Cleaned up the look a bit today.

via video, as well as text.

So as a pastor, I serve all kinds of people. It's one of the joys of the job, working with people way to the left of me and way to the right, richer and poorer (both by quite a bit, it seems) creative and/or analytical, believers and non-, you name the "genre" of person, and they are likely part of the Elmwood Village--and thus my "parish" if not my congregation (which though small, contains a wide/weird sampling of Buffalo---and I can call us weird because I love weird).

While I love the diversity of "my parish," it seems like every pastor also ends up serving a particular population more. Dan Kimball is the only Rockabilly pastor I know of. Mark Driscoll is all about macho culture. Bill Hybels is good with Chicagoland executives, and Joel Osteen is for people that need mediocre jokes and positive thinking.

There is one "type" of person that I spend more of my time talking with than all others combined. He'she is the one on who has either been directly hurt by the church or severely disappointed with it.

The causes of the hurt may include (but are not limited to):

asking the wrong question
listening to the wrong teacher
hanging out with the wrong people
wearing the wrong clothes
liking the wrong music
voting the wrong candidate/party
liking the wrong people
being too happy
being too sad
not volunteering enough
taking over everything
questioning the status quo
questioning militarism
questioning theology
questioning a pastor/teacher/small group leader
just about any excuse will do if you are "different."

What's worse, many Christians, when the church turns on us, have nobody else to turn to. We wend up very alone.

I know that Christians are supposed to love one another and build each other up, but just today I met with four different people that were broken by the church (that I am aware of--could be more) Sure, it was an above average day--but there are still a lot of us out there. (I myself have received an evangelical "shunning" before--and I'm a regular Charlie Church!)

So with all the hurt people I've seen, perhaps there should be some specialized help, right?

But I don't know of a community out there with this particular calling/gift. Do you?

The biggest reason that this bunch does not exist is that such a community would be a gathering of Christians which is exactly what each individual has learned (through sad experience) to avoid.

But it is also the thing we crave the most. We want community--it just doesn't feel safe.

We hurt people need to know that they are not alone. We need (excuse the cliche) to tell our stories, and to know that there are people that won't hurt/hate/exclude them for whatever it was that led to them being hurt by/thrown out of their church. (Again, please forgive me if I sound like Oprah--I've been thinking about this all day, and it is late).

It seems to me that such a gathering would have to be loosely organized, but with strict rules, sort of like AA. No set leaders, but agreed upon rules that are known to be helpful for healing (and to prevent the behaviors that caused the problems in the first place). These rules would be especially needed because people that had hurt each other would likely eventually end up in the same group.

I know--strict rules are part of what may have driven us out of church. I'm not talking about a dress code. I'm talking about rules like "listen first."

As I see it, the rules would hold us to our purpose--healing for people hurt by church. (Nothing against other problems of the world out there--but this is a big enough problem to require a singular focus).

So I guess I have three questions.

1. Do you see the same need that I do?

2. Would you be willing to be a part of this group?

3. What do you think would be appropriate rules for the gathering?

If you are "out" as a hurt Christian (or the close relative--a frustrated Christian who can't find a church that has room for him/her), you may respond in the comments section, but if you would answer better anonymously, please send an email to drew AT elmwoodjesus.org or a direct message.