In a final and feeble attempt at having an actual winter, the ice gods have sent freezing winds and powdery sugar snow to Rochester. After a month without a car (i totalled the last one), i finally got another Outback. Sorry ((e:joe)). It is somewhat beastly in size and i think it should be called Dick Wolf both because i have always found that guy's name to be hilarious and because he makes Special Victims Unit, which suits my car where i'll keep all my special victims. Dick Wolf's coming for you!!

I started my February off right by a visit from ((e:paul)) ((e:terry)) and ((e:joe))! They came to support our squirrely friend Tom, who was djing at my other friend's bar. It was gaytastic and there was much dancing, mom jeans, little bebe boys, and drinks. I cannot stop dancing this month and i positively REFUSE to stop. All dancing all day. Im dancing right now. The weather was so warm that weekend that we walked around after brunch and it felt like a fine spring day. Cobb's Hill resevoir is pleasant place to view my neighborhood and enjoy a rare hill in this flat ass town. For hangover recovery we watched all the hours of The Great British Baking Show and i'm sorry for so much TV, but it is SO GOOD. you all must watch it at once!! The boys also were able to catch a rare glimpse of my elusive partner Jarrett, who they didn't believe existed.
As i sit in this afternoon sun, i must also pat myself on the back for taking a couple of hideous maroon tables discarded by a past roommate and painting them fucking GLITTER GOLD. i love. I made some paper cutouts to use as negative stencils and let the pink color come through. Then i glossed that shit with Minwax Polyacrylic and it made the glitter even glittery-er! I love that stuff so much, i want to drink it and make my insides shiny. I highly recommend it if you're decoupaging or painting some old furniture and want to gloss it. I am planning to do a Morroccan inspired table painting next. Wintercraft is in full effect here, i also finished a giant infinity scarf and assembled a bench and am now moving on to a giant bookshelf and a rug. What do Buffalonians do when it's freezing and you want to hide in your house?













Why does estrip upload four of pics and then exclude some

Two weeks ago some of the Rochesters took to the road to go to Brushwood before it becomes snowy. I stopped along the way and bought a car, which was rather funny because my sweet VW was packed with camping gear that I had to transfer to the new car. I will miss the Jetta, but not paying to have it fixed.

There was NO ONE at Brushwood, the bored girl at the registration desk looked annoyed that she had to stop smoking and check us in. Jarrett had never been camping before so this was a beautiful place to start! We gathered together to say goodbye as it was the anniversary of Chopstix leaving and so Marc and Holly bought luminaries to set off to remember all of the lost people from this year. It was a lovely send-off, Chopstix' lantern didn't follow the same trajectory as the others and it also hung mysteriously in the air longer than the others without moving. so that was sweet.


Jarrett set off his lantern for his friend Derrick


Holly bought us all bracelets


The weather was beautiful and it was perfect for sunning and swimming and sunning and swimming, the eternal cycle that i love best. i also love not wearing clothing EVER. There were no children in the pool, no people except a few stragglers (i.e. the old people who pay to visit for the day and be nude)

Somehow, Jarrett got into the sugar patch and it really coursed through his veins like pure cocaine. He flipped out and was jumping up and down, dancing on a stump, breaking logs and accidentally smashing a clown.

That place is magical, I thank Casey for inviting me there for the first time. I love it so very much.

So a few weeks ago was the Naked bike Ride in buffalo and i dragged my lumpy pale self out and onto the bike for the first time in a year. Thank you joe, for your comittment to human powered conveyance. It was the most refreshing bike ride i have ever been on and i only want to ride naked from now on. Vagina on bike seat be damned! It was glorious to see so many people out there and everyone watching seemed delighted and supportive. It made me love Buffalo and brought warmth to my cold cold heart. The after ride nude party was equally delightful and splendidly drunken, wherein i demanded that all balls be placed on my face and i attempted (ineffectively) to snatch gold stars from some of these handsome young men. Girl can't help herself.

Sunday i returned home from a party a bit drinky and i plunked onto the futon on my porch for a cooling night breeze. It was then that i felt a lumpy cold item on my leg and flipped the blanket to reveal.... A lovely red plastic toy gun!! What a pleasure! Where did it come from? I had not laid a gun, i asked my neighbors and they had not. My friend chris had laid on the porch the night before, but it had not slipped from his pockets. WHERE DID IT COME FROM?
I fell asleep that night, clicking the little trigger jn my hands happily. ...
The next day i was on the futon again, this time in daylight when i folded back the porch blanket to reveal TWO MORE IDENTICAL RED GUNS. i was in sheer delight!!! The mystery continued until my friend Arden asked me if i got my prize. He had found them at a yard sale and thrown them up two floors to perfectly land on the futon. Thanks arden!!

For some readon when i post one photo it comes up three times and takes forever!!

Anyway, last weekend i went to Allen St Consulting's party because i am a very wealthy client and they handle all of my most delicate taxation affairs with discretion and ingenuity. Or, i like parties. I can't remember. It was fun though. I always enjoy making everyone motorboat my boobs and laying around on the floor playing with Paul's stomach. on the way there, i ran into a flower selling guy on the road and i said hello and he said i was lookin fine, "wish someone would buy me flowers, baby!" I exclaimed. He then walked over and gave me a rose for free. So if you're on Best Ave. buy roses from that guy.

