hey peeps... haven't been around in a while, not sure why... but now that I'm more or less caught up, I'll be all addicted again I'm sure.

Hmm, what's new.

let's see. Well I think dan and I might actually be "friends". Sadly this seems to involve not really talking, but... I think i'm finally over everything. And have plans to go out with him and the new GF in a few weeks, and I'm actually really looking forward to it. He made a comment that made all residual feelings magically disappear- which is good. Now can really be platonic friends with no hidden agenda to hopefully 'win him back' or whatever. Yay for healthy relationships.

Had a few spectacularly drama- filled days/nights over the last couple weeks... suffice it to say, I really think all men will cheat if they think they won't get caught. Boo.

Have spent more time than I care to at the stupid Snooty Fox. But... when there are reps there expensing magnums of Veuve... it's hard to say no.

I bought plane tickets to go to Belgium for my vacation in April. Can't wait. Will visit my cousin living there, and may even get to go see my other cousin in Florence. If there's no time for that, will have to 'settle' for a day trip to Paris. Oh, shucks.

I don't know why I hate going to the grocery store so much. I have all these recipes for delicious stuff to make, but just can't bring myself to get in the car and go. I really don't think I've bought food once in 2009 aside from milk to put on cereal. Which means that when I do go, it will be a massive ordeal and I'm sure I'll spend >$200. I eat most of my food at work, and when home I seem to subsist on pickles and popcorn. I was going to go to wegman's today, planned it for days. But made an excuse that now i'll go on friday, and instead of going, answered all my email and caught up on estrip.

but on a somewhat related note, I've lost 14lb since new year's. woot woot.

What else. This is the time of year that I hate Buffalo. It warms up a little, I get all excited, friends around the country are talking about spring... stores have cute clothes out... then it fucking snows again and I want to poke my eyes out. March sucks.

What else. My niece is super adorable. here's a pic. or ten. That navy blue sweater was handknit for me by my mom when I was a baby. It has little silver buttons on the shoulder that are bears.

Stupid daylight savings time made getting up for work this morning NOT fun. blah.

but I had a lovely weekend. Pearl St and Encore on friday...
then last night roller derby and a party downtown.

I love/hate how giddy it makes me for a cute guy to flirt with me. (especially when I have been warned that said cute boy will only break my heart and to avoid him.)

And I hate the fact that I am so reluctant to believe a compliment. Last night as we were leaving, some totally random dude looked at me and said "you're hot". And rather than thinking "damn straight!" and being flattered, I mumbled thanks, but assumed he was mocking me and being sarcastic.

7 hours down, 20 to go. I so do not want to be at work today, and am sad to be missing brunch and movie night. Pout.

So I FINALLY went to wegman's today (for the first time in months), and bought an obscene amount of food. I was actually embarrassed when my landlords pulled in right behind me and had to see it all.

But I saw e:enknot there, and he seemed skeptical that I would actually eat this food.

But so far so good. I bought a ton of just simple basic staples, and a bunch of fresh stuff. yes, some of the veggies will probably be bad before I get to them, but I'm trying. But hopefully I'm well enough stocked now, that if I want to make something, I'm not missing something easy and obvious.

But my point- Look tony, look! I cooked! I am eating the food!

I finally made this recipe that I found a while ago, and OMG I am SO happy with it. It's SO yum, and healthy. And filling. I can't wait to eat leftovers tomorrow. And if I can do it, it's easy. So in the food porn tradition of Paul and Tiny- here's my chicken-basil-stringbean in a lemongrass-coconut-green-curry sauce concoction. The picture really doesn't do it justice, but yum.

The only glitch is that I had to make rice, which I've never done before without a rice cooker. So, the recipe called for 2 cups of rice. I missed the word "cooked" in there. So, I cooked two cups of rice. Which turned into about 5. Oops. Lesson learned.

Maybe I'll actually try to stick with this "cooking my own food" nonsense for a while... It's kinda fun. And satisfying.

