e:theecarey, if you see this call me.

e:chico, when are we going to lunch? call me.

e:vincent, when you're finally free of that hell hole, call me.

e:lilho, we have drinking to do. call me.

e:terry, don't worry about the hookah! you don't have to call me.

e:paul, sorry i left my bike behind. when is a good time to pick it up? call me.

e:soma, are you going to rabbit in the moon? call me.

e:joshua, just call me.


i'll get photos of the weekend up, likely tomorrow. ciao.

the dating hyena can kiss my bootilicious bottom!

my sister got me some really cute flip-flops today for babysitting

vultures are hovering over my head

i could be mothe teresa and still everything i say is taken the wrong way. i couldn't be more genuine or sincere.

i live in my own reality. you live in yours. i STILL think there is enough overlap that we can come to certain understandings.

ciao.

Must be funny. In a rich man's world.

I knew there was a lengthy process involved in getting my visa to work in Qatar. I didn't know it was going to cost me around $300 to do it. I don't have $300. I also didn't know I had to get a physical with a major work-up in addition. Physical, plus chest x-rays, tb test, urinalysis, blood work to test several functions, something to do with viruses and I forget the last thing.

Fuck knows how much that's going to cost. I don't have any insurance. I'm pretty sure a plain old physical would cost around $100, but that doesn't count all those other bells and whistles. Great.

I also have to pay the air freight costs up front and get reimbursed. Right, no money for that either. So looks like, unless I go rob the A-Plus, I'll be traveling over with only what I can fit in 2 pieces of luggage and a carry-on. Snap.

I've been having more bad dreams, lots of anxiety, more depressed days than happy days...and I have to babysit another 3 weeks. It's not how I wanted to spend my last month in Buffalo. But even if we get what we want it's not what we need.

people suck. i've been stabbed in the back so many times i look like mesh. people have two faces. just when i think they've come around and they are actually nice and sincere, they spit at you with their other face. end rant.

i had a dream that there was a flash flood. for whatever reason, i had a surfboard with me. i struggled to stay afloat on it as i slid wildly out of control down a corridor of water where the road used to be.

possible good news is that i got an e-mail from future boss who says HR screws a lot of things up and i may not have to do ALL of those medical tests. that will save me some money.

i requested a personal loan. it's the only way for me to come up with enough money to cover all these necessities. i'm holding my breath until i find out if it comes through. if not....i don't want to think about it.

I got the loan I applied for, I don't have to do all those medical tests, and I have an official leave date! July 16.

Even better, the route they have me on sends me on British Airways! This means I get a full fledged Boeing 747 on a good airline. Not that puny crap Continental stuck me on for 9 hours from Berlin.

Now I can get back to concentrating on packing/storing my things and completing my visa paperwork/security check.

Oh, and carey, carbombs this weekend fo sho. I gots the Jameson and Baileys, you bring the Guinness!

Happy 29 Joshua and Jason!

Thanks for the coffee Josh. I really enjoyed our conversation

I just got an e-mail that says in fact they screwed up and I do have to take ALL of those medical exams before I leave!

I don't even have a doctor here. Supposedly the lady I saw in high school might still be around but I don't think a small town doctor can do all those tests. How do you even walk into an office and say "I'd like chest x-ray please". It's not like they give you a hypochondriacs menu to select your testing options.

I attended a bachelorette party at the Chocolate Bar last night. The place is a lot smaller and not as fancy as I imagined it. These two older guys were hitting on us and it was pretty gross. Seriously, they approached me and said, "We just want to put it out there that we both got waxed today. Our backs are clean". Who SAYS that???

My shell might be tough. My eyes may be vacant. But there is still a soul in here. Push me out the door on a lonely road. My hands and knees aren't wounded. But my veins still run with blood. I'm not a fucking super hero. I don't always know the answer. But I do what I think is right. I fight to protect the genuine. You call me a monster.

Will the weak. Feed the fire. Propagate the pitiful. Clap for the crazy.

Why can't you SEE???

yah. i've upgraded. car bombs aren't enough for this gal. i created the bus bomb. it's super sized guinness gluttony at its finest! woot.

but it was a little hot in the sun so we retired to the fanned living room for a pitcher of mojitos. which is now gone

i love durnk sundays. i love boys that aren't jerks. i hate girls that are double standard magicians. i'm drunk and i didn't have 12 toooters. we ordered food.

I've decided I can no longer waste the mental energy being concerned with other people. I leave in less than a month. I've got bigger fish to fry, like sorting out my business here to prepare for my next big adventure. I can't afford to spend another minute being sucked into other people's worlds. I can't worry about who's going to be hurt next or if I can or even should prevent that. I'm putting the focus back on me, where it should be.

The bottom line is I don't need to laundry list my qualifications on a daily basis in search of validation. You either know me and appreciate me, or you don't. It's a good day because I'm alright with me.

So...I'm thinking of planning a field trip to Canada's Wonderland before I go. I love coasters and I'd like to have some fun. Shout if you're interested. But don't go if you're just going to be one of those whiners that won't go on any rides.