After almost six months e:mrdeadlier,41685 I am now officially sterile.

I thought it would be kind of sad or emasculating but it is in fact quite the opposite. The word "liberating" comes to mind.

I love my two kids, and I would love all three if a medical miracle were to occur in the future, but I don't understand why couples willfully choose to be outnumbered in their own home. Forget that.

Man-to-man is difficult enough -- I can't imagine moving to zone coverage.

April 3, 2008.

First and foremost: for those unaware, I'm kind of a big Star Wars nerd. Not as much as I used to be when the prequels were in full swing, but still definitely more than is probably healthy.

Last night our four year old got her first real taste of the GFFA (galaxy far far away, for you who are not hip to the lingo). I've let her see little snippets here and there but this was the first time I sat her down to take in a full movie; my wife and I decided Episode IV was the best place to start.

She was doing great -- asking questions ("this isn't real right?"), pointing out observations about Imperial wardrobe, you know... providing insight and feedback that only a preschooler can -- until she fell asleep shortly after the arrival at the Death Star.

She stayed home from school yesterday and today so I'm blaming it on her being under the weather and not because she found it boring. That would inconceivable. I think.

Maybe tonight we can finish it up, or perhaps this weekend since she's probably going to be doing a lot of laying around.

The Bills/Fins game is in Toronto.

Nothing is sacred.

5 years and counting until the move.

Laugh if you want, but my heart breaks over the idea of my kids growing up without the Bills in Buffalo.

I got this from 2 people over the past 2 days. I know "FREE 411" is the real deal but some of this stuff just reeks of incorrectitude. I'll probably hit Snopes later to see what I can find but in the meantime: here, enjoy...

Subject: 5 things you never knew your cell phone could do

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave
emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.

Check out the things that you can do with it

FIRST

Emergency

The Emergency Number worldwide for
Mobiles is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your
mobile; network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND

Have you locked your keys in the car?

Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy
someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

Editor's Note:
'It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!'

THIRD

Hidden Battery Power

Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.

FOURTH

How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 # A 15 The 8digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code.

They will then be able to block your handset so even
if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

And Finally....

FIFTH

Free Directory Service for Cells


Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411
information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a
telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial: (800) FREE 411, or (800) 373-3411 without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now.

This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends

Hey all, long time no see.

Tomorrow night I'm participating in a mock draft at the Roadhouse Grill near the McKinley Mall (I think).

Participants got to choose what team they wanted to draft for and since my Bills were already claimed, I chose the Bengals. They're a distant, distant second or third favorite team. My uncle lives in the 'nati so I've got a little tie to them.

But most importantly I get a free dinner so score!

Should be fun. I love me some football and the draft is always a nice shot in the arm during the cold, cold offseason.

I don't know if it's on air (I imagine it would be) so give a listen around 6 tomorrow night if you want.

So instead of taking Sedrick Ellis like all the mock drafts have the Bengals taking, I figured I'd shake it up and take Devin Thomas at #9, the 6'4"(?) WR out of Michigan St whom most mock draft authors predict the Bills taking at #11. I figured with Chris Henry getting cut, Ocho Cinqo throwing temper fits, and the whole Tab Perry fiasco, the Bungles could use a new pair of hands.

The dude picking for the Bills ended up taking Mike Jenkins, a CB instead anyways.

The highlight though was when the guy picking for Baltimore selected a punter at #8 overall. This may not make sense to you but if I tell you he was wearing a Browns jersey it might, lol.

So I'm running late to our Web Team meeting today and as I walk past this woman in the hall, she says "Del?"

I turn around and see this face I so barely recognize. My first thought is, "Oh snap this is someone I'm supposed to know! Is it a girl I went to high school with? A friend of my wife's?" I was totally drawing a blank.

Acknowledging my stupor, she says "I'm Janelle."

I'm thinking "Janelle? What? That doesn't help."

Acknowledging my continuing stupor, she says "E:Janelle."

I was guffawed. Until today my only knowledge of her (and most of you who are reading this) was a 125 pixel wide avatar. You know how it is when (as e:enknot describes it) the people who only exist in your computer cross your path in the real world. It kinda blows your mind a little bit.

I wanted to grab her by the shoulders, shake her and yell "You're not supposed to be real!" But that might have been inappropriate.

Seriously though, I guess she was supervising someone whose case she handles or whatever. Strange that out of all the buildings in the city that needed cleaning, it was mine (and e:paul's and e:enknot's and e:jon's and e:fing's) that they ended up at. Cool!

e:janelle, it was nice meeting you in real life! Sorry I couldn't stick around for 5 minutes and chat but you know how it is... Work... Anyway, I guess we're one step closer to hanging out and chatting up about the awesomeness that is Derek Webb, et al...