So yesterday was my 29th birthday, and I didn't really tell anyone. I spent the day running around trying to get things done, worrying about Maria, and stressing about being overcommitted. I've signed up to do a short performance for the cabaret this weekend, just to keep busy, so of course I'm trying to get a million things together for it. I had to go to the craft store and the fabric store, and then at midnight last night I was with Brian, god bless him, in the Buffalo subway video taping trains. Then I went home and sewed the baby mole puppet for the Mole People Messiah act.

So basically, I'm planning to celebrate my mid-life mid-life in crises Saturday night after the cabaret, if anyone would care to join me ((e:soyeon), sorry I missed you last night! How's Saturday?) If you haven't seen the Real Dream Cabaret at Rust Belt Books yet, you really have to go. Although maybe not this weekend. The theme is the Underground, so it should be dark, and also, my skit is in very bad taste... But maybe you're in to that kind of thing.

But here are the real Real Dreamers, below. The last night they perform this year is Election Night. That's November 2 for all you abstainers or anyone who has just emerged from a cave. (Is that what the 5% undecideds are, cave dwellers who have just crept from the depths of the earth? Or is that the Mole People? Are they in search of a Mole People Messiah to lead them)?

My Friend Maria has been missing for a week today. She just disappeared into thin air last Thursday morning. I found out about it while I was in Montreal presenting at a conference. Apparently the police thought that she was with me when they couldn't get in touch with me.

So I've been totally out of it, trying to think where she could be, whether she's been kidnapped or wandered off... I don't know. I understand now how that's the worst part.

So, I have so much else to say... about Montreal and other things, but for now all I can think is "Maria, where are you?"

"(Port Colborne, ON, Canada, October 22, 2004) - - Rescue crews across the border are resuming their search for a missing Western New York woman.

Niagara Regional Police say relatives reported 40 year old Maria Repec missing Thursday morning.

Police say Repec is vacationing at her family's Port Colborne cottage and is an avid walker.

Rescue workers, volunteers, and a search dog spent much of Thursday combing the woods in and around Port Colborne.

Rick Geady of the Niagara Regional Police said, "She has since left the area, she's walking somewhere in this area we believe. She's commonly doing long walks."

If you've seen Repec, you're asked to contact Niagara Regional Police at 905-735-7811."

I'm realizing more and more how this journal actually helps me to remember what's going on in my life. It prolly isn't interesting for the rest of you to read (well, except my mom), but sometimes I just gotta make a list of what's been happening. Otherwise I honestly forget. They say people who keep lifelong journals are less likely to get Alzheimers. Here are my attempts to prevent it.

Sunday- Killed time at Medaille with Brian, reading Times, waiting for editing computer to open up so we could work on the Swan documentary. It didn't. Saw Sky Captain with Maria. Followed by sky party on the roof of Emily's boyfriend Graham's loft. Met interesting Argentinian horse trainer-turned high school teacher.

Monday- Columbus day. Classes were cancelled at Medaille, so I didn't have to teach. Drawing class in the afternoon. Stopped by my sister Wendy's house for dinner. Played with goat. Can't remember what I did after. TV maybe? Talked to Sebastian? Dozed on couch? Definately dreamed a strange dream of being a little Indian girl running away from a blonde brother and sister while also being the brother and sister. It was all a mix up, you see.

Tuesday- Gallery trip to see Bruce Jackson's photos of photos of 1930's Arkansas prisoners. Hated it. Kinda told him so. What a wind bag. Work meeting, helped set up for Naples/Higgins debate. Totally blanked (e:southernyankee) and (e:tina) party. Sorry gals. You know if my mind weren't such swiss cheese I would have partied down with you. Asked someone to John Cale concert at Mohawk Place, got turned down for a plumber. Went to hear John Cale with buddy anyways. Didn't sleep at home anyways... doh! Ambivalent feelings about buddy sex in the cold grey morning-after morning of...

Wednesday- something like: dawn-drive home, work, teach, draw, then spend four hours on video lighting excercise with (e:paulnotpaul) and others for class. Lots of work, but lots of fun. Exhausted by the end. Merciful sleep.

Thursday- Work. Sleep. Didn't go to see Stelarc. Sleep.

Friday- School, teach, work. Sleep. Party at Paul V's house with (e:soyeon), (e:robin), (e:liz), other sundry u-b-ers (that's you-bee-ers, not ubers) and assorted Medaille folks. Fun time. Tried on Paul's invention, the security bra. Didn't make out with anyone, especially not the beautiful opera teacher with the cupid bow lips. Sigh. Now if only he were a pervert, he could cure me of my hysteria. See, let me explain, hysterics don't want buddies, they want perverts. Oh, never mind. Ended up at Robin's with Soyeon til 5 am. Had to work...

Saturday- 10 am arrived at work on time can you believe it. And then I actually worked. Well, except for this part where I'm writing in my journal.

It's strange how much I actually remembered as I was going along writing this. Back, back fierce alzheimer's! You won't get this blogger's mind!

I'm becoming a postmodern conceptual artist. Last night I took digital photographs of my TV, which I have made a little slide show out of. I realize I was in part inspired by (e:matthew) 's Lucy pictures. Please take a look at the whole thing and tell me if it works, Medaille's servers are really slow. You can view them all by following this

the giant bride and groom amid the fall foliage. your wedding was beauti-fall (e:trish) and (e:paulnotpaul)! it couldn't have been better. the peeps, as you can learn from (e:matthew), (e:terry), (e:paul), and I'm sure others to come ((e:southernyankee), (e:tina), (e:lilho), (e:flaccidness), (e:springfairie)) partied in style, as usual. hopefully we can all be there to help celebrate the happy couple's 1st, 10th, 50th wedding anniversaries... which will all take place on our collectively owned sheep (and goat) farm, of course. although trisha's family told me of her plans to have twelve sons and one daughter! i'm all for collective living and "it takes a village" child rearing, but i'm trying to imagine a room full of a baker's-dozen kordos-lehnen babies! seeing as trish and paul are some of the happiest and funniest people i know, i think it'd be a good time.