Today I tried my damnedest to open up my medicine bottle but I couldn't. It hurt so bad to wrap my hands around the bottle and try to twist off the top. Eventually I had to just bear the pain and twist until the freakin thing opened. I'm gonna call Gramma today and tell her I understand her life a little better now.

Jason

T.I. - ASAP
Paul Wall - Sittin Sideways
T.I. - Motivation
The Neptunes/Snoop Dogg - It Blows My Mind
Jay-Z - Where I'm From
Trillville - Some Cut
Lil Jon and Lil Scrappy - What You Gon Do
Lil Boosie & Webbie - Give Me That
Tupac - Hail Mary
Jay-Z - In My Lifetime (Remix)
Mike Jones - Back Then

Let's see how the hood reacts!!!!!

Jason

I am totally non-functional right now. I've been sleeping all day. I called my only connect to see if I could pick up and as usual he didn't answer, and most likely as usual he won't even bother to acknowledge my phone call by hitting me back. God I hate that. Oh well, one less person in my phone book.

I'm really hungry too. Maybe I'll go get some BK.

Jason

Ouch, I just looked at my arm and this is what it looks like:



I wish I had a more detailed web cam. Or a digi cam. My arm looks so horrible. The wounds are very purplish. My right thumb and the knuckle on my middle finger are both really sore, although I can type without any pain. My left wrist is really in a lot of pain too, I played 12 holes of golf today on it and it was really painful.

(e:Paul) showed me the google search thing - hell if it brings more traffic to the site then fine. Kinda surprising though that I would be number one on the search.

Jason

For the first time since seventh grade I was forced to fight. (e:Paul) and (e:Lilho) met the guy. Now, before I start in on this story let me say that I abhor violence. I'm not a violent guy, never have been. I've never been the type to start a physical altercation with someone. I'm not a tough guy, just a normal dude. I wish this never happened.

Tonight I went to Merlin's to see my co-worker's band play. I had a really good time. My ex-buddy and I decided to go get some buddha. So on the way his car dies, leaving me stranded in Cheektovegas with no buddha and no way to get home. I start complaining, we get out of the car and he starts pushing me. He has always thought, Jason's a bitch, he won't fight back, he's a pussy. I let him push me around, thinking he'll stop and we'll be on our way to his apartment. No, he keeps on pushing me and talking shit to me. Finally my anger was kindled and I decided I would defend myself.

I turned on him and wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him to the ground. I said are you going to stop? Are you going to fucking chill out and stop acting like an idiot? I let him up. No, he decided he was going to fight. Bad move on his part, because I caught him dead on his forehead with a right hand, stunning him and pushing him back. I knew I had him so I hit him as hard as I could on the temple with my left. I dragged him to the ground and gave him a few more bumps for good measure. I decided it was stupid and I was done with it and I just wanted to be home and in bed, so I got up and walked away.

I tried talking reason to him. I tried explaining to him that you can't just act and say and do whatever the fuck you feel all the time, because there are going to be consequences. He's 21, barely knowing what to do with his dick and without any kind of sense of accountability to anyone, nor does he have a grasp on any kind of logic. He just feels like he should be able to push me around without anything happening. I'm fucking sick of that. I'm sick of being disrespected and treated like a chump. I don't know what the hell that kid was thinking. I never should have associated with a young kid like that. Of course after he got two huge lumps and a lot of blood on his face he kept on talking shit, just like a fucking bitch ass white suburbanite kid would do. I'm done with him, fuck him, this isn't the first time this has happened to him either. He already has people stealing his mail and on more than one occasion he has come to work with black eyes. I don't want that stress in my life, I don't want to associate with assholes who feel like they should make me feel threatened.

So I walked to Amherst and finally got a ride home. I have his blood on my hands still and my hands are hurting really bad. I never want this to happen to me again. I'm ashamed. I don't know how I was supposed to react. I felt in danger so I protected myself and then some. I prayed for forgiveness. Now I am going to clean up and go to bed. I'm sure he'll act like a punk and try to mess up my car or something. I'll have a hard time restraining myself.

I really need a hug. A big hug.

Jason