This summer is kind of a boring one for me. I am basically doing more studying now than I usually do at school. Last week I took my first practice GRE and it was a total disaster. I had forgotten how much I hate standardized tests until this little doozy refreshed my memory. While it was a bit unsettling to get my scores back, my first experience with the wretched test did teach me a few things. First, I know far less of the English language than I should. Really I know far less than a middle schooler should...but let's leave that alone. Second, all of my math teachers until this point have failed me. Honestly I always did well in math. I even got an A in the math course I took in college. So why can't I do simple things like add, subtract, and multiple?! There is something very wrong here. I have been led to believe that I am competent in basic math all these years when really I am clueless. It must have been a huge conspiracy.

The sad part is I really need to do well on this test. It's so important to my future and I am not sure that I will pull through okay. I also need to take the GREs in psychology. Although I have done really well in all my psych classes in college I fear that I will find out the same unpleasant news in this test as I did in the other one. Honestly shouldn't my drive and passion mean as much as a standardized test score? I guess one might argue that if I have all this drive and passion I should be able to study my butt off for the test and do well in the end no matter where I start off. But I am not convinced that the world is fair in that way. Either way, I am spending a solid chunk of time every day studying. Hopefully it will make a difference.

The last component to my summer is the research I am doing with a professor from school. It's a continuation of a project we started last year dealing with heterosexual marriages in which the male partner comes out to being bisexual. It's pretty interesting and I am excited to get that work rolling now that I have met with my advisor. I definitely need something besides studying and being stressed though. Hopefully something fun will present itself this summer. I am bored way too much and way more anxious than is healthy. We'll see...

I feel like all truly bad confessions start like this but... I swore I was a person who would never have a live journal. It's not really that I think they are such a bad idea or even that I thought I wouldn't really enjoy keeping one, but I saw it more as a contradiction. The thought of a person keeping a public journal just seems strange...like isn’t the point of a journal to be private, to have no one else’s opinions to worry about. I always thought live journals would inevitably lead to insincerity in what a person was writing. I guess this isn't really true for all people but I was (and sort of still am) fairly sure it would be for me. In any case, I have fallen to peer pressure and started one. I can't avoid it any longer because it seems that all of my friends near and far have one. In a time when I don't get to see the people I love quite as often as I'd like to I guess it just seems practical and kind of fun. Hopefully my preconceived notions about live journals will turn out to be wrong. Either way, I have conformed which is something that I have always prided myself in not doing. At least I can say the thing I broke down on wasn’t sex, drugs or that fast life…just a live journal.
I will try to update this baby as often as would make it entertaining and no more than that…God knows my life is not exciting enough to maintain anyone’s interest daily. We’ll see how it goes. For now take care and I will fill you in more later.