It just got me thinking about how my mind works , how screwed up I am and the task that lies ahead for me to correct it and get myself healthy. If speaking to a friend last week I realized that the prospect of losing $2700 did not scare me as much as say "attempting to start a relationship." Deep down inside I may have knows subconsciously that the market would turn and the "Fed Frenzie" would not last as reality of how much the economy sucks will bring everything back down to earth. So yea I can drop that kind of money and it would bother me as much as say going out to bars and trying to pick someone up to get laid. Which is a task that most people perform with no shame as the transaction happends every day everywhere in the world. Yea, I would like to get to the point where I MARRY the women of my dreams, but i have to start somehwere & I'm getting way too freaking old to have this Social Anxiety keep me living in a life of fear.
So yea, e:Vincent would rather lose money on Wall St or in a Casino than face the prospect of rejection by a Woman that he iis attracted to.
I should post about this later, but I just had to get this out in it's basic form, since this is somehting that must be addressed and fast.
permalink: http://estrip.org/articles/vincent/47158.html
Words: 433 -- Youngstown, NY




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