Sometimes I feel like I am attacked more by myself than by any outside force. I am often amazed at the destructive powers of my own psyche.
I alone am the most destructive force in my life.

My hope is to see this pattern before it attacks me and find successful ways to channel that energy into something more positive and productive.

Did you ever start to feel like you were becoming Patrick Bateman from American Psycho?
Sometimes I feel like my mind is pressing down on me. I feel like the pressures to forever be more organized, more efficient and more perfect are suffocating me. Yet on the other hand I cannot nor do I want to necessarily change these qualities that I seek to claim while they torment, consume and control me.
What happens to that person once everything is organized, once life is at it's most optimal efficiency and once you feel (however crazy it sounds) that you are perfect.

Then what?