This lady is a total jack-ass, can you even imagine being that stupid and evil?


Woman Allegedly Hires Hit Man for Cheese Tue Dec 6, 7:01 PM ET


MEMPHIS, Tenn. - In an unusual case of mistaken identity, a woman who thought a block of white cheese was cocaine is charged with trying to hire a hit man to rob and kill four men. The woman also was mistaken about the hit man. He turned out to be an undercover police officer.

Jessica Sandy Booth, 18, was arrested over the weekend and remains in jail with bond set at $1 million on four charges of attempted murder and four counts of soliciting a murder.

According to police, Booth was in the Memphis home of the four intended victims last week when she mistook a block of queso fresco cheese for cocaine - inspiring the idea to hire someone to break into the home, take the drugs, and kill the men.

An informant described the plot to police, who arranged a meeting between Booth and the undercover officer.

The undercover officer gave Booth some nonfunctioning handguns, bought ammunition for her because she was too young, and the two proceeded to the home under police surveillance.

Booth told the officer that any children inside the house old enough to testify would have to be killed, police said.

A search of the home with the permission of the occupants revealed no drugs - only the white, crumbly cheese common in Mexican cuisine.

"Four men were going to lose their lives over some cheese," said Lt. Jeff Clark, who heads Project Safe Neighborhoods.

Okay, so with the help of my travel agent, my work, and my brother, the Christmas surprise is on! I'm so stoked. I'll actually be home longer than I had originally thought, I'll fly in on the 21st, and back on the 28th - so a whole week!

I was originally going to ask my grandma to help out with the cost of the plane ticket, but decided against it as she's getting a little senile and might let the secret out. Besides anyone who reads this, the only people back home that know I'm coming are my brother and his wife.

My travel agent was able to find a pretty cheap flight (relatively, then again, what isn't relative?). Anyways, so close to Christmas, I figured I'd get major-screwed, but I was able to get a flight for $580. Not bad!

It's gonna be a-fucking-awesome!

I hope I get to see (and meet) a bunch of you while I'm in town...

Although I did realize I have just about no winter clothes, so I'm probably going to spend as much on new sweaters and pants as on the plane ticket - oh gosh, and boots!

The coolest thing is this: I get a pretty fat bonus check each christmas from work, but it won't be here until next week. Well, I really didn't want to wait until then to get the tickets, it would be like impossible. So they're letting the travel agent invoice them, and then I can pay them back when I get the bonus. How fucking cool is that.... as much as I bitch about work sometimes, they really are super accommodating...Also, I just took a week off for Thanksgiving, and have like no personal time left, but they're still letting me take off (actually my boss said "HELL YEAH, JUST GO") and have found someone to cover.....

NICE!

See y'all in a couple of weeks!

So, a little background.....

My son's dad and I trade holidays in the whole happy custody schedule...This year Elijah will be with his Dad & Family in Hawaii - expenses all paid, by the way, for the whole family to fly out and stay, by Elijah's grandparents (not my parents, clearly).... kind of makes me think maybe I should've stuck around another couple of years - not really - the last five years of growth and learning are worth way more than a trip to Hawaii - I'll get there on my own one day.....

So usually when Elijah's with his dad for Christmas, I spend the day with Bob, Tracy and Jill. Bob is my old neighbor, who is a super pain in the ass, but one of those that you just can't help being his friend. Tracy is his son, who I dated for about 2 years, and broke up with about 6 or more months ago. Jill is Bob's daughter, Tracy's sister, who I am also very good friends with.

Well, Tracy has been in a super bad way since we broke up, particularly the last few months. If I'm around and he's sober (rare) he can barely even look at me. When he's drunk he says a bunch of jack-ass things. So they know that Elijah will be with his dad, and I know I'll be invited to Christmas, but for Tracy's sake, I've already decided I will for sure not go there.

So, I've been looking forward to spending Christmas alone at my little cold apartment (yes, it does get cold, relatively, in San Diego).

Cut Scene, flash to my dad....

My dad had colon cancer - was diagnosed a guess a little over a month ago - and had surgery to remove it. He is doing well, and starts chemo tomorrow at Roswell, where, coincidentally or not, Paul works, and also my sister-in-law as an oncology nurse. I've been trying to figure out something special to get my Dad this year for Christmas... kind of racking my brain (I'm a total daddy's girl, by the way)....

Cut scene, merge two together...

So I've decided that, with a little help from my brother and my grandma, to give my daddy me for Christmas.... I just decided like an hour ago, so nothing is set in stone yet, but I plan on flying home and surprising him. I can just picture his face, and I realize there's no other choice to be made!

I'm super stoked.... Paul, do I hear EStrippers' Party?

anyways, I'm planning right now on being home from the Thursday before Christmas, and probably flying back the Tuesday afterward....

Wish me luck! That way no one will have to send me any snow, which I desperately miss, if you can believe that....

Just to let everyone know, Charlie Brown Christmas is on tonight - gosh it's 8 in NY - it might be on right now. I'm listening to Vince Guaraldi getting ready for it....

Send me some snow!

I just wanted to let you all know that my left pinky toe nail is .2253 cm longer than my right pinky toe nail!