Ya know,
How hard is it to find an apartment that allows dogs? Before you struggle to speak the obvious answer to my question allow me to lecture for a moment on this topic. I like to pontificate, it pleases my mother as it is the closest I will ever get to being a priest.
It is damn hard. Damn, damnably, damn hard. Harder than a closet case in a high school locker room. I understand it is a hassle. Dogs bark, poop, and their owners puppy talk and poop (though where they are supposed to usually) and it is just a mess requiring hosing and a strong stomach.
But then, most places wont allow dogs but they will allow smokers who can stain walls faster than a gin soaked hobo. They will allow gamers who will mound up roach filled bags of cheetos while in the middle of a very important world of warcraft raid. They will allow people with no taste to paint. I swear, there are dozens of shades of red people paint their walls and only two don't resemble the shade of a hookers lips (you decide which set).
Then, their is the weight limit. Many places have a 20lb weight limit. And really, at that unsubstantial point don't you just have a fat cat too dumb to use a litter box?
Now, our dog is big. 110lb. But you will not find a lazier dog. Worried about your wainscoting from being chewed up? Not to worry, our dog is passed out from his exhausting crotch licking session this morning. He is sleeping it off. Little dogs can be vicious little bastards. They can be because it is tough for them to kill their master. Big dogs could eat your face if they wanted to. But those were weeded out of the gene pool pretty fast. It is called domestication. You land lords should look it up. It is the same thing that gives us eggs, milk, and fois gras.
All I am asking, cosmos, dear reader, is to find an apartment that will accept a dog who wont do anything and owners who will do everything. Ya know, responsible people who have an eye for that certain shade of red.
see you all tomorrow,
-James
How hard is it to find an apartment that allows dogs? Before you struggle to speak the obvious answer to my question allow me to lecture for a moment on this topic. I like to pontificate, it pleases my mother as it is the closest I will ever get to being a priest.
It is damn hard. Damn, damnably, damn hard. Harder than a closet case in a high school locker room. I understand it is a hassle. Dogs bark, poop, and their owners puppy talk and poop (though where they are supposed to usually) and it is just a mess requiring hosing and a strong stomach.
But then, most places wont allow dogs but they will allow smokers who can stain walls faster than a gin soaked hobo. They will allow gamers who will mound up roach filled bags of cheetos while in the middle of a very important world of warcraft raid. They will allow people with no taste to paint. I swear, there are dozens of shades of red people paint their walls and only two don't resemble the shade of a hookers lips (you decide which set).
Then, their is the weight limit. Many places have a 20lb weight limit. And really, at that unsubstantial point don't you just have a fat cat too dumb to use a litter box?
Now, our dog is big. 110lb. But you will not find a lazier dog. Worried about your wainscoting from being chewed up? Not to worry, our dog is passed out from his exhausting crotch licking session this morning. He is sleeping it off. Little dogs can be vicious little bastards. They can be because it is tough for them to kill their master. Big dogs could eat your face if they wanted to. But those were weeded out of the gene pool pretty fast. It is called domestication. You land lords should look it up. It is the same thing that gives us eggs, milk, and fois gras.
All I am asking, cosmos, dear reader, is to find an apartment that will accept a dog who wont do anything and owners who will do everything. Ya know, responsible people who have an eye for that certain shade of red.
see you all tomorrow,
-James
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Words: 382 -- Buffalo, NY
