So,

I'm at my desk preparing to write up some character backgrounds for a story I'm working on. [No, I won't post it here, yes it's really nerdy, and double yes I love witting it.] While I'm getting ready to do so ,MS Word booting in the background, I started thinking about all the characters on this site. This site has quite a cast of characters many I'd be proud to have though of, in a cast that I happen to be a part of.

Segway(sp?): I don't know if you know this but the movie Anchorman as a DVD is a steal. It comes with 2 separate movies. One is full of scatological, lascivious, and lower brow humor, which has its own merits. I laugh at well constructed jokes not just the snobbity high brow, political, or referential kind, which the other one is rife with. I just prefer the later. I'm a snob. I know it... either that or there's something that happens in my brain that's more satisfied by being challenged than sated immediatly that make me an alien to my parents, and to many other humans that I meet.((e:IMK2)#120) ((e:IMK2)#121).

I think the higher brow movie was better, not just because of jokes that didn't have erections in them or the absence of large nonsensical fight scenes, but because the whole thing was taken much more seriously, so when something crazy happened it was more outrageous than yet another fart in a series of farts. That's why this page is good. Because the stories you read here are real. The people are real people. People you've seen and shared drinks with. People you like and that you can even hate.

Oooh, another reason why Anchorman is so good is because of it's cultural relevancy, which this site just being a web site is composed of. What's more right now than the interweb? The highbrow version of Anchorman is done more like a documentary made in the mid 70s to early 80's. The voice over voice is serious all of the time and the plot change makes the subject matter more emotionally binding. "How did the social climate of the workplace change when women were introduced into traditionally male role. Public roles, like news anchor?" When you ask that question the title makes both films feel more relevant; it's called Anchorman, not news anchor, the phrase wasn't coined. There's many treasures to behold in that 2nd version, many gems that I won't tarnish by trying to explain. Pick it up and check it out. I plan on buying it. Maybe I'll have a movie night and invite you all to eat popcorn on me couch so you can watch it too.

Tying all this back in to my point, if you put all those characters in a more realistic setting, they start to become real people as ridiculous are they are, because really bizzare characters like that exist in the real fuckin' world. On this page. :: waves at cha ::

So I starting thinking about what kind of character I am. If I were in a comedy, a sit com, or even drama (like Quantum Leap!), that had some contemporary relevance. What kind of wacky zany angle could be taken on my personality to depict me as a person from this day and age and from this region accurately. In other words real good shit.

You can see some of the complexity of thought trying to eek it's way into the fart version and there are some really good jokes in it that aren't low brow that aren't in the other film too. In other words, pick it up and treat your self, or if you didn't know the other disk was a different movie check it out (Mitch didn't know it and they were his DVD's).

The Anchorman movie is a good example of widespread contemporary social change. It was set in San Deigo and I bet dollars to dough nuts that if I ever lived in Sand Deigo I'd have been laughing even harder (did you see Will Farrell's tan?). The Departed was good because of it's well woven complexity and cultural relevance too. I guess I can better illustrate my point by giving a concrete example... Oh, some really good regionally relevant media that I've been into lately has been Hamell On trial. He's really damned liberal, really crass, and underpaid... so completely buffalo.

The Departed was really good because of the uncommon combination of elements that were more realistic than fictitious. I guess there's a heavy Irish population in Rhode Island, so it ends up that there are some Irish cops, and just as many Irish crooks, and they have a really amazing culture, with it's own accent to boot. You should really check that movie out. Instead of satisfying you immediately it surprises you constantly, a much higher yield of enjoyment if you can keep up with it all with. It's kinda funny that that level of culture is untouched in films until now. Or scary. It's the only reason to you'd need to ever travel for anymore. Mass media has made everything else the exact same everywhere. Think of that the next time your craving a chicken finger sub at 2:00 a.m. out side of a 24hour McDonalds because all the bars are closed and you spent twice as much money on Long Island Ice teas that have half as much liquor in them (phew...)

Hmmmm... back to me, ok and you. I think I started to describe me pretty well. I'm not a typical black guy, and I'm a snob (OK and a nerd). So, I'd have to play that up. I have noodle hair which is either a tell tell sign of some kinda liberalness, or ethnic enthusiasm, but with me it's neither really, and if you pay attention you can catchy me relishing that fact. Hell, some folks probably think I'm republican the way I talk (just ask (e:matthew) , we had a fun little fracas the night we met. It's ok kids, we made up that night/morning. We'd yammered till holy-crap-oclock in the morning. Funny thing is TK was still drinking when I left and the birds were out, that guys a trooper. I was a ex-musician too which you have to be to hang out where I hang and love it, "Allentown". You can't throw an amp in the old pink without taking out 4 bands, or unbalancing the groupie ratio. However, I'm on again off again charming depending on the situation as if I'm not sure how to control it. And the most important regionally distinctive crown would probably be my disdain. Buffalo can never quite get it right (No Goal, Wide Right) but we can certainly always tell you whats wrong. Typically that's paired with some do nothing that ends you up in the Pink at 4:00 am talking to that girl again....

