds so much more meaning to the movie. Who would have ever guessed that during the shooting of this great movie the cast and crew went through (i.e. smoked) an entire kilogram of marijuana? Enquiring movie minds want to know priceless facts such as this.

I am unabashedly and unapologetically addicted to DVD movies. And all the great sales tomorrow on many of my desired DVD's is what will be motivating my to break my long-standing tradition of not shopping the day after Thanksgiving.

Accordingly, I will arise tomorrow morning at the ungodly hour of 4 a.m., take a shower, and then hit the road. If all goes well, I will be home by 10 a.m. fully loaded down with oodles and oodles of movies, and then I will go into seclusion for the next three days while I watch them all and commit to memory the bonus features and commentary.

Happy Holidays to one and all! And to all a good night!

I am a bread connoisseur. I love all things about bread. Organic milled flour, unique starters, and stone baking ovens to name a few.

My favorite local bakery of all time was Flour Power on Elmwood, where the current location of Spot Coffee and New World Record is now.

The best money I have ever spent is getting a true 5-pound loaf of French sourdough bread here overnight from the bakery. I will be doing this in the near future again.

So in my quest to find a local bakery who could offer up an equal experience for a 5-pound French sourdough Miche bread, I found Panera Bread in Amherst.

Upon entering this fine establishment, I was enthralled at their display. I thought that 'yes, I found a store who can give me true French sourdough'.

Negative. I asked for a 'miche' which means a full 5 pound loaf of bread, and initially I thought I did receive just that. The display 'miche' loaf was truly artisan, and was full size.

However, the weak ass loaf that I received was a half loaf, and not even sourdough.

Panera Bread, I love your store and your facilities, but PLEASE offer up a true sourdough French bread.

My current lease is up in March of 2006, and I really am thinking about moving back into Buffalo proper, maybe in the University Heights district or somewhere on Delaware Avenue.

Don't get me wrong, I love North Tonawanda on many levels. My Great Grandpa came over from the Old Country (Russia) and he landed here in NT and found good paying work in the lumber industry. I wish I could have met him, although he died just after I was born.

Here in NT we have glorious bicycle paths, endless boating access and docks, and pretty much everything that a single man could ask for.

So what inspired me to consider moving into Buffalo proper? Glad you asked, friend!

I met a girl on the Buffalo Craigslist. No, really! Anyway, to make the long story tolerable, we met at The Spot on Elmwood for coffee, and later we adjourned to the adjacent New World Record.

That was the defining moment for me. I asked myself why I was living in North Tonawanda when my heart and interests clearly were lying in Buffalo. And, more importantly, why was I responding to a Craigslist personal ad to begin with?

So this is my current quest. I will be saving up first and last month's rent, along with security deposit, and next January I will be shopping for nice bachelor apartments.

Go me, oh to live on Sugar Mountain, and most importantly peace on earth!

Geoffrey

I am normally very good about keeping my email Inbox free of spam, but for the last couple of days I have had NO incoming email. We are talking zip, zero, nada. The actual equation in the most base mathematical format is as follows:

Total incoming email for me = the derivative of a constant

Normally I am good for a couple of emalis promising to make my manhood larger or introducing me to the newest work at home opportunity that guarantees me a six figure plus income stuffing envelopes, but the current Inbox atmosphere leads me to believe that something else might be amiss.

I checked my email account settings and saw no problems. Tested the network settings and everything came out, in the words of the prophet David Byrne, 'same as it ever was'.

So what's the problem?

I suspect my email Inbox has been hijacked by jack-booted thugs who like to break wind on purpose. Real nasty, foul, and biohazard level wind, at that. You know the type. Those people who slam down four to six pickled eggs before heading home after a long night of drinking Genny Cream Ale Pounders, or worse yet, draft pints! These cowards are not the typical comedic 'pull my finger' types. These scum really want you to become an inhaler of their foul flatus. They break wind as a status symbol, and they have no respect for common decency or any sense of restraint.

These smelly upstarts figger (sic) that if they can pollute one's Inbox with their frequent methaneous anal discharges that they can take over your entire cosmos, which is in fact the opposite of the truth.

Damn you, Inbox farter! Although I do not like spam I do rely at times upon it to keep me company, so please break your disgusting and polluting wind elsewhere.

Kind Regards,

Shakey