As I sit and hold her hands, I can no longer feel the aches and pains of my recent 17 mile run. I no longer tense my shoulders with the stress of my hectic schedule, and I don't particularly feel attached to the static nature of my relationship. She is nearing the end of a 20 year battle with cancer and although her days are numbered I'm convinced she's won. She gasps labored breaths through the oxygen mask but her eyes remain strong and calm. She teaches me what it is to be detached. I am reminded that you don't always have to like yourself to tolerate yourself. In a solid gaze, she has given me her "lightness," or rather shown me that which was already there.

Lmbs tangled, I lay still and listen
as after frolick breathlessness gives way to
the dozing rhythm of the lazy summer night

soaring patiently
awaiting the collision
that ignites my definition of self

I had fun at the buffalo bar crawl last week- nice to meet the (e:peeps). I love going home and tricking my body into believing I can still drink like I did in college!
So now I'm back in LA and very much stressing out a bit here. I've committed to raising $3000 by August 31st to benefit this organization APLA that helps people living with AIDS. (and running the marathon 26.2 miles is now the least of my worries)
Anybody have any fundraising ideas, or wealthy philanthropist family friends please email me!
Just in case anyone out there cares to make a diffence and help me help this community out please go to aidsmarathon.com and click sponser a runner. That would be me: runner 4264, Deidre Siddons, currently training in Los Angeles. THANKS SOOOOO MUCH
By the way DrChlorine: in the local library picture: that was clearly an imposter, not the real haikuster!

rainy rockstar thursday
I do indeed miss this place
and my wonderful cohorts


...I have a plethera of haikus just waiting to come out about my visit to Buffalo, however, I am still processing all of the events. More to follow