Wow - I feel bad that I haven't kept up with my journal in awhile ... maybe I have been feeling out of touch - with myself, and especially with others very close to me (or I thought they were close to me), lately....

But Terry made a comment to me the other night that I should write in my journal!!! hahaha - i got caught!! Actually, thanks Terry, because I almost forgot that I had forgot to write in it...and I was planning on writing in it soon!! hahaha...... anyways.... Yeah, that was a good night - TK brought Terry over, finally!!! I tried to get those boys over to my damn place forever ... especially on New Years, but then we both ended up having parties!! It was funny!! Oh yeah, also - TK - thanks for wearing yo' hair all funkay for me ... it's much appreciated!! Tonight is the birthday party for Paul ... TK and Terry invited me, so I guess I am gonna go!! Gonna get blunted my brotha... haha, nope, gonna get drunky though!! Good times!!

Finally 2004 - weird as hell!!!
Came way too fast, just as everything is just going by way too fast.

The New Years Eve party was a hit, I guess I can say that ... but my cousin/roommate ended up falling asleep at about 12:30, right after the ball dropped!!! It was kind of funny, but her presece was missed most of the night.

Things ended up changing in my favor, which is really unbeievable. I am glad that I can feel that things are finally in my range of understanding - clarity ... yesssssss!!!! That's always good to have. I am with TK on this one ... if you want something, go out and fucking get it. Don't give up, don't let go. No regrets for not trying or leaving behind .... as it were, if it was. I love you TK baby - miss you!!!

Got a new job interview this week - finally, something new!!! Hopefully all goes well. It was scheduled for today, but got cancelled because of the 'bad weather??!!' Whatever - it works for me, cuz now me and i's plans to go to Toronto can finally happen!!! Be back soon!!

I'm in total shock, and disbelief, that it is already the new year - 2004 - that's crazy. Another year flew by ... another year to leave behind. Here is to new beginnings!

These past couple of days have left a sour taste in my mouth, along with a stomach that's feels as though its swimming in anxiety and confusion. Nervousness - oooohhhh yeeeaaahhhh.
"Please, Please, Please ... Let me, Let me, Let me ... get what I want, this time ..."
TK - you feel me, don't you??? hahha - we love it.

But that is my phrase of the day, or rather for the past couple of days, and until I encounter this unknown thing that's plaguing my heart and ....... yuck. Anyways ...

Happy New Year to everyone - Party at my place tonight - 488 Breckenridge St. Second floor.

Christmas was very strange this year ... for the first time it didn't feel like christmas, most likely because this year is totally different and unpredictable from my past years. I didn't go to Church this year,for the first time, on Christmas - that threw me off a little bit also. I didn't really feel like going, because I usually find it to be really boring and meaningless these days - which could be a bad thing?? I just don't really know how I feel about my religion lately, so I have combat some of these obstacles ... but in the meantime, I will just be in that endless battle, as it seems to be lately.

Having a special "man friend" this year for Christmas was another strange thing. I actually got to bring 'i' to my family party on Christmas Eve, and he also got the opportunity to wake up in the morning at good old Andy and Linda's house, and see our Christmas morning thang'! It was funny. He liked his gift though, which is a good thing. Quite nervous about that one, so I am extremely glad it is over now.

I got some candy coated love for Christmas this year, which was very nice, and a damn good deck of Tarot cards - so I will be doin' some homework with those in the near future.

All in all, things change, and I like that - but at the same time, it really throws me into a strange loop somewhere out there. To deal is a great challenge, and I suppose I am always up for that.

It's the weekend though!! Hmmmm, what is gonna happen? We will see...

So extremely excited, for today is my last day of work for almost a week!!! Thank god for the Holidays!!! I am very sick of my desk job - need some excitement; need a challenge. I just cannot believe that it is already Christmas time again ... seems like just yesterday it was the beginning of summer!! Life is just flying by, it's scaring me!

I have been in pretty good spirits today, which is pleasant for me, and for others around me, but I do just have one thing to say, in reflection of this weekend ... well, actually, in reflection of the past month or so, too...

"Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you"

A little bit of brain candy for ya'll...

Have a good one

Oh yeah, and I think we actually will be having a New Years Eve Party ... so come on down to the Breckencrib everyone, and celebrate with us!