I kept telling people in Georgia about Steve's FBI trouble. I told my Mom and sister he's been building anthrax simulates to study for a book he was gonna write and they got freaked out and sided with the old govt. Ignorance is terrorism. People with less fear in their hearts just thinks it's sad.
I'm sad for myself. I know it's selfish but I was looking forward to Steve being around this summer and now, even if he is around, and I hope he is, ittle be weird cause what can I do to help? I'm not a therapist or even very sensitive. I'm about to become a part time flower waterer? I wish I were the governor of NY or something then I might have some power or prestige or something stupid like that.

My week long trip is over.
This morning I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend's roommate coming into their apartment. Andy crawled out of our twin bed and gave the guy his car keys. I was in my "I'm having a girl moment ... get lost" shirt, which Andy found very attractive for some reason. I was sweaty smelling like a human being.
I got up fixed my self a glass of water and smoked a cigarette. Then I crawled back into the bed with Andy. After that we both got out of bed and went into the living room and made our various phone calls. Andy is looking for a new place to live right now.
His future roommate, Ben, came over and we all went to eat at the Majestic and I smoked a gillizion cigarettes inside that place. Then Ben took me by the contemporary to drop off a tape to Mary and Satan was there and he asked if he could touch my breast. I said no and went back to the car where Ben and Andy were waiting. They dumped me out at the MARTA station.
While on the train I became mesmerized. The power lines were bobbing up and down against a bright blue sky with puffy white clouds as I was flying on wheels. I searched below my breast to make sure I didn't have sweat marks from the humid heat combined with carrying heavy bags on heels. I just barely made it onto my stand by flight at 5 PM.
The flight got into buffalo at 7PM and I knew I was home as we dropped through the clouds into a chilled, gray, and drizzly environment. Soyeon was waiting for me and she rambled on about a million things to do and I realized that my pace is a bit different from my time down south.

I've been reading short stories by Joyce Carol Oates. I've been curious about her writing since I video taped the talk at UB. She's a great writer, I suspected I would feel this way about her work. My Mom bought me, Faithless, a book of short stories by Oates. I've been going right through it. There is something comforting about her storytelling as depressing as it is. She set's a lot of the stories in small towns around Buffalo. Damn they're good but heavy I had to take a break from them.
I had a great day yesterday. I baby-sat Kiah for a long time, then went to eat with my family to celebrate my mom's retirement, and then I drove with my sister to Atlanta for a night on the town. I was wearing a low cut shirt, the Jesse shoes, and a blue jean mini skirt my Mom got me at Walmart the day before. I've never felt so sexy and virile in Walmart clothing ever before.
Well, Lori and I stopped by Andy's and picked him up and made him be out designated driver. Then we went out to a couple bars. Buffalo kicks Atlanta's ass as far as bars go but my sister loves to drink so we went out anyway but the bars close at 2!!! This is new it used to be 4. So at two we stopped by the gas station got more beer and headed back to Andy's and got baked.
I had the giggles. I kept reminiscing with Lori about our small town upbringing. We started talking about the big town festival, which as a child I pronounced Festabull. Andy made lots of fun of that with his straw chewing hillbilly impersonation. Eventually we all got tired and went to sleep, my sister on the futon and me with Andy.
Andy tried on my panties. He looked great in them. They were white cotton Grannie panties (very similar to manties), also a recent Walmart purchase. He really did fill them out nicely though, maybe I just admired it because he had a semi hard on and he has a lovely Dick. Whatever the case we ended up making love a few times, and I call it making love because in the middle of it he repeatedly told me "I love you, I love you" and so on. I didn't say it back I just giggled, I think. We had some good sex, I think I've got my mojo back.
We all got up around 11. We went to taco bell and then to the salvation army. Andy bought my clothes, that sucka, I got a orangeish polyester blazer and some jeans that fit like a glove. After that me and Lori dumped Andy out and headed back to Adairsville. We hit crazy traffic. Then we stopped by a clothing store and I got a funny shirt that says "I'm having a girl moment... Get lost!" I hate these kind of shirts but this one has puffed sleeves so I couldn't pass it up, well, that and it was only 3 dollars. Then we went to target and got a kiddy lease for Kiah so my Mom can keep up with her and Gracie when they go to the Bahamas next week.

Miss Kiah


Miss Gracie

The temperature here is 81. I'm attempting to clean this house, my dear old Mom and dads house but it's such a cluttered mass of disorganization that I'm not sure if it's possible.
Still I have to try so that way, if I ask for the use of a car and a little money to go with it they will be more likely to give in. There is an event at eyedrum tonight and I'd like to go and see if I can see some familiar people.
I had a strange involving a monologue I did in high school called Animal Salvation. I was in the gym at my old high school and everyone was sitting on one side of the room. I was trying to get over to the other side to sit because I pretty much despised everyone I was around. I guess the dream was about being out of place.
It was strange the other night when I spent the night with my boyfriend because I noticed the sheets on his bed were the same sheets that I lost my virginity on. I switched beds with Andy last year because his bed was to big for his new place.
Andy and I had sex, of course, I told myself that I wasn't going to but then there we were laying together in a twin bed and its 80 degrees outside and stuffy as hell in their apartment so I had to get necked and so did he and after that...
It wasn't great sex. I thought it was uncomfortable (thinking to much about my vaginal depth and cervix). He orgasamed and made these uhhh oh oh noises. I guess he had a pretty good orgasm because he was on hard for a while (thanks to a condom) I asked him if he faked his orgasm and he got offended and said it's normal to make noise during sex, not everybody is totally silent ya know? He was referring to me because usually the most noise I make involves breathing rather than moaning and screaming.
but yeah, I'll hang out with him again sometime.
My 3 yr. old niece Kiah is turning mean a little, she's says "your stupid and I'm not your best friend" knowing full and well that I'm smart and she is my best friend.