The picture says it all.

What a weird day...

First of all, as I drove home yesterday, I think it was about 50+ out, with blue skies- it felt like spring. I was happy.

This morning- it snowed.

When I got to work, I parked in an amazing parking spot, and was happy. No 'no parking' sign anywhere. I checked.

When I came out of work, I had a parking ticket. The no parking sign was in the form of yellow lines on the pavement, which were covered with snow when I parked.

I had my yearly inservice exam back in the end of january. this year's was particularly important, because they told me that if I didn't do well, they might not let me graduate. (and if I don't graduate, I am fucked. Like, have wasted 12 years and 200K, fucked.)

Well, scores were due out this week. I got mine in the mail yesterday. It's better than last year, but still not fantastic.

Well.... this morning I saw our program director. He waved me over and said "doc, talk to me." I thought "oh shit."
But- he put out his hand and said congratulations, I've done well, and that his recommendation to the board will be that I graduate. Won't be official til the board meeting in april, but he says I don't need to worry.

THANK EFFING GOD.

THEN... I went to the OR. Did a case with an attending I like. As we were getting ready, he said "come talk to me" and so I followed him while we scrubbed our hands. He said "you know we all talk about you guys, right?" I said 'yeah...' He said "well yesterday people were talking, and someone said that you have the best hands in your class. I can't say who said it, but I just thought you might like to hear that."

Then he went in to the OR. While I finished scrubbing, another attending, who as always hated me, (like "tried to get me fired" hated me) came up behind me and startled me by saying 'have I ever told you how good looking you are?"

HUH????? 1: WTF. 2: Inappropriate!!!!! 3: EW.

What a crazy day!

Oh my, where to start. As usual, this is a lovely story of me and my stupid constant drama.

A few weeks ago, I met these two guys through a friend. One is older and more of a 'good guy'. The other is younger and cuter and probably more of a player. I went to 'movie night' at the first guy's house. The other guy had a date there, and they were all smoochy- I didn't think much of it.

The next weekend (last weekend) I saw them again. Younger guy was cute and flirty and all over me- made a point of telling me he is NOT dating the girl from movie night. I was kind of psyched about the attention. But then, all of the sudden, he disappeared. I was a little confused by it. But he texted the next day to apologize- some friend had a crisis and he had to leave suddenly, and he was sorry. But I talked to my friend that introduced us, and she said "omg NO. Stay away. he's nuts. He will break your heart. I promise you that. You know I never tell you what to do about guys. But do yourself a favor and do NOT date him. Have fun, enjoy him as a friend, but do NOT date him." Of course, I did not like that advice, so when he invited me out again on saturday, I went. When I got to the party, he introduced to some little bimbo chick, and they joked about how they've never dated but people think they have. Or something. he was all flirty with me the rest of the night, inviting me to stay over, etc- but I didn't. A hug and a little kiss, but that was it. Work in the AM, etc etc.

Then throughout the week he was sending me flirty texts, "have a great day hun" "can't wait to see you again this weekend" etc.

So saturday he had told me where he'd be out. I had to go to a friend's going away party first. And eventually ditched my friends, like an asshole, to go meet this guy, all alone. I get there, and the first person I see is the guy i dated around christmas, who harassed me about being "busting out of my shirt" (which I was NOT by any means, particularly when compared to the other girls there.) (but besides, that's not something people usually complain about.) he was there with some girl I don't like, so I was hiding from them the rest of the night. [and am still taking the heat for that today.]

But so I get up to the bar, and see 'my' guy. Making out with some girl. WTF! He sees me and runs over to introduce me to his girlfriend. Who i then realized was the girl from the week before, that he was "not dating." By the end of the night I asked "isn't that the girl you said you weren't dating last week?" and he said 'yeah! we just got together. it's so great. she's moved in. we're living together. i'm going to marry this girl."

yeeaaahhhh. You've been dating less than a week. Good luck with that one. And it also strikes me as odd that he didn't seem to have the slightest clue that this might possibly be confusing or upsetting to me. Just kept asking me "isn't she great? don't you love her?" (I wanted to say "um, no, she's a stupid chippewa bimbo with uggs, a fake tan, and bleached, straightened hair. they're a dime a dozen.")

