Lilho's journal on e:strip™ - Buffalo, NY's Original Neighborhood Blogging Community (estrip v5.0)

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Lilho's Journal from 02/2007

02/02/07 23:46 - 19ºF - ID#37975Category: automobilemiracle of life

i locked my keys in my car. this is the third time and less than three months.

i have lost way too many brain cells, or just wasnt born w/common sense.

either way:

*not only were the keys in the car, but it was on. from 12p until 11p.

*what a magical little car!~

permalink: http://estrip.org/articles/lilho/37975.html

Words: 55 -- Buffalo, NY

02/03/07 12:46 - 12ºF - ID#37980Category: winterthis is getting serious...

i now have to literally force myself out of the house.

for one of four things:

school

work

food

entertainment

*i wish the coldness to end.

wish it was more like this...

0207/DSCN01740203.jpg

permalink: http://estrip.org/articles/lilho/37980.html

Words: 40 -- Buffalo, NY

02/03/07 21:13 - 13ºF - ID#37996Category: quiz69...

69 confession questions

1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
somebody i love, or somebody fun.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
always

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
lalker, big time

4. Do you take compliments well?
i think so

5. Do you play Sudoku?
no, numbers bother me

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
maybe, people can be capable of more than they are aware of.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
yes. every summer, and i missed my mother dearly and cried a lot.

9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
cant remember

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you?
no, no, no. not a cheater or a cheater helper...

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
sure

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
both

14. Use three words to describe yourself?
outgoing, outspoken, spontaneous

15. Do any songs make you cry?
perhaps

16. Are you continuing your education?
yup

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
hell no

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
photos

19. How often do you read books?
always reading something

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
past, future...

21. What is your favorite children's book?
The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein

22. What color are your eyes?
brown

23. How tall are you?
5 feet 5 inches

24. Where is your dream house located?
the bahamas, hawaii, south of france

25. Best vacay ever?
whichever one comes next

26. Coolest picture?
not sure

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth
last sunday

28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
yesterday!

29. How about the movies?
marie antoinette, couple of months ago

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
galleria mall

32. Do you like mustard?
grey poupon

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
both.

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
only know my mother, and i love her dearly

35. How long does it take you in the shower?
depends

36. Can you do a split?
sideways

37. What movie do you want to see right now?
bridge to terabithia

39. What did you do for New Year's?
partied at the mansion

40. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
yes, i hated it

41. Do you laugh alot?
if its funny, yes

42. Do you own a camera phone?
yes. dumb question.

44. Was your mom a cheerleader?
hell no

45. What's the last letter of your middle name?
n

46. how many hours of sleep do you get a night?
i strive for at least 8

47. Do you watch MTV?
at work

48. Do you like care bears?
?

49. What do you buy at the movies?
usually nothing

50. Do you know how to play poker?
no. should i?

51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
i try

52. What do you wear to sleep?
depends... usually undies.

53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
lol

54. How many meals do you eat a day?
depends

55. Is your tongue pierced?
nope

56. Do you always read MySpace bulletins?
never

57. Most visited webpage?
perezhilton.com

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
funny

59. Ever been to L.A.?
more than once

60. Did you eat a cookie today?
i did. it made me smile!

61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
merde

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
steal, oops

63. Do you hate chocolate?
me likey

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
ummm... i dont think they have spoken in at least 17 years

65. Are you a gullible person?
extremely

66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
nope, sex...yes

67. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
graphic designer for urban outfitters. getting paid a ton...

68. Are you easy to get along with?
sometimes

69. What is your favorite time of day?
varies

permalink: http://estrip.org/articles/lilho/37996.html

Words: 664 -- Buffalo, NY

02/07/07 19:15 - 14ºF - ID#38058Category: exercisethe gym

i dont feel like going. at all. i have homework to do. two fucking projects due tomorrow. its cold outside, and taking the subway is fun but lots of coldness.

my feet were soaked by the time i got home. im still cold. and tired.

im going anyway. e:paul will be mad if i dont, and so will my body.

gotta look good in those tight ass skinny jeans...

later i shall post about my first fabric printing adventure, and how my professor is somewhat, or a lot scary.

permalink: http://estrip.org/articles/lilho/38058.html

Words: 90 -- Buffalo, NY

02/08/07 17:45 - 18ºF - ID#38072Category: anna nicoleanna nicole smith is dead

what? i am actually sad. and skocked, and i just dont know what to think.

its marilyn monroe #2, with way toom any twists and turns.