What about you. What kinda character would you consider your self if you wanted to get readers interested, but not bull shit them at the same time?

So many crazy things have happend in the last hour!

Ok not really. I just had some intense fun at lunch with (e:jenks) and (e:IMK2)

If anyone ever complains about not knowing anyone fun in Buffalo they're just lazy, this place is chock full of charcters, starting with you guys...ok, and me : Þ

You estrip peoples are the funest ever! Woooh!

Ask any doctor and she'll tell you that it's true. It's easier to catch cold from a little kid than it is to catch one from and open window, but I digress... On to the apple illness a disease that when caught by a human makes it much more snotty than any cold ever could.

Ok, let's not get things confused I'm going to buy a mac when I get my new lappy.

I know, I know...

I'm not switching over. They make sweet hardware, it's undenyable. So, I'm not about to cheat my self out of getting some sweet gear for the love of Bill (no, not you Vycious!), or the hatrid of anything else.

None the less, the shitty attitude that most things mac bear cheese me off sooooooooo hard!

Seriously, have you ever been inside the mac store?! I'm instantly transported back to high school with everyone in their horn rimmed glasses and flakey turtlenecked sweaters looking down at me from their high fashion high horses when I say I use a PC to use my iPod! Creatons! They effin' call their helpdesk jockeys Genius'. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm! Pathetic!

I figure if you're perfect you don't really need to tell anyone, people just know, but have you seen the mac ads lately? All they can do to sell their product is bash the competitors. As if a mac has never crashed, or lost a file.

As if the add campains weren't enough I just got this crap in my email:

Dear Apple iPod Owner:

We recently discovered that a small number - less than 1% - of the Video iPods available for purchase after September 12, 2006, left our contract manufacturer carrying the Windows RavMonE.exe virus. This known virus affects only Windows computers, and up to date anti-virus software that is included with most Windows computers should detect and remove it. So far we have seen less than 25 reports concerning this problem. The iPod nano, iPod shuffle and Mac OS X are not affected, and all Video iPods now shipping are virus free. As you might imagine, we are upset at Windows for not being more hardy against such viruses, and even more upset with ourselves for not catching it....

Yeeeeeeeeeeeahh.....

So, it's windows' fault that a windows virus got onto apple hardware from a factory!? When will the lameness end apple? You sell computers, not cool. They are machines, not messiahs, and every once in a while someone makes something that's pretty damn good, but not perfect. Oh...like your iPod.

Personally mine broke so many times between when I bought it and before the first year of ownership elapsed that I felt obligated to first buy a shuffle (for when I wanted to jog with an iPod), and then an extended service plan. Especially after my buddy Mat's ipod went kaputz and they just gave him the snob oogle, told him he wasn't good enough to be in their beautiful store, and sent him home with a $300 paperweight.

I really only used the big pod for sitting at work or driving around...so there was no excuse for it break. It uh, broke so often that they ended up giving me a new one out of the box to replace it, and that was really nice of them even if it could have given my computer a virus... sigh.

I guess the only thing the perfect people in the world have that we don't have is the ablity fail worse than they've ever failed before. Maybe that's why we love it so much when the Lindsay Lohans of the world wear green dresses on windy days . Yeah apple you didn't fool me with this email, your crotch is showing.

heathens...

PS. Always make the kids wash their hands before they hug you...they've been eating worms and touching :: eeech :: other kids all day long!

Your're really screwed.

So I'm at work cause it was cold at my house. Cause uh, the heat is not working, and neither is the electricity. Heat! Woo!

I guess I'm not the only one who needs to touch a computer every day. Sheesh if computers could reproduce we'd have a serious population problem. This six billion humans crap would be a cake walk, we'd have cyborg babies coming out of our ears. Just check out this exchange:

1. chicoschica 09:34 what's it like there?
   
2. enknot 09:35 it's like a really dead ghosttown
   
3. enknot 09:36 oh gawd, it's friday the 13th
   
4. chicoschica 09:36 uh yeah
   
5. enknot 09:36 SNORT! How neerdy buffalo
   
6. enknot 09:34 I need breakfast I had no power or heat at my house so I hadda go, so don't feel guildty
   
7. leetee 09:39 we have the freakies power outage. part of the house has power, part doesn't
   
8. leetee 09:40 the fridge and the computer are on extention cords.
   
9. leetee 09:40 no heat, though
   
10. enknot 09:41 sweet you got the bare nessisites working!
    
11. enknot 09:41 the fridge and the compy!
    
12. leetee 09:41 lo.
    
13. leetee 09:41 hahaha
    
14. leetee 09:41 yeah

Last night the furious foozeball action was out of control. Segway: Why do American insist on calling table football foozeball? It's football, not soccer, and it's on a table, so it should be called... oh damn that argument. I've got better things to talk about.

