I got back to work today to find a few gifts from co-workers at my desk. Now I know you're not suppossed to look a gift horse in the mouth or something but..

I got this as a gift:



It's so not me. I've never been one to carry engraved keychains with pictures of loved ones. There's space for 6 pictures. I have 2 problems with that feature:

1. There aren't 6 people in the world I like enough to carry around pictures of.

2. How do you get pictuers that tiny to fit into it?

So yeah I'm a jerk, but I hate this key chain.

please let me know ASAP so I can discontinue our friendship.

Thanks,
Jessica

Copy of my recent im conversation with a ATT customer service agent:

Richard: Welcome to AT&T online Sales support. How may I assist you with placing your order today?
Jessica: hi, I have a question about purchasing a phone. Currently I am an ATT customer
Jessica: Ive found that the phones online are much less expensive than in stores
Richard: Great! I'd be happy to help you.
Jessica: however when I go to purchase a phone online im required to pick a plan with the purchase
Jessica: is there a way to only purchase the phone?
Richard: Yes, this is the case. Do you have a wireless phone with us now?
Jessica: I do
Richard: And you just need a replacement phone?
Jessica: thats correct
Richard: Unfortunately, customers are not able to do an upgrade online. You will want to visit one of our local stores to get a new phone for your service.
Jessica: thats what I was trying to avoid
Jessica: but thank you
Richard: Sure, sorry.

Things I find wrong with this conversation:
I stated I'm already a customer, when he asks if I am.
I state that I'm not looking to go to the ATT store.
He gives me the complete opposite answer of the person I just spoke with on the phone at ATT.
Oh an they've also informed me that I have exactly one day on which I can downgrade my plan (if you know me you know I avoid the phone ike the plague). Also the woman on the phone told me to just buy the phone and then pick a new plan, but somehow it won't be billed if I dont activitate it. That sound so shady. This is exactly why I buy a craptastic phone and use it until I get messages like"no sim card found" "invalid battery" or my phone just shuts off randomly.

In conclusion I hate ATT and I hate phones.

Because Mario Lopez can do this:

*extra points for the leg kick while doing the snake

**extra points for anyone who breaks out this dance at any function I attend on the next year.

He is qualified to be a host for this: