My new year’s eve sucked because I had a stomach virus that enabled me to pee out my asshole all day long also it helped me to vomit up at least a liter of ginger ale. The good news is I have a driver license one year and 2 thousand dollars after I got a DUI.
I’m missing my own space at this point. I’ve been sleeping on my parents couch since December 10th minus the nights I spent in Andy’s dirty apartment.
The other night at about 4 in the morn I stumbled across a terrible soft core porn titled illicit lovers despite the bad script and even worse acting I managed to get a bit turned on and took the vibrating element from a vibrating pillow and I was in the middle of stimulating myself under the covers when my sister stumbled into the room. Now I was so worried about the vibrating noise that I forgot about the porn and my sister stood there a while before it dawned on me that I was watching some overly gorgeous man fuck some fake breasted blond. That was kind of awkward.
Besides that I’ve been dreaming of the dead lately. First my Granny, then Matthew, then tonight, Rex. It’s a bit strange. In the dreams I always realize that these people are dead or at least should be because they are. My Granny had a bunch of strokes then quit eating. I dreamed that she had glasses and dyed her hair black. I gave her a hug. Rex was shot in the head by his neighbors enraged ex-husband because he was hiding her in the closet. That was two weeks before high school graduation. I grew up with that guy. In the dream I walked by him and fought the urge to give him a hug and tell him he looked good then a while later(in the dream) I remembered that he was dead. The dream with Matthew was a little weirder. It was like he wasn’t dead but had just moved and was mad at me. He was murdered about 6 months after we broke up. This was the guy who popped my cherry and all that we lived together for a while. Well actually I popped my own cherry with magic markers when I was about 12 after reading about how much sex for the first time hurt women. I decided that I would rather do it myself but it still kind of hurt the first time I had sex despite years of masturbation so what’s with that? It’s mental thing I guess.

Hurray for Christmas

Hurray for cleavage

So I slept until 4 again. uh... time keeps on slipping. Hmmm. I think that ??I well. shit This old life is getting me down way down. It is the most boring town. I wish you were around. God Damn it I miss old buffalo.

1. I'm reading this book Sex for One by Betty Dobson. It's a great book but this lady is actually into cunt hair shaving because it makes women look at their pussies. She drew all these pictures of pussies close up to show the differences. It's amazing and beautiful, I think.

2. My boyfriend guy, Andy, is always mistaken for being gay. I used to tease him about it but the other night I had the lovely experience of being teased by my own sister for having a gay boyfriend. I think my sister is just pissed because she hasn't got laid in two months, for her that's a record. Jesus Christ you should see the stupid dicks she's interested in. Thank god I scared those assholes off. So yeah, gender roles suck they need a little more transformation if you ask me.