Virginity is something that most people prize. It is also something that some people want to get rid of as soon as possible. I remember my virgin snatcher. WE were at my "boyfriends" house and and my "boyfriend" had fallen asleep. I use qoutations because he really wasn't my boyfriend but everyone thatought he was and he acted the role every now and then but nothing was set in stone. Anywayhe had fallen asleep and our mutual friend was over. He and I started fooling around on the top bunk and my "boyfriend" was on the bottom bunk. He told me he wanted to *gulp* put it in me. I was nervous but willing to try. YOu can only do so much with foreplay and blowjobs. So he did it. Safety first always and it was on. I screamed so loud he had to cover my mouth with his hand for the first minute or two. Luckily my "boyfriend" is a very hard sleeper. From the day on I did it reguarly. With MY "boyfriend" and his friend. But I remember thinking, ' my virginity is gone.' I still talk to my cherry popper when I see him. I popped someones cherry last night. After a long night of drinking and dancing. I took someone home with me. Which ofcourse really never happens. He told me he was a virgin while we fooled around on my bed but he wanted me to, and I qoute "fuck me, fuck me" And I wondered why would he want to give his virginity up so easy to someone he just met. So I was truly a little reluctant at first seeing that I may never hangout with him again, and he goes to school in california. I did it anyway and to be honest he didn't seem like a rookie to me. He moved really fast, too fast for my taste. He was taking all the pleasure out of it for me. We finished went to sleep and the next afternoon he went home. I never got his number, I am totally sick of one night stands. And I can't really say If I would do him again. Thats too bad. Oh and he was a horrible kisser. Too much tounge, yuck.

As of right now I will not be working untill wenesday morning. So during this four day break I will be doing the following.
1. laundry
2. more yoga
3. less drinking
4. less smoking (cigarettes)
5. treat my self to a mmovie or two
6. drink more water
7. work out even more
8. finally relax

I have three new journals i have written down on paper for the site so I will be editing them also. Wish me luck, and welcome new estrip peeps. And always remember love.

It's not like I am not enjoying myself here with my family and old friends; But now i feel that it is time for me to get back to my crazy hectic city life. i miss it. I still have not heard a peep from my mother. Kinda sad. When I went to go visit my dad he told me that both of my great grandmothers just had strokes. The one that is 99 years old (Naggie Lee) is alright now. The one that is 85 (Mary ANN) has to have surgery. She'll be alright soon. When I left his house yesterday he walked me all the way to the front gate and stood there and watched me walk away til i was out of sight. Nearly made me cry. My sister has a new boyfriend whose nick name is "fag". I realize how much more I should excercise to get to my goal weight and muscle structre. I have two upcoming journal entires One is me at my more sensetive side of love and the other entry will contain goal for the summer including learning to do a back handspring and things I have not done sexually. FUN FUN! I will be coming home tonight or tommorow morning. So i will see you soon and I extend a welcome to the e-strip peeps. peace and love.

I guess the boys are not the only ones who took a small vacation. I am home in the falls as of right now (day 2). I will be returning to buffalo wenesday at the latest. And thus far I found out, my brother got fired from his job for throwing a plate at a co-woker, and he has no place to stay. So he is thinking of moving in with me. ummmmm. My enemies have grown in numbers. My father completed his first novel called "the muffins" which i did not know he was writing in the first place, and not only did he dedicate the book to my brother, sister and myself, we are also the the character base.It's a futuristic fantasy adventure. I watched the texas chainsaw massacer for the first time and litterally had nightmares lastnight. My families love and support is always wonderful. My aunt alean says to me "that you get over there in buffalo and you act like you don't know nobody." I don't know where my mother is. NO one knows where. I hope she's alright. So while I am on my little sabaticle I am also thinking of new things to write about. They will still be dirty, and perverted so need not worry. I am just gathering thoughts and putting them on paper. so goodnight and good fight.

sad to say; but I let down my gaurd. I have been trying to build myself to be independent and strong (go on girl). I will not let a man take advantage of me! (go on girl). the next time I give my heart, or this ass will be with some one who cares about me! (go on girl!) Because it's all about me! (go on girl!) I must make him feel like he needs this ass! (go on Girl!) Mutha fucka you need me! (go on girl!!!) You can kiss my ass till i'm ready to give it up! (go on girl!) But I backslid ya'll. Under the influence of a cute face and too much Gin. I let a man break my seal. (girl?) That's right. I took off my clothes and let him touch me. This man aint about shit. He is not looking for what I am looking for. I let my self down, and I am sorry. Nah fuck that. He was beggin for this ass! (GIRL!) Yeah And I gave it to him. (GIRL?) And I gave that mutha fucka the ride of his life. I rode that dick so good that mans leggs were in the air flappin honey. He wasn't ready! He was not ready for the god of making love, he wasn't ready. Him take advantage of me; HA SIKE BITCH! I wont see him again and I don't give a shit. It was my birthday and goddamnit I had dick souffle! (oooh go on girl!) Thats right, mutha fuckas I'm back! And If you are reading this right now and you think you are ready for another piece, come find me. But believe me I will not be waiting for you. (Ooh GO ON GIRL!) YOu gone hafta search and find this good ass just like gold honey. (go on girl) yeah! now I'm gone! PROTECTION ALWAYS YA'LL!