About the lot next to Globe Market - I have lived here for a while now, far longer than Brodo, the Yoga place, and Globe have been at their current locations. I understand that parking is at a premium - believe me I know because for years now I have understood that when I drive home from UB every weekday I'm going to have a tough time parking. That's just part of living in the city and we all know it's a pain, and we all know that we have to just deal with it.

I got a written "warning" put under my wiper saying that the lot is only for customers of certain commercial establishments, and that if my car gets towed to call such and such a number. Towed? It has been a lot where residents of the 700 block have parked their cars overnight for years. It's one of the very very few places that people on my block have been able to park their cars *period* as we have alternate parking on Cleveland, etc. and parking on the street is extremely limited (not to mention illegal overnight during the winter). More business, more need for parking, I understand. But for God's sake please have some consideration for the residents as well. We pump plenty of money into your businesses.

I'm not asking for a lot - only for somewhere to put my car when I come home. I live here and spend money at these establishments all the time. Instead of threatening me coldly, please do me the service of talking to me and my neighbors so you can understand where we are coming from. Please let us open up a dialogue so we can come up with a solution that will answer the needs of the residential and commercial community as a whole.

Thanks,
Jason

Does anyone else park in the lot next to Globe Market? If so, did anyone else get a nice orange note from the authorities tucked under their wiper? More commentary on this, but not now as I have clients in Texas to attend to.

Jason

You know what, doing a drive-by anonymous flaming of Terry like that is a straight up chicken-caca thing to do. Have some backbone and put a name and a face to your statements. Acting like a savage will never win support for Pano's cause, so I suppose it wasn't worth your time in writing it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not someone who has an innate hatred for successful business owners. I love to see our small businesses thrive. But you know what? When I first came to Elmwood and introduced myself to the various business owners while browsing their stores, they went out of their way to welcome me to the neighborhood and convey a distinct sense of community. People here give a shit about more than how much money they can take from the suburbanites - it's about contributing to a thriving community.

When I read about Pano's plans I suspected he didn't give much thought to the community aspect of doing business here - he just wanted to stuff his pockets with more dollars. Not only that, but the quotes of his I read were less than flattering. People here see through this bullshit. We care a hell of a lot less about how much money Pano can make than our sense of community, and a desire to keep our neighborhood beautiful. I'm not sure that it even ever occured to the guy that there is anything more to Elmwood than commerce. That's a crying shame. If you want to build an ugly building to stuff more mouths with souvlaki, do it in Amherst where people don't care about anything outside of their cul-de-sac.

Jason

No offense taken Ajay. I guess I was wrong. I'm new and not exactly part of the crew anyhow. ;)

Jason

Hey there pal - I've been there before. I'm sure all of us have at least one time in our lives. I know what you're going through, and I'll offer my latest experience with it. You say you have nobody and that nobody cares. That's not true, I care. I'll do my best to articulate it, and I hope you will be able to take something from it. I don't know your situation, hell they may not even be close but the pain you feel is the constant. I want to help you. I'll give you the cliffs notes version.

In 2002 I thought I had the perfect girlfriend. I had never cared for someone so much outside of my family, or loved someone as dearly. I would have gladly and eagerly given my life for her if the situation ever came up. It was a long distance deal, her in Philly and me here in Buffalo. In 2002 I lost my job and my grandfather. It was a hard time, but she was there for me. Over time as I struggled to find another programming job she grew more and more distant. Not only that but she began to say some of the meanest shit I ever heard out of anyone's mouth. She apologized to me time and again, and things seemed to get better. This was cyclical. I remained patient with her and thought that as soon as I found another job things would work out.

So one week I visited her, and she said that she wanted to be married to me, and that she wanted to have my children. Heavy stuff, but I was really excited about it because I felt the same way. She was here to come with me to a wedding, and it was an awesome weekend. I thought for sure that things were going to be just fine. The next weekend I was to fly out to Philly to attend one of her friends' weddings. The wedding was great, the couple looked as happy and thrilled as I've ever seen anyone look. Not only that but my girlfriend looked absolutely striking. I remember her looking so damn beautiful. I was not her only admirer.

At the reception some guy noticed her running out of the hall with the guy she walked the aisle with. He was like, hey Jason there is something that's just not right about that. So we ran outside, and as I walked down the street with him I noticed this guy and my girlfriend around the corner, him with his tongue down her throat and hand up her dress. The guy with me said, Jason you don't want to go to jail. I was enraged enough to cripple both of them for life. I thought my life was destroyed, and everything I had worked for and cared about was gone. I decided to leave and told her to save her breath - I was going home. I called her father, who came to get me, I explained the entire thing to him. He said he didn't raise her like that, and that I would have been a good son. He brought me to the airport, I got on a jet and spent every dollar left on liquor. I arrived in Buffalo a drunken, broken man. I didn't cry that much even when my grandfather passed away. It turns out this was a pattern, and that she had been screwing around on me for months. At the beach, in Europe, you name it she had cheated on me there. Hehe. I was oblivious to all of it.

So you want to know how to get over the pain? You want to be able to get over it and move on with your life as quickly as possible? Here is the advice I can offer up:

1) Forgive her for anything wrong she's done to you. She's human, and will never be perfect. The sooner you can let go the things she's done wrong to you, the sooner you will be able to be happy and move on.

2) You yourself are also not perfect. I can think of many things I did to piss off my ex. I was not perfect - maybe didn't deserve what I got but I knew that I could honestly claim there were things I did wrong to contribute to the downfall of the relationship. If you can find it within yourself to admit this, I really believe you will be able to find peace faster. That's the way it worked with me.

3) What gives you joy? What do you love doing
? Do those things as much as you can, and surround yourself with the people who care
ab
out you. Don't be alone at home in misery. Go out there and do something that will take your mind off of it for a while. Go have fun.

4) I bet you can think of many instances where she did something magnificent for you. My ex came to Jamestown to go to my grandfather's funeral. It wasn't my choice, she said I didn't have a choice, she was coming. At the funeral when I finally lost it she RAN from the back of the crowd to the front to sit with me and console me. I could never forget that, nor how much I appreciated it (and still appreciate it). Think about the good times instead of the bad and you will understand she isn't 100% an awful person or someone who is only out to hurt you.

5) If your morals normally wouldn't allow for this - don't be stupid and go fuck everything in sight. It won't make you feel better about yourself or your situation. Don't use your experience as a way to hurt or mislead other people. Don't make someone else pay for the hurt someone else brought to you. Use it as a learning tool so you can be a wiser man and a better boyfriend to someone else in the future. You can turn a bad into a good by using it to become a better human being.

I really hope you can get something out of it, and that some of it will help you to recover as soon as possible. I know how alone and hurt you feel, and if you need to vent I am here. Just e-mail and I will do whatever I can, anytime, any place. Good luck to you buddy and I wish you only the best.

Jason