I am having one of those breakdown moments.
It's the end of the semester...like, really.

I just got home and checked my student email and was overloaded with all this shit.

Deadlines about when to register for next semester.
I don't even know what the hell I am doing next semester. Do I sign up for thesis guidance? How many credits do I take? Do I get financial aid? Who is going to be my second adviser?

THEN
I got an email from the library telling me that two of the books I am using for one of my research papers were RECALLED. What a bunch of bullshit. Someone else needs the books so they get them?? What the fuck. They missed out. I have them because I need them...I don't just take out shit tons of books for the fun of it. Why is it that because they, the late bird, want the book I have to return it early? You'd think that maybe at least my option to renew would be taken away. I might be able to handle that, but no, I gotta give them back on Monday...three weeks before my paper is due. Maybe once I return them I can recall them and get them back.

AND THEN
another email from the library...I supposedly have a book that was due today. But I swear to whoever that I returned that shit. I take books very seriously. I respect them and keep track of them and godamit I returned that shit. And, I have no proof. They don't give receipts or anything that says you returned your books. You put them on the desk and walk out. So I have no proof and therefore will either have to pay for the damn book that is floating around somewhere in that giant library or have my library privileges revoked, which ultimately is out of the question.

For those students out there...you surely understand. It seems like everything that can go wrong usually does when you have 4, 20 page research papers to write. Like I don't have enough shit on my plate right now I have to worry about all this other shit. Ug. I am sooooo mad.

tation?

i know that's not how you spell it.

i met with my professor on Saturday at spot coffee. it was weird... it was one of the things that screams, i am a graduate student, no longer an undergrad. we talked for an hour about a paper i am writing right now about a haunted plantation in Louisiana and, gasp, my thesis. I think I actually have a topic and theory for the thesis, which is crazy exciting and crazy nerve wrecking all at once. this professor is amazing. she gives me just enough praise to keep my feeling capable and good but not too much so that i don't stop questioning myself and my ideas. she still intimidates that shit outta me but i know its not because i am scared of her, but because she has taught me so much and i know i still can learn so much from her.

felly got a new blackberry. right now i have her old phone but soon i am getting an (orange!) boulder!! its a super chunky heavy duty phone cause i don't really aesthetically like the super thin streamlined ones...they make me nervous.

in other news...there is snow on the ground! this is like...real snow. last time it snowed, by the time i had ralphie outside it was mostly watery crystals that didn't cover the ground. i can't wait to see what he thinks this time.



Ralphie's newest sweater



Ralphie's first real snow!

oh my oh my. i have to drive the 4 odd hours home today in the yucky wet snow. i only really have two concerns. the first being dumb ass mother fuckers who don't know how to drive on the thruway and, once I get of the safety of the highways and enter into the deep mountainous region i call home, i never really trust my car. oh yeah and its a piece of shit and takes like 20 minutes just to get up a hill that felly's car takes like its pie.

mmm. pie.

technically i shouldn't even be going home today. i find it terribly inconsiderate when professors assign papers for the week after thanksgiving. It's like, here's some time off for you...to do school work! bastards. so yeah i have one paper due on tuesday and another due wednesday with a presentation to go with it. i mean, i guess if i wanted to look at the brightside, at least i will knock out two out of three real quick and only have one left before i am free.

Last night Felly and I watched (another) one of the worst (lesbian) movies ever. I can say that just about 99.9% of "lesbian" movies suck ass. Period. They either have bad plots, bad acting, bad sex, or bad all of the above. They just don't make em like they used to. This one was called "Kate's Addiction" and it was about this psycho bitch (Kate) who murders her best friend's fiance because she wants her for herself. the murder scene should have tipped us off but we continued to watch, only to learn later that the psycho had been drugging the friend all throughout college so that she could rape her in her semi-coherent but not remembering state. GROSS. Oh yeah, and ultimately, the crazy psycho gets killed and the friend and her new boyfriend end up happily ever after. Yeah, like that.

Anyway, I'llllllll be hooooooome for the holidays, so ya'll have a fabulous thanksgiving. Word.