damn work dammy damn it! just cause i only had four stupid hours of sleep the night before and had to work this morning I went home last night a cheesy 1am. AND MISSED THE NAKED DANCE PARTY! I always do. which makes me wonder, maybe it's like the bear shitting in the woods conundrum. if everyone gets naked and i'm not there to see it, does that mean that people only wear their clothes when I'm around? do i have that librarianesque buzz kill effect on people? someone would tell me if i do, right?

Here is a haiku for all the haikusters and my friend Sarah, who is in Vienna getting chatted up, lucky duck:

dreams of falling up
from my work chair into desk
top blue atmosphere

I'm working with a prof from UB on a proposal for a conference on surveillance. We decided to do reality television, one of the subcategories. Here is the abstract I wrote. Props to my friend Brian, who lent me the tapes of the show, and actually kinda gave me the idea. Here's the link to the Swan site:

And here's the abstract:

Fox's reality show "The Swan" comprises diverse perspectives of spectatorship which organize it into modes of surveillance and theatricality. The participants in this beauty pageant have several traits in common: most are young, married women; though few have positive male presences in their lives. Their main similarity is their exaggeratedly negative impression of their bodies; thus they submit to the drastic cosmetic surgery, psychological evaluation, and imposed isolation the contest requires. Because of their dysmorphic body views, they figuratively cannot "see" themselves. Upon entering the contest, they are not allowed to look at themselves in the mirror during the transformation. Literally, they cannot see themselves. The viewer however, has a panoptical view of the entire process, from graphic depictions of surgery, to close-focus intimate interviews and candid hand-held digital footage. These documentary views are highly contrasted with the heavily filtered, theatrical interludes with the specialists: the glamorous surgeons, dentist, personal trainer, and therapist who undertake the clinical and psychological overhaul of the contestant. In the end, she is "revealed" in a staged setting, seeing herself for the first time in a mirror that is dramatically concealed behind a red velvet curtain. The viewer's perspective is behind the two-way mirror. We see her seeing herself for the first time. Almost universally, her first observation is an expression of misrecognition, exclaiming "Is that really me", while looking at her observer. These modes of spectatorship highlight the disconnection between seen and seer, and the unreliability of observation in a society based on surface and spectacle.

About a week ago I shaved/naired off all (well, most) of my precious polemical body hair. Sorry to everyone out there who sent me "Yeah Grrrrl" messages. Basically my theory was that you should never be so dogmatic in your ideas that you don't occasionally question them. Plus it was a feeble attempt to get laid. So much for that! Anyways, now I find myself missing my furriness, so last night about 4 am I made this little testimonial from some pictures I took documenting the process:

Here is a picture of the painting that I recently finished. Still learning, still dreaming. I have some pictures of Niagara Falls taped up, next I'll be a Bathing Giantess!

So last night I saw one of the best shows I've seen in Buffalo. The Evens, Ian McKaye and Amy Farina, rocked in very "quietish" manner at Soundlab for a full house. If any of you are old Fugazi fans or general DIY punk enthusiasts then the sound might have suprised you. It was like McKaye had sat down and thought long and hard about... Belle and Sebastian?! I'm kidding! It wasn't that limp wristed. Anyways, if you missed the show, this morning I've been looking for mp3 to download and found one in a cool place we should all go to and support. Sonic Youth's Thurston Moore has helped start an online label called Protest Records where you can download free tunes by your fave rage bands. The Evens are on Volume 2, a song called On the Face of It they played last night. The last lines of it are "that's the tragedy/ of the strategy/ of looking out for number one". And for all you Kimya fanatics out there (by that I mean Paul :) her classic hit Anthrax is on Volume 5. There's also Chumbawumba, DJ Spooky, some Sonic Youth, but of course... all good stuff that loves life and hates fascism. As Ian McKaye said last night in one of his guru-esque monologues to a crowd that hung on his every word, the world needs more mind-expanders.