RIP ANNA.

0207/ANNA0208.jpg

permalink: http://estrip.org/articles/lilho/38072.html

Words: 31 -- Buffalo, NY

02/20/07 11:58 - 38ºF - ID#38219Category: locationleaving new york

i got home very late last night. it seems nobody ever wants to drive me to/pick me up from the airport. i do it all the time, but alas, i feel that i always put in way more than i get, from anything or anyone these days.

i took a cab home, which was actually fine, because i was really tired and didnt feel like talking to anyone.

the longer i stay here, the more i feel like i dont have enough friends. or really anybody to be there when i really need it. its ok because i learned to be fine on my own, but it would be so nice to live near my sister, or mother and have a friend/loved one always around. i guess im not the kind of person who likes to be fiercely independant. i like knowing that i can get help if i need it. plus, i want to be there for my family as well. i miss them so fucking much i think it actually hurts.

i know i always say, im not going to stay, but this time i really cant. buffalo is such a small little bubble, and i feel like i owe it to myself to want/have more. its so clliquey, and gossipy. i cant leave the house w/o seeing somebody i know, and half of them i dont want to see.

the problem is, where to go? new york is amazing and has basically everything i love, however, i just dont know if i can handle it there. its so big and busy and crowded, and expensive. arizona is beautiful and so is the weather, but it lacks the feel of an old city, which i love. the jobs there are plenty, and the pay is great. i wouldnt be poor like in ny.

i have a huge decision to make, and not very much time to do it.

p.s. the site looks really nice e:paul!

permalink: http://estrip.org/articles/lilho/38219.html

comment CLICK HERE TO ADD A COMMENT!

theecarey writes at 04:02:37 02/21/07 - Comment #15888

if you are feeling the draw to go, then go for it. you've thought about this on and off many times, yes? I can say that the feeling doesnt go away. Dont worry about where you might be happy- you dont really know that until you try out a few places. Start with something familiar- NYC/AZ.. and keep an open mind from there. Life is an adventure, have fun!

ladycroft writes at 03:21:31 02/21/07 - Comment #15887

Wherever you go, there you are. You don't know what's waiting for you out in the world until you jump in it. While you will always carry your heart wherever you go, it is easier to move forward with your life when you're in a new milieu. Change scared into excitment!

jenks writes at 03:04:45 02/21/07 - Comment #15886

Sarah I have to say I agree with you. Not that you necessarily need to leave Buffalo, but that it's a very small town. That is one thing that has always struck me about this town- that it seems the vast majority of people here come from the area (or at least from NY), have never left, and have no intention of leaving. And then are mad at you if you dare suggest there are other places in the country/world worth living besides Buffalo.

And as far as friends/family- mine are the most important people in my life. But, I pretty much think that unless they're in within an hour's drive or so- they are probably a flight away. And if you have to fly, it doesn't really matter so much anymore.

So go where you're happy. And remember- even if you do move somewhere, and you don't love it- you're not stuck there, you can always move again.

Moving to a new city all alone is certainly scary, and difficult. But honestly I think the friends I have made during that process (all alone in a new place, FORCED to go out and meet people) have become closer friends than the 'automatic' ones (people from high school, etc.)

Either way, good luck, and have fun. But you are right. There is more to life than Buffalo. It's a big country, and I think it's silly not to try to get out there and see some of it.

joshua writes at 08:56:49 02/21/07 - Comment #15881

No, there is absolute truth in the sentiment that Buffalo is economically handicapped and is generally a miserable place to live half of the year. Theres nothing "stupid" in admitting that you are better off somewhere else, particularly when you've BEEN THERE several times.

