this makes me laugh every time i look at it. just think e:paul, if i hadn't moved away our weekends could be me in white curtains and you wearing a computer something!

so, my friend wants me to go out tonight to console this girl who is broken-hearted. you know me, i love any excuse to get dressed up and have fun.

but, working every weekend takes its toll on me, especially with how insane work has been. i had three exams this week and then two next week, my first on monday at 730 am.

although i am doing well in the class, i feel like the next two days will be zero fun and actually miserable for just a few hours of glamour.

lately i feel like i am always making social plans and then breaking them, but sleep is so much more important than it used to be.

plus, alcohol only makes me sick now when i drink it. this development started a while ago, and it seems that even just one glass of wine gives me a massive headache, and then i get tired and fall asleep.

i still like to go out, i just "pretend" that i am drinking.

i don't know, am i supposed to suck it up and go out and be tired because i am young and fun?

plus tomorrow is mothers day, and even though i have to work, so does my momma and even though we will both be at work, i don't want to be tired and cranky.

my legs hurt, and my back, and my neck, because the chairs at work are absolute crap, and i actually spend most of my time on my feet, and i need new sneakers with arch support.

i think this turned into one giant complaint.

did you know that there is somewhere between 5 and 30 million species of plants and animals? we only know of 10% of these and by the next century 50% will be extinct. this makes me sick, and i am an environmental glutton, which is more sick.

i am going to eat dinner... with meat involved which is also bad for the environment.

so i have been feeling really weird about blogging lately. sometimes i feel like technology is ruining real human relationships.

how often do we pick up the phone and call people nowadays? instead, we cyber stalk, follow people's facebook and twitter, and read their blogs to find out what is going on with them.

this makes me feel so uncomfortable. i guess because i automatically deem all people sketchy and it seems like all of this tech stuff enables people to have such a "pretty" display of who they are, without really getting to know them.

im going back to the old days of person to person contact.

ok, and i do like to text when i am bored.

i chose to keep this blog because it has so much to do with my life the last 4 years. most of my closest friends blog here, and i like knowing that i can get opinions and updates on people's lives, and it feels special because it is unique and small and community like.

i deleted my facebook. i found myself disliking it more and more, and rarely using it. most of my "friends" there are not real friends, so why do they need to know about me? plus facebook keeps changing and i find it annoying.

i don't really care what people are up to... and don;t care to post what i am up to. if i do care, i will call you, or come see you.

that being said, i am going to try and blog more often here this summer!

the weather here has been absolutely amazing and i am looking forward to lots of pool time!

for mother's day, i am surprising my mom and taking her to the exhibit at the botanical gardens here they are having a chihuly show.



it should be pretty cool, and then we are going to some new mexican place she read about. would have celebrated last sunday but we both worked and technically i bought her breakfast and lunch that day, so she is spoiled but she is the best and most fav person of mine so she deserves it!

see ya later peeps!

and i just can't hide it. you get the point!

e:deeglam is coming to visit me in july!!! for 4th of july weekend, and that one of my fav holidays, because it involves sun and swimming and yummy barbeque food and margaritas and fireworks!

i really think this is going to be my fav 4th ever which is hard to top since the last two were so much fun!

i have to say i am so glad we have reconnected because hse is kinda the last of my childhood friends i am actually in contact with, the others i seem to have fallen out of touch with, or we both changed so much, or they turned out to be bad friends.

anyway, i am so so so happy she is coming, and it really makes me feel good that she is coming all the way here for a visit because no one ever comes to visit me minus e:hodown who comes all the time, but its cool because we lost touch for a while and it's good to know that even though you go through rough patches the true friends always find their way back and it's even better than before!

hurray for friends!!!!!! :O)

i attribute the title of my post to e:hodown who had something about the salute in a previous journal.

so, i am saluting all of the jerks and liars out there and the world seems to be filled with them.

in general i really do try and do right by people. sure sometimes i slip up and i end up on the jerk side, but one thing i am not is a liar. i never pretend to be someone i am not, it's here take it or leave it. i am not a genius or super accomplished at this point or really accomplished at all. i am not the nicest or the most in shape or the prettiest or the hardest worker.

i am just me.

