...or was he?
Sorry kids, I have no tales of alleged depravity to tell. Despite the advance disclosures piquing my
e:twisted,40182 interest, I couldn't bring myself to ask the guy sitting across from me for specifics. At least not at Starbucks over a Tazo tea. Although I'm sure the Market and 10th Street crowd has heard it all.
He did give me a golden opportunity when he asked if there was anything else I'd like to ask him. Since he had wisely ignored the question when I asked it by email, I decided to do the same and instead referred back to the only other question I had asked. Yes, he does have a grill. But it's inconveniently located in Oakland, NOT Hayes Valley as one would assume from the location indicated by his post. (I really hate that. But at least he works near Hayes Valley, so I let him get away with it.)
Anyway -- long story short -- I don't see myself traipsing over to Oakland for an impromptu BBQ. (Or taking him up on his offer to bring his grill to me. If I had a place to grill, I'd get my old grill back. But right now, the only feasible grilling spot would almost certainly set the house on fire. And I didn't go through hell to get the place the way I want it to burn it down.)
I also don't see myself exploring whatever his perception of "strange ways" might be. There's just no attraction there. And he didn't strike me as someone who would have much to elaborate on the topic. (Although as he put it in his email this morning, "do psychopaths ever look like one?" True enough! Whatever that means.)
Now, I know what you're thinking (or would be thinking if you had read his whole post).
How did I distill his heart-wrenchingly epic self-portrait down to those two questions? I admit it, I'm a woman of simple needs. And right now one of those needs is grilled meat. You have no idea how far that could get you.
I do have my limits though. Ok, maybe I let my imagination run away with me, especially since his post was extremely tame by craigslist standards. But when I got the reply back from "nursemalenurse@somewhere.non," my first thought was naturally, "oh, he's a male nurse." THEN I started thinking, wait a minute. Maybe he just likes to impersonate a male nurse. Or impersonate a male impersonating a female nurse. Or maybe he's a male who likes to nurse. Or maybe male nurse is code for something I never even dreamed of. Yeah, that's probably it.
Well, turns out he is indeed a male nurse (rehab and detox). Don't know about any of the other stuff, but as you can imagine, from there it was a short jump to all kinds of other possible conclusions hidden between the lines. As I've written before, I'm not big on
labels, so clues like that are likely to go right over my head. I may have overcompensated in this case, though. Still, as much as I love animals, if you're looking for a partner in bestiality, I'm not the girl for you. That much I know for sure. (What you do on your own time with a consenting animal is your own business, though.)
Back to the posting board!