So in this respect, Sarah is correct and certainly so am I.

jason writes at 08:53:58 02/21/07 - Comment #15880

You're right, now is the time if you're going to make a move. You don't want to wait until you have real commitments, a hubby (gasp!) or something else that would make it so that you really couldn't go.

I do have to correct you on something. I do not have my family here, other than Joshua. In fact, half of my family I know nothing about. You see your family about as much as I do, possibly more. I've lived away from my family since I was 18 years old. It's almost 11 years since then.

And when I lived in Jamestown I thought exactly the way you're thinking. This place is too small town. The people are small minded. I am bigger and better than this place. I can't be successful or happy here.

Really I was being ignorant, and I hadn't done a damn thing in my life for myself, even in Jamestown. I blamed my own problems, and lack of money or happiness on Jamestown, which is pretty fucking stupid and thoughtless. Josh talks this way all the time.

The irony is that I have never experienced the kind of unhappiness in Jamestown that I have gone through here in Buffalo (shitty girlfriends, lay offs, "treatment" at multiple clinics).

Do what you think you have to do for yourself and be happy. That's really what is important to all of us. It's good to move around and see different parts of the world. I know both Josh and I plan on leaving someday, possibly California.

lilho writes at 02:52:34 02/21/07 - Comment #15878

jason,

ive really only stayed here because im afraid to go anywhere else else. ive seen so many people move on and be much happier. cold and snow make me very unhappy and im leaning towards az, however, i think family is extremely important, and the members of my family happen to be my friends as well. as i say with most who think im just running away, you have your family here, and it would be much different if you didnt. no matter how much you dislike them, if they are around and you are here, you dont understand. also, a huge part of why i want to leave is for a better life, and brighter future. there is no such thing as clinging to family, if i was clinging to them, i would have left a long time ago. and personally, i think that buffalo for the most part, minus this website and a few other places is very small town and small minded. i want to live more than once place my whole life, and this is a great time to do so...

jason writes at 04:17:49 02/20/07 - Comment #15869

I think you need to give it more thought. You need to know why exactly you are leaving, where you are headed, and why you are going there. Leave if you must, but don't do it because you think your misery is tied to this place, because it is not at all a logical thing to do.

You've already mentioned things you don't like about both AZ and NY. I'm assuming you are considering either. Do you have friends and acquaintances in either place, or would you be clinging to your family?

If you go someplace where you really do only have 1 or 2 people, you have to be prepared to put yourself out there and make new friends. If you aren't ready for that you are going to be extremely unhappy, like I was in my first 6 months here on Elmwood.

(The real reason to go anywhere is to set yourself up for success in the future, and to increase your quality of life. It may or may not work because in the end it is still up to your own ambition and drive to work for these things.)

If I had to choose between NYC and Arizona I would pick Arizona in a split second. It's not even a thought or a choice for me, NYC is visiting material only.

paul writes at 12:51:46 02/20/07 - Comment #15864

I would have picked you up. I told you to call me back if you couldn't find anyone else.

brit writes at 12:43:46 02/20/07 - Comment #15863

yo ho! good to have you back

Words: 333 -- Buffalo, NY

02/21/07 23:46 - 29ºF - ID#29648Category: ageeverybody hates you when you are 23

this is my theme song for the rest of the year. thanks e:hodown.

permalink: http://estrip.org/articles/lilho/29648.html

Words: 14 -- Buffalo, NY

02/22/07 14:14 - 34ºF - ID#38242Category: workim a getting an award

thats right, something to feel good about.

im getting a "lifesaver award" from work for saving a client's life using the heimlich. isnt that swell!

now, if i could only stop coughing and sleeping. my mother has come to the rescuse and is sending anitbiotics stat. im sick of sitting here, but dont really want to venture out and hack up a lung in public, i dont really think that will make me any more popular.

my sister is really sick now too and has missed two days of work. i think it is fair to blame it on me. im really sorry e:hodown. i think perhaps my new nickname "typhoid mary" might me appropriate.

p.s. i think i have decided to move to az...

permalink: http://estrip.org/articles/lilho/38242.html

Words: 132 -- Buffalo, NY

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