Oh, and while I was at the bar, guess who else walked in- my ex from when I first moved here. The guy I dated for a year. fortunately there is no drama there, and we chatted and it was fine.

So, with my tail between my legs, I went BACK to hang out with the friends I had ditched for this guy. Fortunately they are good friends and didn't care that I'd left them. By this point, the only ones left were the friend who's moving, and his girlfriend's brother. And the three of us stayed out til 5am. It was a lot of fun.

Girlfriend's brother was chatting me up. kept saying 'I love this girl!" and then he'd say "i'm married with three kids, i'm harmless, i can flirt as much as I want." And he went on about how this city is so tough for single people, and he feels bad for me. That he thinks I'm amazing... beautiful, smart, funny, successful, blah blah blah. I mean, he told me how amazing I am so many times that it started to make me uncomfortable. How many times can I smile and say "aw, thanks!"?

and then he said "do you know why you can't meet a guy in buffalo?" I said "i dunno... i'm kind of shy? I don't look in the right places?" he laughed and said 'you're not shy, you're talking to me and we just met!" I said "yeah, but you approached ME." But he said "no no no. that's not it. You won't meet someone here because you're too good for them all. AND, because you're fatass."

FATASS. he said it like 50 times. That I'm so amazing, BUT 'you need to go to the gym. But you know that I'm sure. Just get on the treadmill for a month and you'll be amazing."

So the next day at the parade we all called me Fatass. "no breakfast for her, she's a fatass!" etc. I told my friend M that story, and he said "oh please. you're not a fatass. you're in your thirties. It's what happens." I love M.

The thing is, he hit my most sensitive spot, which is why it sucked.

Though- fatass apparently is right. I weighed myself this am- I gained FIVE pounds since YESTERAY. FIVE! In one day! I didn't even think that was possible! And I didn't eat that much- and I had even budgeted in one 'bad' day for the week! I'm hoping it's just water weight. Booo.

So, there you go peeps. The latest installment in my personal soap opera!! Thanks for reading! haha.

1: I just saw e:MK on the news!!!

2: I just made this and it's super delicious (though I used 4x the recommended amount of red pepper flakes. And a splash of Franks):

Ingredients
1 spray(s) cooking spray
1 medium onion(s), finely chopped
4 medium garlic clove(s), minced
45 oz canned black beans, undrained, divided (three 15 oz cans)
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes, or to taste (MORE MORE MORE!)
1 tsp ground cumin
14 1/2 oz fat-free chicken broth, or vegetable broth
10 oz canned tomatoes with green chilies, such as Rotel Tomatoes
11 oz canned yellow corn, drained

Instructions
Coat bottom of a large stockpot with cooking spray. Add onion and garlic and cook, stirring frequently, until onions are soft but not brown, about 5 minutes.

Place one can of beans in blender; add sautéed onion mixture, red pepper flakes and cumin. Cover and blend on high until smooth, about 30 seconds. Pour mixture back into stockpot.

Place second can of beans and broth in blender and puree until smooth; add to stockpot.

Stir third can of beans (do not puree first), tomatoes and green chilies, and corn into stockpot. Bring to a boil, lower heat to medium and simmer for 20 to 25 minutes. Yields about 1 1/2 cups of soup per serving.

3: I got my dad a digital picture frame for his bday, and am enjoying loading it up for him. Found some new pix that my mom was apparently hiding from me:

I've lost 10% of my bodyweight.
(now for another 10%!)

omg, this is awesome:

Even more amazing than the baby cuteness is the fact that my technophobe mother took these pix on her phone, and emailed them to me.