This time of year can bum me out. Working retail doesn't help. The mad rush should be over, but now is the time of the mad returns and exchanges. And i truly am sorry that we run out of things; if it were up to me, we would have in the blowdryer/curling iron/flat iron/rollerset/makeup mirror you saw before the holidays. Mainly so i wouldn't have to hear the complaints.

Not having a regular schedule is exhausting to me as well. The manager, for reasons only known to her but i suspect are pure laziness, only puts up the wildly varying schedule a few days before it begins. I only work there about 20 hours a week, so i would think it shouldn't be this taxing on me. Yet how i am expected to plan the remaining portions of my life if i do not know when i am working and when i am not? Oh, yeah, that's right, i guess i am not supposed to. I think i am supposed to wait on the edge of my chair for someone to tell me when i am supposed to spring into action.

Spring into action and be positive when customers call me a bitch for telling them they cannot try on nail polish before they buy it. Spring into action and remain positive when customers come in demanding a refund on a hair colour that did not turn out because they neglected to tell the employee that they currently have black dyed hair... a refund without even the empty box or the receipt? I don't think so.

I would so like to see my father on his birthday, but i don't think it is going to happen this year. Poor sap gets so many "here, this is for Xmas AND your birthday" gifts. So, this January 7th, he is getting a phone call.... and a separate gift i hid in the house that my mom is going to give him.

So, through all the B.S. that is working retail... i am actually trying to remain positive. This is me, cursing under my breath, trying to remain positive...

I Can Has Cheezburger? helps me when i am feeling blah...

I confess. I love Graham Norton. I forgot how naughty he is... and what presenters on the telly in Blighty can get away with. If there is a way for Graham to make a joke dirty, he will manage it. Makes me giggle...

Not too long ago, e:Uncutsaniflush and i dvr'ed an episode on BBC America. We thought the reuniting of the original actors from The Dukes of Hazzard would be amusing. It was.

But it was the last song done by the musical guest that turned into a bit of an obsession (pun intended, see video) for me. His first song about wanting to bed Daisy... uhm, no, he meant Bo and Luke was interesting and amusing. His comedy while chatting on the sofa was strange. But that last song... i needed to have it.

Last night, e:Uncutsaniflush found it for me. And i uploaded it to youtube.

I cannot get this song out of my head. The (fake?) Norwegian rap is amusing... so is the line "i need him like a fat chick hates the gym". Enjoy...

I wonder if all retail is as huge a clusterfuck as my place of employment...

The staff meeting on Sunday was... uhm... interesting. It is facinating to watch your boss lie her ass off to save face in front of her boss. To watch her put others down to make it appear as thought she has been doing her job all along. When really, she has been phoning it in to the very person she is saying is being lazy at work. Huh?

I have had a note taped up on the boss' desk for quite some time that my parents, as birthday and xmas gifts to us this year, are paying for tickets to my cousin, Rob's wedding cruise, and when i needed time off. I recently confirmed those dates with another note. So, when the schedule is done (in advance! *GASP*), i see that i am working days i am not even in town. Interesting.

Seems the manager decided she wanted to take a weeks holiday at the same time. So, i mentioned to her that she is scheduling me for time i cannot work... i did, after all, say i needed from the 4th on off, so why i am i working the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th?! Another note with our itinerary was written. I wonder if she will have me working right up until the moment i leave? Probably.

What she doesn't know is that i need an additional day off... i just let her believe that it is part of the trip.

I am signed up to write and open competitive civil service exam to be a Developmental Disability Aide Trainee for the state of NY. On the 5th of February, the day before my birthday. The higher my score, the higher up on the waiting list i go. Scary good.

The only issue with that might be transportation. e:Uncutsaniflush is working so much, he might not be able to drive me. And the test is in West Seneca not near any bus route (i checked, NFTA said that there were no stops within walking distance of my destination). I am usually so organized about things. All my ducks in a row before i say i can or cannot do something. I wonder how much a cab would cost from the West Side to West Seneca? Anyone want to be my car service?

In other news, my Grandfather continues to spiral downhill. e:LeeTee,42687 No retirement home (or as they say here Assisted Living Facility) would take him because he needed far too much attention and guidance.

His health is decent... well, except for the strokes they think he keeps having. He has gone for MRI's and tests and been poked and prodded. I don't think he understands what is going on. Which might be a good thing for him. Seems he kept saying his life amounted to nothing, and when my mom or dad reminded him of what he had done, he would say, "I did that!?!"

He has been living with my parents for a week or so. He couldn't live alone. And my parents have a home business. Imagine bringing what is essentially a large toddler to work every day. No attention span or memory, the inability to be able to get to the bathroom and back alone. It has been very difficult for my mom. Not just because it is her father and they have always had a rocky relationship, but because the burden of caring for him in the morning and during most of the day falls on her. She had a tightly scheduled life before this and a very busy business, so i suspect she is stressed, to say the least.

I tears my heart out to not be able to help. To not be able to be there to help her help her father. Or help her at work. I offered to help, but my work schedule, e:Uncutsaniflush's schedule and the fact that i do not have a driver's licence all conspire to leave me unable.

Finally, however, today, being at the top of the critical wait list has paid off. He has a placement today... not too far from my parents.

And, as planned, this afternoon, e:Uncutsaniflush and i are heading into Stoney Creek this afternoon to help my mom out at my grandpa's condo. I think she wants me to pick out things i want before they pack things up. Personally, none of that really matters to me, but it matters to her, so i will go do it. If it helps her, i will do it. I hope to be able to help her pack some things up, too. If not today, then in the future, once the place is sold.

*sigh*

About an hour ago, my mom called. She had a consult with my grandfather's g.p. this morning. The ct scan shows cloudy areas in his brain. Right now, they are saying the clouds are tumors. So, turns out he isn't crazy, doesn't have senile dementia or alzheimers. Instead, he just might be terminally ill. They (my mom and her brother -- his only 2 children) are going to confirm the diagnosis with more tests and an oncologist. They probably are not going to tell him. His g.p. suggested it might make the rest of his life a panic without him understanding or knowing why.

Not just a monthly phenomena