So, during tablefootball, (e:vycious) and I verses Dan, a tree in Dans backyard bit it. It sounded like a glacier splitting into...or um a tree splitting in two, which is, uh what it was. Yeah. Some cars had been there just moments before, but were gone by the time the tree feel (lucky them too).

(e:vycious) went to work today too. Says when he called his boss excuse for not calling him and telling him not to come in was that his boss had little girls to protect from the aborious invaders that were loittering where the glass windows used to be. Pussy. I'da kicked those trees' asses' and...eeeeh, yeah. So, he had to wait an hour for a train to come and carry him home after being locked outside of work for a 1/2 hour.

Ooh here's some pics from last night near my car, and some from this morning too.

Those thick white streaks are mutant monster snowflakes!


Baumschieber: the new sensation in automotive excellence







Ok... just found out Jim's is open. I need a hogie. LOADED!!!!

This site is so googley. I'm going to try and get this page logged by typing some keywords here: Buffalo, Friday 13th, Snowstorm, Picutures, trees, blizzard. New York.

There we go....

A tree almost ate my car..

Ok a tree almost dragged my car to hell with it, but luckily I'm lazy...or maybe the karma police had a full day too and let me slide cause they didn't wanna fill out the paperwork

I drove to work this morning. That's stupid because I'm walking distance from work. Like seriously, I'm only 15 minutes on foot, but I knew we were moving today, my team that is, so I wanted to have the car close incase we wanted to port a bunch of breakables.

Really though I was just being lazy. Our old office in the Cell and Virus building was really close to the free parking; Ok, the neighborhood parking. MMmmmm, I should prolly leave the neighbor part off cause the other day there was police tape around the bodega where I sometimes get breakfast juice. Prolly a shooting or something, but I'm huge black dude who dresses kinda shabbily and don't compete with any local dealers, so I think they think I belong there and am harmless so they don't eff with me.

Any who, I get to work late since last night was a blast, sorry if you didn't make it out. La Luna was offa da chain and I dance with lotsa cuties but I got too drunk to be charming and ended up only dancing with them on the dance floor (nudge nudge wink...ahh you get it). I think I told one girl that 'I might puke' while I was dancing with her. That ended that kinda fast. My ill success is biting me in the butt today since all I wanna do is snuggle on the couch with someone while sipping hot chocolate.... I even almost called my ex. Spooky and sad at the same time. I gotta kick my game up a notch... winter is long and cold...

Right, so today at work. The whole gang, sans Zhang, went to lunch at Aldrich's and we had the bitchiest old waitress ever! We wanted to use our cards and split the bill and she got all pissy. She only refilled our drinks once, after we'd finished and were parched, and she brought me my appetizer with my meal, even though I canceled it to make our order simple for her. I got this cruddy sandwich on this crumbly bread and then Kiddy points out that it's snowing. Meanwhile, everyone is eating delicious burgers that I decided was "unhealthy" and all that ends up being edible on my plate is fried potato products... yuck.

I wasn't even going to tip the waitress but when she came back and took my plate she saw that there were 2 of the 3 potato pancakes still on it and I didn't want em, so she took em off the bill. That was sweet of her. I was going to pay for them.

The Cell and Virus Building and our new office on Washington is juuuust about as far apart a two buildings can be from each other on campus. So I had to walk through the snow to get to my car and drive back home which was lame, but when I got home I noticed that there was tree where my car had previously been.

We were releasing the new external site today and we... ok, I've been paranoid about it for a while. It's been done behind a firewall for days while. I get back to my desk and I have a zillion messages telling me to push it live, soI have to say at work till it gets publihsed. Anything can go wrong, and a few things do, but in about an hour and a half the new site was up and running and I felt like I just won the Special Olympics but there was no one to celebrate with. Ok Paul was very congratulatory and chicoschika just have me an (e:highfive), I rewarded my self by having breakfast for dinner and I'm prolly just gonna head to ((e:vycious))'s for some Hexic in a minute.

I guess my bad karma had been abated by that measly 3 dolla tip I left that woman, but not so much that I didn't have to walk through the slush, or end up playing video games instead of making... out, but I so what. Really the external has been a group effort and I don't deserve all the credit or reward even if I am the one to give me the reward. Even Paul had something to do with it (he did the flashy banner and the RPCI external is running SurebertCom which makes JavaScripting it very very easy. Thanks Paul)

My phones camera stinks in the dark and it's already dark (more sadness), but I'll try and get a pic of the fallen solider so's you guys will belive my tall tell on my way to hang out with the Hobbit.

If any of you (e:strip)pers wanna hang out tonight, maybe go bowling or something lemme know. I'd like to do something fun and exciting weather or not I deserve it...

NEXT ISSUE The hot girl vs. the Pink VD machine.... Sad, but true!