I didn't completely flip out during the last road race, even though I sat there in park for 25 minutes! I've been meaning to tell you all about this achievement. It was just a gorgeous day, sun shining, mild temps, and I had my iPhone plugged into the car stereo. It is, of course, still an unacceptable and utterly thoughtless interruption of the neighborhood, and it still boggles the mind why people can't get their shit together and ensure the hood can still operate properly during their race.

However, I decided that shitting my pants about it like the guy behind me wouldn't help the situation. So I started blasting "Eye of the Tiger" through the stereo to try and pump up the runners. Some got the humor in it and others looked annoyed, not like I give a damn about their feelings. I thought it was funny. Oh, and all of the girls in short short shorts REALLY helped to alleviate my pain. If you're a leg and butt man, you were in heaven. Hmm. Is it too late to change my mind and like road races?

At least I think it is. I'm no doctor. I keep on waking up in the middle of the night. Every night. And last night I couldn't fall asleep until 4 AM, giving me only 3 hours of sleep. It's only 10 after 9 and I can already tell I'm going to be dragging. I get cranky when I'm tired. Hopefully, I will catch a second wind after the rehearsal dinner and be up for some partying.

Gramma loved the iPhone. You see, when she was growing up everyone was poor. Everytime I spend money on something she sees it as a luxury. A lower middle class chip on her shoulder. Maybe this is an important thing for me to learn from. Nevertheless, I showed her some things and she flipped, she was so excited. We had a tech bonding moment you could say. I wish there was a LifeAlert app so I could keep track of her while on the move. I care about my Gramma. You only have one mother, you know.

It's a common harmless little joke among straight men that all women are crazy. It's just a matter of degree of nuttiness, and when you will learn first hand. But check THIS out:



I like to say "It speaks for itself" but this clearly doesn't. Poor goldfish, they never had a chance. I've never made someone so mad they ate their pets, thank God. Actually I should be more thankful I've never had a girlfriend so insane they would actually eat a pet fish.

It's been well over a month. I just want all you lovelies I love you all. And that is all.