its much easier to get what you want if you just make it known. and even if you don't get it, you will be happier knowing you spoke your mind.

ps. exercise and eating right are addictive.

waking up at 530 to workout. i hate it.


but i love the results im getting already and its only been a few weeks.



it takes hard work and dedication, and a verrrrrry early bedtime.


i have given up social life for exercise.

clouds be gone. this is too buffalo-esque.


this whole not spending money thing sucks. aruba better be worth it.

so, all i do is exercise and eat healthy now.

this morning hiking, i saw two helicopters, they kept circling around and my cousin and i were trying to figure out what was going on.

no other people on the trail. somewhat early morning. weirdness!

then we got to the very tippy top and there was a group of people sitting.... we checked out the view, and began going down.

i made a joke about how i wasn't going to carry my cousin down if she fell...

then we see at least ten firemen(only 1 hottie) coming up, with a bunch of stuff and a stretcher on wheels. they asked how much further, and i told them just a few minutes. they asked if we wanted to help, somewhat joking, somewhat serious. i think by the sign of their drenched shirts they were pretty tired.

anyway, turns out it was all over the news... an older lady we having chest pains.

so, new note to self... bring cell phone even though it is annoying to have stuff when running down... because i may need a rescue someday.

oh, and i did 500 crunches today. i am obsessed.

i would like a library because books are my favorite. i like the way they smell, and the way they look on shelves.

how amazing would it be to have thousands of books in your home to choose from at any time?

i would also like a smart man who likes to read; who will read to me, maybe even picture books sometimes- but only the award winning ones with really beautiful pictures.

this is my new dream. because my dream of a tropical beach vacation has already come true!

i must say, despite tough times, my life is goooood.

i am also really proud of myself because i have exercised every day for the last three weeks, which is the longest bout i have had i think since high school, and by the time my beach vacation rolls around i will really be in shape.

on a completely random note, there is this dr. who is always trying to take me out, but he says just as friends, and he is def old enough to be my father, but i really like him. i mean i like talking to him, because he is so intelligent and interesting and he has travelled everywhere, plus he is insane. i wonder, why i only attract the old ones... older men are so much better, but only as friends. and the young ones act like idiotic spastic children.

i am on an indefinite man-cott. i am focusing on building up my collection of books and exercise only.

real housewives of new jersey.


money can buy you lots of things: too much eye liner, too much botox, too big fake breasts, too much tacky clothing, and bad hair.

i love this show, these women are insane and insanely rich and they have the tackiest @#$% ever!

they also start major wars and gang up on each other, it's like that group of pretty girls in hs but they are in their 40s and they still do the same things, but with kids and cheating husbands and giant houses and way too much time on their hands!

klassy! go jersey. go housewives, stir up the drama and the drinks!

if the opportunity arose...


i feel like men will say yes and women(most women) no.

for about three months now everything, and every time i eat i get sick.

i finally have insurance and went to the doctor and she put me on a high fiber diet. my diet was pretty much already high fiber, but this is taking is too far i feel.


the fiber supplements are making me more sick, and it's been five days since i started taking them. i will give them another week and then i quit.

i am staring to get in shape, and my stomach is pretty flat, but you would never know because i constantly look 15 pounds heavier because of all of the bloating, and i was supposed to go to the lab for tests today, but i couldn't get there because i was up at 530 and sick until 11 and at that point i was so thirsty and hungry, i couldn't fast anymore and needed to eat.

i will go get the tests done tomorrow morning no matter what, i am so sick of feeling this way, and i am pretty much miserable and uncomfortable most of the time.

i just cant wait to find out what is wrong with me. i hate fiber, and i am beginning to feel bad about food.

i have to be at the lab for three hours, which is a long time, so hopefully my body can behave.

on the upside, at least i am finally going to figure it all out!!!!

going to apply for le passport now...

if you google video chat... my photo is one of the first to show in the image section.



apparently e:paul and i are in a long distance relationship according to some website that wrote a story about video chatting to keep in touch.

so, i try and sign in and stay invisible otherwise i get all sorts of creeps and teens trying to chat with me....


my friend is mad at me because i told her she is ridiculous for not wanting to exercise because she will have to wash her hair again. i think being healthy is more important than having clean hair. and then she yelled at me and said she is not going to listen to me next time and get ready for the day before she works out.

oh, im sorry i forced you to go to the movies with me betch, but are you kidding me? the whole thing sounds like pure laziness, and i am trying to be a good friend and help you get into shape.

laziness does not pay off, and having to wash your hair one extra time will not matter in the end.

i just left, and now i am going to force myself to go out and hike, and its hot and i don't feel like it, and my hair will be soaked with sweat but my body will thank me later.

ps. a shower takes a few minutes......

i was trying to find the lab this morning so i can finally spend three hours of fun here to get my tests done...

im already in a bad mood because i haven't eaten in 14 hours, and then i can't find the place because in az it's all one giant complicated plaza away from the street with no big signs. i swear there is all these interesting places i have no clue about because in ny everything is close the street and everything has big signs.

it's my number one pet peeve about this place, plazas that are impossible and never ending.

anyway, then this creeper in a cab starts following me and acting like he is helping me while really checking me out and trying to hit on me. sorry, but i am not dating right now, and esp not a cab driver. and a bald one at that.

he followed me to my car and i just ignored him and drove away. ewww.

i still follow the rules of stranger danger, so stay away creepers!