now what i don't understand is why so many people live their life in a huge lie. just be you, it's better than putting on a mask, because eventually people will see through that mask.

i have had people say to me, "your world is so small", well i prefer to keep it that way because i have a system of taking out the trash. most people are actually not worth getting to know because they will screw you over the first chance they get, or they will just play you for a fool and take advantage of you.

i think so many women maybe don't feel this way because they take everything at face value, but i expect more from people. the world is not sugar coated and i don't just ignore the bad things.

this week alone, i have discovered more than one person living a huge lie. and i actually feel sorry for these people because they are putting so much energy into something that isn't real.

why bother?

i just don't understand!!!!! why don't people care about being decent and treating others with respect and dignity???

for now, i will keep my circle small, because i have no room for false pretenses, and i don't want to hand out anymore "double middle finger salutes."

(okay, maybe i want to hand out just a few more.)

and on a completely random note, you should check out this book: Nine Parts of Desire: The Hidden World of Islamic Women by Geraldine Brooks. if i was an islamic women and had a blog, and i had written this blog, i would surely be stoned to death tomorrow. the reality of what those women face day to day is enough to provide nightmares for months.

so apparently i get in trouble at work for things i don't even do.

it's bad enough that my boos texs and calls me when i'm not at work.

but today, i left my phone at home because sometimes it's nice to just be without it.

then i get home and check my messages and i have a text from my boss saying, "stop texting put you phone away please."

wtf?????


i didn't even have my phone at work today????? how could i be texting without my phone?

so someone told her i was using my phone when i wasn't, or she made this up?? i am confused.

i responded and told her this was not possible as i didn't even have my phone at work.


i suppose it's the icing on the cake for a whole week that just makes this whole week the shittiest in a while.

at least i have a few weeks break from school, and every spare moment will be spent by/in the pool ignoring society.

to e:terry, yes the suit is in my closet, and i want to get rid of it.

so apparently, it was one of the charge nurses who called my boos and told her i was texting.

again, i didn't have my phone yesterday.

i asked her about it, and she proceeded to tell me i was texting all day yesterday and i was talking on the phone all day and im lazy and that's all i do.

yes, i do talk on the phone all day, it's huge part of my job.

i'm not lazy, i'm extremely efficient at getting done what needs to get done. there is only so much paperwork to do.

also, i'm not allowed to leave the desk, so if i'm not moving around, it's because i'm supposed to sit there and answer the phones.

also, she told me i seem like i don't really like my job. well, really i don't but it's ok sometimes.

but really, i am getting in trouble because i don't kiss her ass and i don't love my job??? i do my work and i'm dependable.

so now with all of the rules enforced: i am no longer allowed to use my cell phone in any way, use the internet, leave the desk w/o permission, read a book or magazine if my work is done, look unhappy about anything...

and they wonder why they can't keep staff they are the *&^%$#@ rule nazis.

maybe they should pay attention to people who actually don't get their work done...

he is calling me and asking me to come out and play but i must work.

i was supposed to get the entire weekend off, but the other sec. needed saturday off, so i was only off yesterday.

now i must work mon-wed, and then off thurs/fri and on next weekend.

and next weekend is a holiday which will be the third consecutive holiday i've worked. somehow this doesn't add up.

oh well i get time and a half for holidays.

i just thank god i don't have to work work with the crazy this week who makes up stories about my non-compliance and cell phone usage.

i can't wait until thursday, when i can return to book reading and the pool. my two current fav things.

i am going to aruba in sept with a friend for a wedding.

plus e:deeglam is coming in july and we are going to resort it up here.

so, i have a little mini-fun weekend plus a big vaca to save for!

i think i am going to start looking for an extra job, just to bring a undred or two more home a week to save.

i think in addition to already having a f/t job and then working a few hours at my other job, and taking summer classes i am really just going to have no social life.

but i have little of such as it is.

anyway, i'm really happy and excited about all of these fun plans!!!!


i already have a fancy designer dress for the wedding, oh lala!

i need to start my workout plan!

women tell other women not to trust men.


but really they are trying to divert your attention because it is other women you can't trust.


most will knock you when you're down, and then try and deny it later.


i have less of a problem with men because most don't pretend to be completely honorable.

i'm going in the pool now.