I know you buffalo bitches don't want to ever visit rochester, but i'm telling you, SPRINGTIME IS MAGIC TIME. the whole world turns pink and dreamy, like a fluffy, fragrant vagina. Highland Park is a wonderland of petals and grinning people and me. It is impossible to capture in photo the sensation of walking on flowers and smelling flowers and being under flowers and eating flowers and talking about flowers and giving birth to flowers.

The world is on the cusp of bursting with fragrant pink blossoms. Highland Park is right by my house and is this lovely little gem of an Olmstead park and i love it so very much. In spring, the paths are paved with petals and wondering visitors trip along the paths and grin at each other and find blowjobs in the bushes and lay on blankets and look at the sky. Magical gift to be anle to plan a space that you will never get to see, that's why i love freeivk law olmstead.
It was the perfect way to end my sweaty work day that was interrupted by a quick fisting at the gyno office and blood work vampires

I feel that the harbinger of spring for Miss Masumi is not, in fact, pussy willows and robin's songs. It is the frightening arrival of the Squash Beetle. My entire childhood after we moved to our house (i grew up in a trailer, yo!), every spring a strange and horrible bug would appear without fail and without warning in my room. Generally I would be sitting on the floor making art or masturbating or something and I would hear the telltale flutter/buzz of it's wings and dread would well up in me as the slow moving, creeper bug would make it's way toward me. Large, plodding and aimless, I don't know why I felt menace from it. I also had this sensation that the bug was a spirit creature and it had some mystical significance. (I was a crystal gypsy type kid even when I was really young, sorry Science) I awaited the arrival with a sort of terror and ecstasy. On one occasion, we were driving in our creepy raper van and my sister was sitting way in the back and the windows were open. Suddenly something flew in a max speed and smashed on the back window, splattering onto her cheek. It was one of Visitor Bugs and it was full of EGGSSSSSSS!!! ugh. Another time, when I was older, I had a friend over to the apartment and it was spring and lo! The Visitor arrived again and this time landed upon my friend as she huddled under a blanket. Solomon and I were horrified yet unable to kill or capture it. Finally, in my old age, I figured out that it's a squash beetle and it probably doesn't even have a mouth and is really dumb. But I still find it creepy.


My co-workers groom me every day because I can barely brush my hair or put on pants in the morning. The other day, one of them made my hair look like some kind of sea mollusk.



Took a walk with my friend to Cobb's Hill, which is a very charming spot with a view of Rochester and a lovely resevoir. The sun was setting and it made everything glow magically.



Saturday night Liz and I went to see Norm Talley at 45 Euclid. My friend Jim opened for him and he did a really great job. It was definitely a show for househeads, so it was like a family reunion and basically all friends dancing around with each other, which i LOVE and everyone was grinning from ear to ear and hugging each other and it wasn't just from the drugs, either. Buffalo people came down for it too! Norm was great and it was packed and sweaty, the way I like it. Until my friend Alicia started tripping out and got grabby and rapey with everyone, which I found amusing, but apparently other people did not. Even the security guards were in a good mood and were dancing around because there was nothing to be crabby about. Because when the music is good, you can't be too authoritative and douchey.

I'm sorry little E Strip, you have been neglected for a while. Allow me to fill you with my inane drivel.

A couple of weeks ago I went home to visit my family, which was nice. We pretty much sit in the living room and my parents stare at their iPads while i do crafts and we listen to music. so, pretty much like hanging out with anyone these days. Unfortunately, I have to cap off these weekends by going to goddamn church with them on Sunday. It's the WORST. I learned my Instant Daydreaming skills from years of going to church. In any conference, conversation, or listening situation, I can instantly slip into a mind coma without even trying. so while they talk about jesus and behaving yourself at all times, I can be imagining that i'm getting fucked by a unicorn or whatever.
my sister and i do not look alike


I also attended the birthday party of my friend Lindsay, who is shorter than me, so I always like hugging her. Rare occasion for me to feel like the taller one. Arden also had his birthday on the same day.


After the churchy afternoon, I landed in Buffalo and went to a backyard time with Mike and Dave and played a glorious game of night bocce. i am a big fan of everyone throwing balls all at once. when i was in high school i remember making everyone throw dodgeballs and handballs and any kind of balls at the same time because i like the chaos of it and the aesthetic wildness of that one second in time when the air is filled with balls. i guess i just love balls.


you know, instead of beating licorice or bathing licorice, we have EATING licorice. only for special occasions


the farm supply store had little chicks in tubs that you could buy like they were potting soil or something. they were so cute i wanted to make a coat of them. hot chicks.

My boss' husband grows misty eyed at the thought of the italian ricotta chceesecakes of his Brooklyn youth. After many failed attempts at making it himself, he abandoned the project. So, for his birthday i thought i'd surprise him by having one made by my dear chef Dayna, who formerly worked at Rocco (my favorite italiannplace in rochester)
I was going to film the whole process for him but clearly i have the attention span of a toddler and this is all i got. At least you can learn to make some ricotta!




And you can use our abundant snow drifts for cooking! Harold adored his cheesecake and it was gone in a day.