Paul: Did you see my finger?

Me: Yes Paul, I did. It's gross.

Paul: I smashed it so hard with a sledgehammer. And then it part of it flapped open and.. (this is where I tune him out because it was disgusting.)

Me: Why did you need a sledgehammer to plant trees?

Paul: After you plant them you hit them a few times. A hurt tree grows faster trying to heal.

Me: Oh. Really? I guess yeah I can see that.

Paul: (laughing) Ok I can't really let you believe that because you're going to go around hitting trees now.

Me: Most gullible moment of 2009.

I was at e:businesscheese's apartment the other day and this went down:

Makeup artist: explaining his expert application of fake lashes.

Me: leaning in paying really close attention, not realizing my mouth was agape.

e:Businesscheese: OMG look at Jessica, it's like she is listening to Obama speak!!

Me: Right, except I don't think I even paid that much attention to Obama.

Moral of the story: My actions have spoken louder than words and I love make-up more than Obama.